JMeganSnow

This idea ignores the fact that the intellectual property is not the physical object (although that is the concretization of the idea) but the idea itself. The belief you mention is the result of a concrete-bound mentality that cannot handle abstractions.

I only have a copy of The Ayn Rand Lexicon but I believe the essay is in CUI.

Thinking of it another way: a copyright or a patent or a trademark (intellectual property) is the result of a contract between you and the government in which you say, "I've created this <something that constitutes intellectual property> and I would dearly love to publish it, however, I need some sort of guarantee that I will be ABLE to profit on it before I will do so."

The government says, "That's great, and we recognize that intellectual property rights are absolutely necessary for the furtherance of a society, so we will recognize your right to this <something> for <this duration>."

No government on earth (or anywhere else) could guarantee those rights FOREVER. It can't be done. And what, precisely, is the nature of a contract where one party claims they will do something that is, in fact, physically impossible? I'd call that fraud.

As for the converse, if the government doesn't respect your intellectual property for a duration that you consider tenable: don't engage in the contract. No one FORCES anyone to file a patent, copyright, or trademark. This is one circumstance where the government is acting simply as the guarantor of a contract. However, unless your invention (and I'm going to dismiss copyrights and trademarks because those are so easy to copy it's not even funny) is so revolutionary that you could not reasonably expect someone to figure out how to reproduce it even through reverse engineering you'd quickly discover why the government MUST act as the guarantor in these situations.

I propose that you find this theoretical faster-than-light object before you worry about what color it is.

Psychological visibility as Thomas was discussing it doesn't mean being admired necessarily, it means being *understood*. It's no good being admired in a vacuum or, worse, being admired for all the wrong reasons. Personally, I prefer constructive critics to admirers--the critics help you learn how to be *better*. Fans are an intellectual dead-end and a drain.

I checked but I didn't find a thread on this movie yet.

I just saw it tonight, and I think it was probably the best movie I've seen in years. The heroine was completely human and yet larger-than-life, much like John Galt is in Atlas Shrugged. She lives on her terms, and that's it.

"All fighters are pigheaded about something . . . there's always one thing that you can't beat out of them no matter how much you try, even if they know it'll be the ruin of them. But then, if you could beat it out of them, they wouldn't be fighters at all."

Wonderfully selfish art. Extremely romantic. I cried for an hour and a half.

Spoiler alert

The best part of the movie, I think, is when she throws her family out of her hospital room and refuses to sign her money over to them.

I once complained to my boss (in all seriousness, too) that my coworkers have a concrete-bound mentality. She didn't get it, so I had to explain.

Benpercent: the terrorists weren't even Islamic by implication, and there wasn't the slightest implication that it was *America* that had to be defended. He was just doing the typical super-hero save-the-poor-screaming-women-and-kids.

I was a little disappointed, but I've been looking forward to this movie since I saw the first preview months ago. I thought it was a good movie, but I think the acting and my awareness of what it *could* have been highlighted the flaws. I just don't think that the grandeur of the movie expressed the grandeur of the theme. The disparity made me a little sad.

I think Robert Downey Jr. had the *look* of Tony Stark down, but for most of the movie he sounded like a carnival barker--working so hard to sound casual and friendly and likeable that he was actually more than a bit off-putting. Granted this may have been intentional--his mind was racing ahead so quickly that he couldn't finish one idea before he was off to the next. But I don't think that came across in the characterization very well.

When he was working on the suit, there was a wonderful opportunity to show that here was a man who loved his work and was extremely good at it, and what do we get? Hyperactive chatter with voice-activated robots. I suspect it was supposed to be cute and/or comedy relief, but it was a bad time for it.

The banter during the end fight and the way Pepper Potts behaved annoyed me.

Actually, no, because concepts like matter and energy belong to the specific sciences, not philosophy.  Dealing with these terms in a philosophical treatise would be rampantly anti-hierarchical and produce nothing but confusion.

Jenni: 
I currently have no friends at all and would love to have people in my life (my real, physical, real-world life) that I can share  and discuss my values (objectivism and capitalism) with. What can I do to find such friends in real life? I live on the east side of Indianapolis.
Closely related: I have been studying economics on my own and have been thinking I should major in it since I enjoy learning about it so much and it might put me in touch with other pro-capitalist people. On the other hand, given the schools that dominate the econ departments today, I'm thinking it might be a mistake to do that.  --Chris
These aren't really philosophical questions per se, so the only real way to go about answering them is to use my own past experience with life.  So the answers are probably going to seem a bit unscientific.

In essence, the answer to the first question is that if you want to meet people, you need to go where the people are.  I don't mean move--I live in Ohio myself, and I know for a fact that there are a fair number of Objectivists and/or fellow travelers in the local area.  Some I've even met via this forum.  There usually aren't enough in a small geographical area to form an actual "club", and for friendship it's really not enough that you both be interested in Objectivism or Capitalism, odd as that may sound.  Friendships generally form around a shared interest in DOING things, not just talking about them.  So you need to go to where people are doing things together.  This has the added benefit that if you don't hit it off with anyone particularly well, hey, at least you got to enjoy the activity.  Almost every group of people that is enthusiastic about an activity is looking for more people to join them, so it's pretty easy to find the equivalent of a "beginner's class" for just about anything, if you just look.
While it's great to have people around who agree with you on politics and philosophy, I think you'll find that for genuine friendship and companionship this isn't really all that necessary (or sufficient, for that matter).  I actually know plenty of people that I agree very strongly with on many issues, yet I cannot STAND them, personally.  I know many people that I disagree with on a large number of issues, but we're quite close.  And every possible degree of shading in between.  I've found in my own life that it's not so much specific shared values that drive the closeness of a relationship (although that's usually how the relationship gets started and how you maintain it, by sharing activities), but a similar APPROACH to those values.  Pretty much all the things that get lumped under the vague heading of "personality" or "sense of life".  So, really, that's it--you'll have more success with meeting people if you . . . go out and meet people.  Yeah, it's a tautology.  But it really does work.

As for your economics studies . . . I am going to give you what is probably going to sound like completely insane advice.  It is not the advice that pretty much anyone else will give you regarding college, but this is based on some HORRIBLE experiences of my own and those of many of my friends, so LISTEN UP.

DO NOT pick your major in college based on what you enjoy learning/reading about.  If you don't have a particular educational goal in mind re: college, DON'T GO AT ALL.  Get a job, ANY job, instead, and cultivate your JOB SKILLS.  Meet people who are successful in their positions and cultivate your relationship with them.  I don't mean be a suckup.  I mean, talk to them, learn what they know that lets them do what they do, study their personal behavior.  It doesn't hurt to be friendly because they may be able to give you a line on an opportunity or three, but don't depend on that.
Once you have some kind of notion of what you do and don't want to do CAREER-wise, THEN it's time to start looking at educational opportunities, and it's very important to keep in mind that what you are making here is a FINANCIAL INVESTMENT.  You are looking to get value out of this, and most college courses are INSANELY overpriced at present.  Don't disdain vocational training or local community colleges--the value they offer for the amount of money you have to spend is often much, much better than anything else you'll find.  Don't spend more money than you have to and pay cash if you can.  If you can manage to live with your parents or a roommate or otherwise save money on housing and other living expenses, do so.  You're not being a "parasite", you are building your future.  The more money you can save in the beginning, the better off you will be later on.  Borrowing money at this stage in your life is like putting an anchor on a leaky rowboat.  You're not even all that sure you can float your own weight, much less that great heavy mass.

Ultimately my educational advice is that if you're going to be spending money on it, you need to be absolutely as cold-blooded as Midas Mulligan in how you treat the transaction.  Be a total hardass and DEMAND your money's worth, because this stuff is EXPENSIVE.  Aside from a house, a college education is probably the most expensive single thing you'll ever buy in your life (and maybe even MORE expensive than that house, in some cases).  Would you buy a house based on liking the looks of it?  No.  Would you buy a car because it has a nice paint job?  Heck no.  Don't stumble into an educational decision.  And don't listen to the educational advisors who insist that "you can change majors later".  Sure, you can, but remember that their job is to SELL YOU COLLEGE.  Treat them like what they are, salespeople, and question whether you need what they're selling AT ALL.  Then be prepared to walk away from that deal if you aren't sure what you want or aren't getting it.
You will save yourself SO much grief later on in life.  And also, once you're firm in your mind about what you want to get out of college, you will have the motivation you need to sweat it out even if the program is filled with poncy twits.  So, if the thought of poncy twits in your program is worrying you, that's a good sign that it's not something you want to plunge into right now.  You have other options.  College is not some kind of way of putting off adulthood.  It is jumping in head-first without bothering to check how deep the water is.

Jenni: 
I currently have no friends at all and would love to have people in my life (my real, physical, real-world life) that I can share  and discuss my values (objectivism and capitalism) with. What can I do to find such friends in real life? I live on the east side of Indianapolis.
Closely related: I have been studying economics on my own and have been thinking I should major in it since I enjoy learning about it so much and it might put me in touch with other pro-capitalist people. On the other hand, given the schools that dominate the econ departments today, I'm thinking it might be a mistake to do that.  --Chris
These aren't really philosophical questions per se, so the only real way to go about answering them is to use my own past experience with life.  So the answers are probably going to seem a bit unscientific.

In essence, the answer to the first question is that if you want to meet people, you need to go where the people are.  I don't mean move--I live in Ohio myself, and I know for a fact that there are a fair number of Objectivists and/or fellow travelers in the local area.  Some I've even met via this forum.  There usually aren't enough in a small geographical area to form an actual "club", and for friendship it's really not enough that you both be interested in Objectivism or Capitalism, odd as that may sound.  Friendships generally form around a shared interest in DOING things, not just talking about them.  So you need to go to where people are doing things together.  This has the added benefit that if you don't hit it off with anyone particularly well, hey, at least you got to enjoy the activity.  Almost every group of people that is enthusiastic about an activity is looking for more people to join them, so it's pretty easy to find the equivalent of a "beginner's class" for just about anything, if you just look.
While it's great to have people around who agree with you on politics and philosophy, I think you'll find that for genuine friendship and companionship this isn't really all that necessary (or sufficient, for that matter).  I actually know plenty of people that I agree very strongly with on many issues, yet I cannot STAND them, personally.  I know many people that I disagree with on a large number of issues, but we're quite close.  And every possible degree of shading in between.  I've found in my own life that it's not so much specific shared values that drive the closeness of a relationship (although that's usually how the relationship gets started and how you maintain it, by sharing activities), but a similar APPROACH to those values.  Pretty much all the things that get lumped under the vague heading of "personality" or "sense of life".  So, really, that's it--you'll have more success with meeting people if you . . . go out and meet people.  Yeah, it's a tautology.  But it really does work.

As for your economics studies . . . I am going to give you what is probably going to sound like completely insane advice.  It is not the advice that pretty much anyone else will give you regarding college, but this is based on some HORRIBLE experiences of my own and those of many of my friends, so LISTEN UP.

DO NOT pick your major in college based on what you enjoy learning/reading about.  If you don't have a particular educational goal in mind re: college, DON'T GO AT ALL.  Get a job, ANY job, instead, and cultivate your JOB SKILLS.  Meet people who are successful in their positions and cultivate your relationship with them.  I don't mean be a suckup.  I mean, talk to them, learn what they know that lets them do what they do, study their personal behavior.  It doesn't hurt to be friendly because they may be able to give you a line on an opportunity or three, but don't depend on that.
Once you have some kind of notion of what you do and don't want to do CAREER-wise, THEN it's time to start looking at educational opportunities, and it's very important to keep in mind that what you are making here is a FINANCIAL INVESTMENT.  You are looking to get value out of this, and most college courses are INSANELY overpriced at present.  Don't disdain vocational training or local community colleges--the value they offer for the amount of money you have to spend is often much, much better than anything else you'll find.  Don't spend more money than you have to and pay cash if you can.  If you can manage to live with your parents or a roommate or otherwise save money on housing and other living expenses, do so.  You're not being a "parasite", you are building your future.  The more money you can save in the beginning, the better off you will be later on.  Borrowing money at this stage in your life is like putting an anchor on a leaky rowboat.  You're not even all that sure you can float your own weight, much less that great heavy mass.

Ultimately my educational advice is that if you're going to be spending money on it, you need to be absolutely as cold-blooded as Midas Mulligan in how you treat the transaction.  Be a total hardass and DEMAND your money's worth, because this stuff is EXPENSIVE.  Aside from a house, a college education is probably the most expensive single thing you'll ever buy in your life (and maybe even MORE expensive than that house, in some cases).  Would you buy a house based on liking the looks of it?  No.  Would you buy a car because it has a nice paint job?  Heck no.  Don't stumble into an educational decision.  And don't listen to the educational advisors who insist that "you can change majors later".  Sure, you can, but remember that their job is to SELL YOU COLLEGE.  Treat them like what they are, salespeople, and question whether you need what they're selling AT ALL.  Then be prepared to walk away from that deal if you aren't sure what you want or aren't getting it.
You will save yourself SO much grief later on in life.  And also, once you're firm in your mind about what you want to get out of college, you will have the motivation you need to sweat it out even if the program is filled with poncy twits.  So, if the thought of poncy twits in your program is worrying you, that's a good sign that it's not something you want to plunge into right now.  You have other options.  College is not some kind of way of putting off adulthood.  It is jumping in head-first without bothering to check how deep the water is.

Jenni: 
I currently have no friends at all and would love to have people in my life (my real, physical, real-world life) that I can share  and discuss my values (objectivism and capitalism) with. What can I do to find such friends in real life? I live on the east side of Indianapolis.
Closely related: I have been studying economics on my own and have been thinking I should major in it since I enjoy learning about it so much and it might put me in touch with other pro-capitalist people. On the other hand, given the schools that dominate the econ departments today, I'm thinking it might be a mistake to do that.  --Chris
These aren't really philosophical questions per se, so the only real way to go about answering them is to use my own past experience with life.  So the answers are probably going to seem a bit unscientific.

In essence, the answer to the first question is that if you want to meet people, you need to go where the people are.  I don't mean move--I live in Ohio myself, and I know for a fact that there are a fair number of Objectivists and/or fellow travelers in the local area.  Some I've even met via this forum.  There usually aren't enough in a small geographical area to form an actual "club", and for friendship it's really not enough that you both be interested in Objectivism or Capitalism, odd as that may sound.  Friendships generally form around a shared interest in DOING things, not just talking about them.  So you need to go to where people are doing things together.  This has the added benefit that if you don't hit it off with anyone particularly well, hey, at least you got to enjoy the activity.  Almost every group of people that is enthusiastic about an activity is looking for more people to join them, so it's pretty easy to find the equivalent of a "beginner's class" for just about anything, if you just look.
While it's great to have people around who agree with you on politics and philosophy, I think you'll find that for genuine friendship and companionship this isn't really all that necessary (or sufficient, for that matter).  I actually know plenty of people that I agree very strongly with on many issues, yet I cannot STAND them, personally.  I know many people that I disagree with on a large number of issues, but we're quite close.  And every possible degree of shading in between.  I've found in my own life that it's not so much specific shared values that drive the closeness of a relationship (although that's usually how the relationship gets started and how you maintain it, by sharing activities), but a similar APPROACH to those values.  Pretty much all the things that get lumped under the vague heading of "personality" or "sense of life".  So, really, that's it--you'll have more success with meeting people if you . . . go out and meet people.  Yeah, it's a tautology.  But it really does work.

As for your economics studies . . . I am going to give you what is probably going to sound like completely insane advice.  It is not the advice that pretty much anyone else will give you regarding college, but this is based on some HORRIBLE experiences of my own and those of many of my friends, so LISTEN UP.

DO NOT pick your major in college based on what you enjoy learning/reading about.  If you don't have a particular educational goal in mind re: college, DON'T GO AT ALL.  Get a job, ANY job, instead, and cultivate your JOB SKILLS.  Meet people who are successful in their positions and cultivate your relationship with them.  I don't mean be a suckup.  I mean, talk to them, learn what they know that lets them do what they do, study their personal behavior.  It doesn't hurt to be friendly because they may be able to give you a line on an opportunity or three, but don't depend on that.
Once you have some kind of notion of what you do and don't want to do CAREER-wise, THEN it's time to start looking at educational opportunities, and it's very important to keep in mind that what you are making here is a FINANCIAL INVESTMENT.  You are looking to get value out of this, and most college courses are INSANELY overpriced at present.  Don't disdain vocational training or local community colleges--the value they offer for the amount of money you have to spend is often much, much better than anything else you'll find.  Don't spend more money than you have to and pay cash if you can.  If you can manage to live with your parents or a roommate or otherwise save money on housing and other living expenses, do so.  You're not being a "parasite", you are building your future.  The more money you can save in the beginning, the better off you will be later on.  Borrowing money at this stage in your life is like putting an anchor on a leaky rowboat.  You're not even all that sure you can float your own weight, much less that great heavy mass.

Ultimately my educational advice is that if you're going to be spending money on it, you need to be absolutely as cold-blooded as Midas Mulligan in how you treat the transaction.  Be a total hardass and DEMAND your money's worth, because this stuff is EXPENSIVE.  Aside from a house, a college education is probably the most expensive single thing you'll ever buy in your life (and maybe even MORE expensive than that house, in some cases).  Would you buy a house based on liking the looks of it?  No.  Would you buy a car because it has a nice paint job?  Heck no.  Don't stumble into an educational decision.  And don't listen to the educational advisors who insist that "you can change majors later".  Sure, you can, but remember that their job is to SELL YOU COLLEGE.  Treat them like what they are, salespeople, and question whether you need what they're selling AT ALL.  Then be prepared to walk away from that deal if you aren't sure what you want or aren't getting it.
You will save yourself SO much grief later on in life.  And also, once you're firm in your mind about what you want to get out of college, you will have the motivation you need to sweat it out even if the program is filled with poncy twits.  So, if the thought of poncy twits in your program is worrying you, that's a good sign that it's not something you want to plunge into right now.  You have other options.  College is not some kind of way of putting off adulthood.  It is jumping in head-first without bothering to check how deep the water is.

Jenni: 
I currently have no friends at all and would love to have people in my life (my real, physical, real-world life) that I can share  and discuss my values (objectivism and capitalism) with. What can I do to find such friends in real life? I live on the east side of Indianapolis.
Closely related: I have been studying economics on my own and have been thinking I should major in it since I enjoy learning about it so much and it might put me in touch with other pro-capitalist people. On the other hand, given the schools that dominate the econ departments today, I'm thinking it might be a mistake to do that.  --Chris
These aren't really philosophical questions per se, so the only real way to go about answering them is to use my own past experience with life.  So the answers are probably going to seem a bit unscientific.

In essence, the answer to the first question is that if you want to meet people, you need to go where the people are.  I don't mean move--I live in Ohio myself, and I know for a fact that there are a fair number of Objectivists and/or fellow travelers in the local area.  Some I've even met via this forum.  There usually aren't enough in a small geographical area to form an actual "club", and for friendship it's really not enough that you both be interested in Objectivism or Capitalism, odd as that may sound.  Friendships generally form around a shared interest in DOING things, not just talking about them.  So you need to go to where people are doing things together.  This has the added benefit that if you don't hit it off with anyone particularly well, hey, at least you got to enjoy the activity.  Almost every group of people that is enthusiastic about an activity is looking for more people to join them, so it's pretty easy to find the equivalent of a "beginner's class" for just about anything, if you just look.
While it's great to have people around who agree with you on politics and philosophy, I think you'll find that for genuine friendship and companionship this isn't really all that necessary (or sufficient, for that matter).  I actually know plenty of people that I agree very strongly with on many issues, yet I cannot STAND them, personally.  I know many people that I disagree with on a large number of issues, but we're quite close.  And every possible degree of shading in between.  I've found in my own life that it's not so much specific shared values that drive the closeness of a relationship (although that's usually how the relationship gets started and how you maintain it, by sharing activities), but a similar APPROACH to those values.  Pretty much all the things that get lumped under the vague heading of "personality" or "sense of life".  So, really, that's it--you'll have more success with meeting people if you . . . go out and meet people.  Yeah, it's a tautology.  But it really does work.

As for your economics studies . . . I am going to give you what is probably going to sound like completely insane advice.  It is not the advice that pretty much anyone else will give you regarding college, but this is based on some HORRIBLE experiences of my own and those of many of my friends, so LISTEN UP.

DO NOT pick your major in college based on what you enjoy learning/reading about.  If you don't have a particular educational goal in mind re: college, DON'T GO AT ALL.  Get a job, ANY job, instead, and cultivate your JOB SKILLS.  Meet people who are successful in their positions and cultivate your relationship with them.  I don't mean be a suckup.  I mean, talk to them, learn what they know that lets them do what they do, study their personal behavior.  It doesn't hurt to be friendly because they may be able to give you a line on an opportunity or three, but don't depend on that.
Once you have some kind of notion of what you do and don't want to do CAREER-wise, THEN it's time to start looking at educational opportunities, and it's very important to keep in mind that what you are making here is a FINANCIAL INVESTMENT.  You are looking to get value out of this, and most college courses are INSANELY overpriced at present.  Don't disdain vocational training or local community colleges--the value they offer for the amount of money you have to spend is often much, much better than anything else you'll find.  Don't spend more money than you have to and pay cash if you can.  If you can manage to live with your parents or a roommate or otherwise save money on housing and other living expenses, do so.  You're not being a "parasite", you are building your future.  The more money you can save in the beginning, the better off you will be later on.  Borrowing money at this stage in your life is like putting an anchor on a leaky rowboat.  You're not even all that sure you can float your own weight, much less that great heavy mass.

Ultimately my educational advice is that if you're going to be spending money on it, you need to be absolutely as cold-blooded as Midas Mulligan in how you treat the transaction.  Be a total hardass and DEMAND your money's worth, because this stuff is EXPENSIVE.  Aside from a house, a college education is probably the most expensive single thing you'll ever buy in your life (and maybe even MORE expensive than that house, in some cases).  Would you buy a house based on liking the looks of it?  No.  Would you buy a car because it has a nice paint job?  Heck no.  Don't stumble into an educational decision.  And don't listen to the educational advisors who insist that "you can change majors later".  Sure, you can, but remember that their job is to SELL YOU COLLEGE.  Treat them like what they are, salespeople, and question whether you need what they're selling AT ALL.  Then be prepared to walk away from that deal if you aren't sure what you want or aren't getting it.
You will save yourself SO much grief later on in life.  And also, once you're firm in your mind about what you want to get out of college, you will have the motivation you need to sweat it out even if the program is filled with poncy twits.  So, if the thought of poncy twits in your program is worrying you, that's a good sign that it's not something you want to plunge into right now.  You have other options.  College is not some kind of way of putting off adulthood.  It is jumping in head-first without bothering to check how deep the water is.

There are two kinds of logic, deductive and inductive. Deduction is largely tautological: you can manipulate existing data but you cannot discover new truths (as in Socratic syllogisms). Looking at reality to determine an "is" is induction.

Furthermore, the choice to live is NOT an axiom of the Objectivist ethics; there are no ethical axioms, since ethics is a derived branch of philosophy. Ethics is a guide to living. An ethics that did not, in fact, guide you in some method for living would be a contradiction of terms. This is why ethics only applies to the living, and since you have volition, the fact of your continued existence is open to your choice. If it were not, you would not require a guide in order to live (you would do so automatically), and ethics would, again, not apply to you.

This is why Ayn Rand said that nature presents us with a great many "oughts", all of them conditional: IF you want to live, then you OUGHT to eat. If you want to eat, you ought to work. And so on. However, "want to live" is not the "is" here, it is the condition. The fact that you have to eat in order to live is the pertinant fact of reality (the "is"); it is not subject to any of your whims, feelings, etc. It simply is. No matter what you do, you will not be able to alter the fact that your life requires sustenance. However, you can alter whether you continue in existence or not by whether you behave according to the demands of this fact.

That is how you derive ought from is. Those who call this a dichotomy of some kind are, in effect, saying that men don't actually require food in order to live; men can live in any manner whatsoever and reality is malleable to anyone's whim.

So, time to kick off this Advice thing.  If you have a question for me--specific and personal are best--throw it out there and I'll answer it as best I can (eventually).  I don't pretend to be an expert on anything in particular, so what's the point of this exercise, you may ask?  It's really for me to do my best to show *how* I arrive at my notions.  Why is this instructive or of any value?  Because the hardest part of answering any particular issue about life is in deciding what is and isn't *essential*.  You have to go from the particular (your problem) to the abstract (the essential principles involved) to the particular (the application of that principle).  This is a process that must be practiced.  A lot.  It is CRUCIAL to understanding and applying Objectivism because the connection between the particular and the abstract is THE fundamental, defining factor of the philosophy.  So the purpose, as I see it, of this advice forum is NOT the value of the SPECIFIC advice (although I do hope that anybody asking a question does at least get SOMETHING out of it), but by trying to illustrate this process of concretization and abstraction as much as possible.  So, our first question:

Dear Jenni

This year I turned 30, and loved it. Every year I feel better about myself and happier to keep on living. Each passing year seems to open up the world in broader ways than the year before -- I learn more, and inevitably recognize more how little I actually know, which has the effect of making the world seem more full of opportunity.

But, starting around age 28, my body began making me notice it. Jump off a 3ft.-something, and there's a sharp pain back there, which doesn't go away for four days. Aren't sleeping tonight? Good luck recovering from that in less than a week. Wtf is this splitting pain in my skull? Oh, sure glad that went away as mysteriously as it appeared... six weeks later. Etc.

Now I have this conflict and dichotomy where I'm increasingly excited about living, while growing more and more uneasy (legitimately afraid?) about my apparent impending body breakdown. Ironically, I was born with a gimp heart which needed two operations. But, it never impeded my life, so I never thought of myself as deficient -- until The Pains started coming two years ago.

Is my fear realistic? Should I accept or even be glad for my uneasiness about it? I don't feel glad about it. I think there's something I'm missing in my view of mortality, or something else?
 
--JASKN
 
So, to start us off, I'm going to summarize this question as essentially asking: "This aging and death thing, how should one feel about it?"  In my experience, everyone has awareness of mortality more or less forced on them at some point in their lives.  How exactly this happens (heart operations, physical pains, in my case a horrible movie I saw when I was 11) may have some personal importance but isn't really essential to the overall issue at hand, which amounts to a realization that the decay and end of one's existence, while inevitable, isn't exactly something that anyone could realistically anticipate with any enjoyment. This is an interesting question (and, I think, a good one to kick this off) because fear or dread of mortality is something that I have a rich (if that term applies to something so unpleasant) and varied experience with.  I'll get to my more poetic expressions that I find the most helpful in dark moments in favor of a more analytical approach at first, in keeping with my ideas for this "Ask Jenni" business.
 
So, the very first thing to do when applying one's analytical powers to a subject should always be to ask, what are the facts of the matter?  Which is always a great excuse to produce a list.  Note that this is not intended to be an *exhaustive* list, just an *illustrative* one.  So, some facts on aging/death (which JASKN has pretty much already supplied):
 
1.  It's inevitable.
 
2.  It diminishes or even completely removes one's capacities for action.
 
3.  Much of one's joie de vivre is dependent upon one's capacity for action.
 
Well, put that way, it sounds kind of grim, but I want to submit a fourth (and, I think, significant) fact for your consideration:
 
4.  Fretting oneself about things one can't change only has the effect of destroying the capacities and enjoyments one still has, making one grumpy, crotchety, miserable, unpleasant, and possibly even hastening said inevitable decay and demise.
 
So, in short, the principle this falls under is basically: "you can't do anything (ultimately) about it, fretting makes it worse, so the only thing to do is to toss it out of your list of things to worry about and get on with your life".
 
So, there's the analytical bit taken care of.  Clearly I have fixed everything.  Well, no, because an important factor remains that affects one's life but that the analytical bit *doesn't* dispense with, because fretting about something is an *emotional* response, and like all emotional responses cannot simply be turned off--not even if you know they're ridiculous.  Maybe even especially if you know they're ridiculous.  You can toss it out again and again (getting madder and madder at yourself each time), but until you resolve the underlying conflict it's going to pop right back up again.  Of course, this is also where things start getting kind of fuzzy.  But here's (some of) my perspective, and I hope it helps:
 
I suspect this kind of anxiety ultimately derives from a subtle mental habit of viewing life and death (or youth and age) as a trade-off, as if they were options on a bargaining table.  If you're viewing them (even very slightly) in that way, getting older seems like one heck of a lousy deal.  Youth gets all the good stuff, and old age gets maybe that wisdom thing.  Unless, of course you go senile.  In reality, though, that is *not* the trade that life offers to you.  It's not a question of "I can be young and awesome, or I can be old and suck", but between "I can get older and enjoy it as best I can, or I can just die now and miss out on something awesome".  Staying young isn't on the table.  Not dying at all isn't on the table. To view things with equanimity, whenever that feeling of worry or dread comes up, remember the deal that is *really* on the table, not the one you would *like* to be on the table.  It won't fix everything instantly.  You may never *entirely* reach some kind of Buddha-like state where the anxiety never impinges on you again, but what happens is that you develop practice at facing the fear head-on, seeing it for what it really is, and letting it go so you can hurry up and get back to the awesome.  And, like anything, practice makes it easier.
 
 

So, time to kick off this Advice thing.  If you have a question for me--specific and personal are best--throw it out there and I'll answer it as best I can (eventually).  I don't pretend to be an expert on anything in particular, so what's the point of this exercise, you may ask?  It's really for me to do my best to show *how* I arrive at my notions.  Why is this instructive or of any value?  Because the hardest part of answering any particular issue about life is in deciding what is and isn't *essential*.  You have to go from the particular (your problem) to the abstract (the essential principles involved) to the particular (the application of that principle).  This is a process that must be practiced.  A lot.  It is CRUCIAL to understanding and applying Objectivism because the connection between the particular and the abstract is THE fundamental, defining factor of the philosophy.  So the purpose, as I see it, of this advice forum is NOT the value of the SPECIFIC advice (although I do hope that anybody asking a question does at least get SOMETHING out of it), but by trying to illustrate this process of concretization and abstraction as much as possible.  So, our first question:

Dear Jenni

This year I turned 30, and loved it. Every year I feel better about myself and happier to keep on living. Each passing year seems to open up the world in broader ways than the year before -- I learn more, and inevitably recognize more how little I actually know, which has the effect of making the world seem more full of opportunity.

But, starting around age 28, my body began making me notice it. Jump off a 3ft.-something, and there's a sharp pain back there, which doesn't go away for four days. Aren't sleeping tonight? Good luck recovering from that in less than a week. Wtf is this splitting pain in my skull? Oh, sure glad that went away as mysteriously as it appeared... six weeks later. Etc.

Now I have this conflict and dichotomy where I'm increasingly excited about living, while growing more and more uneasy (legitimately afraid?) about my apparent impending body breakdown. Ironically, I was born with a gimp heart which needed two operations. But, it never impeded my life, so I never thought of myself as deficient -- until The Pains started coming two years ago.

Is my fear realistic? Should I accept or even be glad for my uneasiness about it? I don't feel glad about it. I think there's something I'm missing in my view of mortality, or something else?
 
--JASKN
 
So, to start us off, I'm going to summarize this question as essentially asking: "This aging and death thing, how should one feel about it?"  In my experience, everyone has awareness of mortality more or less forced on them at some point in their lives.  How exactly this happens (heart operations, physical pains, in my case a horrible movie I saw when I was 11) may have some personal importance but isn't really essential to the overall issue at hand, which amounts to a realization that the decay and end of one's existence, while inevitable, isn't exactly something that anyone could realistically anticipate with any enjoyment. This is an interesting question (and, I think, a good one to kick this off) because fear or dread of mortality is something that I have a rich (if that term applies to something so unpleasant) and varied experience with.  I'll get to my more poetic expressions that I find the most helpful in dark moments in favor of a more analytical approach at first, in keeping with my ideas for this "Ask Jenni" business.
 
So, the very first thing to do when applying one's analytical powers to a subject should always be to ask, what are the facts of the matter?  Which is always a great excuse to produce a list.  Note that this is not intended to be an *exhaustive* list, just an *illustrative* one.  So, some facts on aging/death (which JASKN has pretty much already supplied):
 
1.  It's inevitable.
 
2.  It diminishes or even completely removes one's capacities for action.
 
3.  Much of one's joie de vivre is dependent upon one's capacity for action.
 
Well, put that way, it sounds kind of grim, but I want to submit a fourth (and, I think, significant) fact for your consideration:
 
4.  Fretting oneself about things one can't change only has the effect of destroying the capacities and enjoyments one still has, making one grumpy, crotchety, miserable, unpleasant, and possibly even hastening said inevitable decay and demise.
 
So, in short, the principle this falls under is basically: "you can't do anything (ultimately) about it, fretting makes it worse, so the only thing to do is to toss it out of your list of things to worry about and get on with your life".
 
So, there's the analytical bit taken care of.  Clearly I have fixed everything.  Well, no, because an important factor remains that affects one's life but that the analytical bit *doesn't* dispense with, because fretting about something is an *emotional* response, and like all emotional responses cannot simply be turned off--not even if you know they're ridiculous.  Maybe even especially if you know they're ridiculous.  You can toss it out again and again (getting madder and madder at yourself each time), but until you resolve the underlying conflict it's going to pop right back up again.  Of course, this is also where things start getting kind of fuzzy.  But here's (some of) my perspective, and I hope it helps:
 
I suspect this kind of anxiety ultimately derives from a subtle mental habit of viewing life and death (or youth and age) as a trade-off, as if they were options on a bargaining table.  If you're viewing them (even very slightly) in that way, getting older seems like one heck of a lousy deal.  Youth gets all the good stuff, and old age gets maybe that wisdom thing.  Unless, of course you go senile.  In reality, though, that is *not* the trade that life offers to you.  It's not a question of "I can be young and awesome, or I can be old and suck", but between "I can get older and enjoy it as best I can, or I can just die now and miss out on something awesome".  Staying young isn't on the table.  Not dying at all isn't on the table. To view things with equanimity, whenever that feeling of worry or dread comes up, remember the deal that is *really* on the table, not the one you would *like* to be on the table.  It won't fix everything instantly.  You may never *entirely* reach some kind of Buddha-like state where the anxiety never impinges on you again, but what happens is that you develop practice at facing the fear head-on, seeing it for what it really is, and letting it go so you can hurry up and get back to the awesome.  And, like anything, practice makes it easier.
 
 

Time for another question!

"How can I best deal with friends or even romantic partners with low self-esteem who are still a positive value? The type of low self-esteem I'm talking about is where the person has periods of reclusiveness and are difficult for me to talk to, and express reasons that look like low self-esteem." -- Louie
 
So, if I'm understanding this correctly, you're talking about someone who talks down about themselves or is excessively self-deprecating, and that annoys you and otherwise undermines what would be a positive relationship?
 
Well, like the previous question, there are a couple of things to consider here.  So, let's make a list:
 
Firstly, in order to deal with other people the very first thing it's necessary to realize is what does and doesn't fall under your, I guess, sphere of authority.  Self-esteem issues are emotional issues, and it's not anybody's place to even attempt to dictate to their friends or romantic partners what they should feel about ANYTHING, much less something as complex as how they should feel about THEMSELVES.  I reinforce this point not because I think you're trying to be a dictator, but because the only way for YOU to deal rationally and kindly with this problem is for YOU to understand, all the way down to your bones, that it is NOT your business or responsibility in ANY way.   You may love them to pieces and wish them all the happiness in the world; it may drive you absolutely friggin' insane to watch them churning over this nonsense, but that means SQUAT.  You are not the authority here.  I've found that this is a problem for a lot of people, particularly for those of the young and male persuasions, who also have a tendency to declare "I can't fix it, huh?  So I should just give up and dump them as a hopeless sad sack not worth my time?"  NO.  You should just realize that it's not ON you to fix it.  Think of it like visiting a friend with lower standards of tidiness than yours.  You wouldn't go on some kind of holier-than-thou crusade and try to force them to wash their dishes--that would be both disrespectful and unkind.  If someone genuinely has low self-esteem, you can't guilt them or argue them out of it, anyway.  It'll just be that much more fuel on the fire.  So focus on being respectful and kind and don't worry about the rest.
 
Number Two (heh), it's possible that this person or persons is/are simply of an introverted personality type.  Goodness knows I may as well be an expert on that (and it's probably the only thing I AM an expert on).  Social burnout is a very real problem and it's not uncommon for people to experience it as a kind of anxiety and depression that leads them to sound extremely low on themselves when they simply need some alone time.  In that case, giving them some space is all you really need to do.  That doesn't mean you have to stop inviting them to be part of your life, by all means, invite away--you never know when they'll suddenly decide that Social Butterfly sounds like a great activity.  I'm well aware that it gets annoying as heck for people to invite and invite and invite and hear nothing but no no no or (also typical) yes followed by a last-minute cancellation.  You start to feel like you're the only one doing any dang work in this relationship, grumble grumble.  And you're not wrong--if you're the more extroverted one, you will probably wind up doing the lion's share of the work/planning toward the goal of actually spending time with your more introverted friend.  Is that fair?  Not really.  All you can really do is just decide not to let it bother you and just keep on periodically announcing "hey, I'm over here, ready for social interaction!" at periodic intervals.
 
And Third, here's the bit where you can actually DO something.  Hope it was worth the wait.  If someone GENUINELY does have a real self-esteem problem, one thing you CAN do to help them out without trying to launch some version of a mental takeover is to simply be scrupulously honest with them at all times.  This is a great habit to get into because it's good for you, as well.  If they do something praiseworthy, praise them.  If they do something that annoys or upset you, just tell them "I'm annoyed/upset".  Don't try to overwhelm them with the evidence of your emotions--trust me, just saying "I'm annoyed" in a calm, level way is MORE than enough.  One of the biggest issues with low self-esteem is that most of us are surrounded by people who are always desperate to fix us so we lose all ability to even guess at our legitimate claims to worth/worthlessness.  We can't judge ourselves properly, and the people around us are always LYING and either telling us (falsely) that we are awesome or loading us down with guilt until we can barely stand, because they think that this "tough love" is going to make us get off our butts and do something productive.  Just BE HONEST.  Be secure in yourself, focus on yourself, judge them with calm rationality, don't treat praise and blame like the tools you use to reform a poor sinner.  They may surprise you. 

Time for another question!

"How can I best deal with friends or even romantic partners with low self-esteem who are still a positive value? The type of low self-esteem I'm talking about is where the person has periods of reclusiveness and are difficult for me to talk to, and express reasons that look like low self-esteem." -- Louie
 
So, if I'm understanding this correctly, you're talking about someone who talks down about themselves or is excessively self-deprecating, and that annoys you and otherwise undermines what would be a positive relationship?
 
Well, like the previous question, there are a couple of things to consider here.  So, let's make a list:
 
Firstly, in order to deal with other people the very first thing it's necessary to realize is what does and doesn't fall under your, I guess, sphere of authority.  Self-esteem issues are emotional issues, and it's not anybody's place to even attempt to dictate to their friends or romantic partners what they should feel about ANYTHING, much less something as complex as how they should feel about THEMSELVES.  I reinforce this point not because I think you're trying to be a dictator, but because the only way for YOU to deal rationally and kindly with this problem is for YOU to understand, all the way down to your bones, that it is NOT your business or responsibility in ANY way.   You may love them to pieces and wish them all the happiness in the world; it may drive you absolutely friggin' insane to watch them churning over this nonsense, but that means SQUAT.  You are not the authority here.  I've found that this is a problem for a lot of people, particularly for those of the young and male persuasions, who also have a tendency to declare "I can't fix it, huh?  So I should just give up and dump them as a hopeless sad sack not worth my time?"  NO.  You should just realize that it's not ON you to fix it.  Think of it like visiting a friend with lower standards of tidiness than yours.  You wouldn't go on some kind of holier-than-thou crusade and try to force them to wash their dishes--that would be both disrespectful and unkind.  If someone genuinely has low self-esteem, you can't guilt them or argue them out of it, anyway.  It'll just be that much more fuel on the fire.  So focus on being respectful and kind and don't worry about the rest.
 
Number Two (heh), it's possible that this person or persons is/are simply of an introverted personality type.  Goodness knows I may as well be an expert on that (and it's probably the only thing I AM an expert on).  Social burnout is a very real problem and it's not uncommon for people to experience it as a kind of anxiety and depression that leads them to sound extremely low on themselves when they simply need some alone time.  In that case, giving them some space is all you really need to do.  That doesn't mean you have to stop inviting them to be part of your life, by all means, invite away--you never know when they'll suddenly decide that Social Butterfly sounds like a great activity.  I'm well aware that it gets annoying as heck for people to invite and invite and invite and hear nothing but no no no or (also typical) yes followed by a last-minute cancellation.  You start to feel like you're the only one doing any dang work in this relationship, grumble grumble.  And you're not wrong--if you're the more extroverted one, you will probably wind up doing the lion's share of the work/planning toward the goal of actually spending time with your more introverted friend.  Is that fair?  Not really.  All you can really do is just decide not to let it bother you and just keep on periodically announcing "hey, I'm over here, ready for social interaction!" at periodic intervals.
 
And Third, here's the bit where you can actually DO something.  Hope it was worth the wait.  If someone GENUINELY does have a real self-esteem problem, one thing you CAN do to help them out without trying to launch some version of a mental takeover is to simply be scrupulously honest with them at all times.  This is a great habit to get into because it's good for you, as well.  If they do something praiseworthy, praise them.  If they do something that annoys or upset you, just tell them "I'm annoyed/upset".  Don't try to overwhelm them with the evidence of your emotions--trust me, just saying "I'm annoyed" in a calm, level way is MORE than enough.  One of the biggest issues with low self-esteem is that most of us are surrounded by people who are always desperate to fix us so we lose all ability to even guess at our legitimate claims to worth/worthlessness.  We can't judge ourselves properly, and the people around us are always LYING and either telling us (falsely) that we are awesome or loading us down with guilt until we can barely stand, because they think that this "tough love" is going to make us get off our butts and do something productive.  Just BE HONEST.  Be secure in yourself, focus on yourself, judge them with calm rationality, don't treat praise and blame like the tools you use to reform a poor sinner.  They may surprise you. 

Time for another question!

"How can I best deal with friends or even romantic partners with low self-esteem who are still a positive value? The type of low self-esteem I'm talking about is where the person has periods of reclusiveness and are difficult for me to talk to, and express reasons that look like low self-esteem." -- Louie
 
So, if I'm understanding this correctly, you're talking about someone who talks down about themselves or is excessively self-deprecating, and that annoys you and otherwise undermines what would be a positive relationship?
 
Well, like the previous question, there are a couple of things to consider here.  So, let's make a list:
 
Firstly, in order to deal with other people the very first thing it's necessary to realize is what does and doesn't fall under your, I guess, sphere of authority.  Self-esteem issues are emotional issues, and it's not anybody's place to even attempt to dictate to their friends or romantic partners what they should feel about ANYTHING, much less something as complex as how they should feel about THEMSELVES.  I reinforce this point not because I think you're trying to be a dictator, but because the only way for YOU to deal rationally and kindly with this problem is for YOU to understand, all the way down to your bones, that it is NOT your business or responsibility in ANY way.   You may love them to pieces and wish them all the happiness in the world; it may drive you absolutely friggin' insane to watch them churning over this nonsense, but that means SQUAT.  You are not the authority here.  I've found that this is a problem for a lot of people, particularly for those of the young and male persuasions, who also have a tendency to declare "I can't fix it, huh?  So I should just give up and dump them as a hopeless sad sack not worth my time?"  NO.  You should just realize that it's not ON you to fix it.  Think of it like visiting a friend with lower standards of tidiness than yours.  You wouldn't go on some kind of holier-than-thou crusade and try to force them to wash their dishes--that would be both disrespectful and unkind.  If someone genuinely has low self-esteem, you can't guilt them or argue them out of it, anyway.  It'll just be that much more fuel on the fire.  So focus on being respectful and kind and don't worry about the rest.
 
Number Two (heh), it's possible that this person or persons is/are simply of an introverted personality type.  Goodness knows I may as well be an expert on that (and it's probably the only thing I AM an expert on).  Social burnout is a very real problem and it's not uncommon for people to experience it as a kind of anxiety and depression that leads them to sound extremely low on themselves when they simply need some alone time.  In that case, giving them some space is all you really need to do.  That doesn't mean you have to stop inviting them to be part of your life, by all means, invite away--you never know when they'll suddenly decide that Social Butterfly sounds like a great activity.  I'm well aware that it gets annoying as heck for people to invite and invite and invite and hear nothing but no no no or (also typical) yes followed by a last-minute cancellation.  You start to feel like you're the only one doing any dang work in this relationship, grumble grumble.  And you're not wrong--if you're the more extroverted one, you will probably wind up doing the lion's share of the work/planning toward the goal of actually spending time with your more introverted friend.  Is that fair?  Not really.  All you can really do is just decide not to let it bother you and just keep on periodically announcing "hey, I'm over here, ready for social interaction!" at periodic intervals.
 
And Third, here's the bit where you can actually DO something.  Hope it was worth the wait.  If someone GENUINELY does have a real self-esteem problem, one thing you CAN do to help them out without trying to launch some version of a mental takeover is to simply be scrupulously honest with them at all times.  This is a great habit to get into because it's good for you, as well.  If they do something praiseworthy, praise them.  If they do something that annoys or upset you, just tell them "I'm annoyed/upset".  Don't try to overwhelm them with the evidence of your emotions--trust me, just saying "I'm annoyed" in a calm, level way is MORE than enough.  One of the biggest issues with low self-esteem is that most of us are surrounded by people who are always desperate to fix us so we lose all ability to even guess at our legitimate claims to worth/worthlessness.  We can't judge ourselves properly, and the people around us are always LYING and either telling us (falsely) that we are awesome or loading us down with guilt until we can barely stand, because they think that this "tough love" is going to make us get off our butts and do something productive.  Just BE HONEST.  Be secure in yourself, focus on yourself, judge them with calm rationality, don't treat praise and blame like the tools you use to reform a poor sinner.  They may surprise you. 

There are already a number of threads on very similar topics if you want to search for them. However, why did John Galt have an obligation to save anyone? And why are you assuming Eddie Willers wanted to be saved? By his own words, he didn't want to start over. He believed that Dagny did and should, but he did not.

In reading Atlas Shrugged, it's important to understand that it's a work of fiction. The fates of Eddie Willers and Cheryl Taggart aren't meant to be "realistic" or prescriptive of how to treat honest, average people, they are meant to dramatize and illustrate the logical fate of the honest, average man and woman in a world where man's mind has gone on strike. Ayn Rand wasn't indicating that they *deserved* to die or be abandoned or anything like that--it is precisely the fact that they *don't* deserve the horrors they suffer through that makes it so tragic.

There are already a number of threads on very similar topics if you want to search for them. However, why did John Galt have an obligation to save anyone? And why are you assuming Eddie Willers wanted to be saved? By his own words, he didn't want to start over. He believed that Dagny did and should, but he did not.

In reading Atlas Shrugged, it's important to understand that it's a work of fiction. The fates of Eddie Willers and Cheryl Taggart aren't meant to be "realistic" or prescriptive of how to treat honest, average people, they are meant to dramatize and illustrate the logical fate of the honest, average man and woman in a world where man's mind has gone on strike. Ayn Rand wasn't indicating that they *deserved* to die or be abandoned or anything like that--it is precisely the fact that they *don't* deserve the horrors they suffer through that makes it so tragic.

So, time to kick off this Advice thing.  If you have a question for me--specific and personal are best--throw it out there and I'll answer it as best I can (eventually).  I don't pretend to be an expert on anything in particular, so what's the point of this exercise, you may ask?  It's really for me to do my best to show *how* I arrive at my notions.  Why is this instructive or of any value?  Because the hardest part of answering any particular issue about life is in deciding what is and isn't *essential*.  You have to go from the particular (your problem) to the abstract (the essential principles involved) to the particular (the application of that principle).  This is a process that must be practiced.  A lot.  It is CRUCIAL to understanding and applying Objectivism because the connection between the particular and the abstract is THE fundamental, defining factor of the philosophy.  So the purpose, as I see it, of this advice forum is NOT the value of the SPECIFIC advice (although I do hope that anybody asking a question does at least get SOMETHING out of it), but by trying to illustrate this process of concretization and abstraction as much as possible.  So, our first question:

Dear Jenni

This year I turned 30, and loved it. Every year I feel better about myself and happier to keep on living. Each passing year seems to open up the world in broader ways than the year before -- I learn more, and inevitably recognize more how little I actually know, which has the effect of making the world seem more full of opportunity.

But, starting around age 28, my body began making me notice it. Jump off a 3ft.-something, and there's a sharp pain back there, which doesn't go away for four days. Aren't sleeping tonight? Good luck recovering from that in less than a week. Wtf is this splitting pain in my skull? Oh, sure glad that went away as mysteriously as it appeared... six weeks later. Etc.

Now I have this conflict and dichotomy where I'm increasingly excited about living, while growing more and more uneasy (legitimately afraid?) about my apparent impending body breakdown. Ironically, I was born with a gimp heart which needed two operations. But, it never impeded my life, so I never thought of myself as deficient -- until The Pains started coming two years ago.

Is my fear realistic? Should I accept or even be glad for my uneasiness about it? I don't feel glad about it. I think there's something I'm missing in my view of mortality, or something else?
 
--JASKN
 
So, to start us off, I'm going to summarize this question as essentially asking: "This aging and death thing, how should one feel about it?"  In my experience, everyone has awareness of mortality more or less forced on them at some point in their lives.  How exactly this happens (heart operations, physical pains, in my case a horrible movie I saw when I was 11) may have some personal importance but isn't really essential to the overall issue at hand, which amounts to a realization that the decay and end of one's existence, while inevitable, isn't exactly something that anyone could realistically anticipate with any enjoyment. This is an interesting question (and, I think, a good one to kick this off) because fear or dread of mortality is something that I have a rich (if that term applies to something so unpleasant) and varied experience with.  I'll get to my more poetic expressions that I find the most helpful in dark moments in favor of a more analytical approach at first, in keeping with my ideas for this "Ask Jenni" business.
 
So, the very first thing to do when applying one's analytical powers to a subject should always be to ask, what are the facts of the matter?  Which is always a great excuse to produce a list.  Note that this is not intended to be an *exhaustive* list, just an *illustrative* one.  So, some facts on aging/death (which JASKN has pretty much already supplied):
 
1.  It's inevitable.
 
2.  It diminishes or even completely removes one's capacities for action.
 
3.  Much of one's joie de vivre is dependent upon one's capacity for action.
 
Well, put that way, it sounds kind of grim, but I want to submit a fourth (and, I think, significant) fact for your consideration:
 
4.  Fretting oneself about things one can't change only has the effect of destroying the capacities and enjoyments one still has, making one grumpy, crotchety, miserable, unpleasant, and possibly even hastening said inevitable decay and demise.
 
So, in short, the principle this falls under is basically: "you can't do anything (ultimately) about it, fretting makes it worse, so the only thing to do is to toss it out of your list of things to worry about and get on with your life".
 
So, there's the analytical bit taken care of.  Clearly I have fixed everything.  Well, no, because an important factor remains that affects one's life but that the analytical bit *doesn't* dispense with, because fretting about something is an *emotional* response, and like all emotional responses cannot simply be turned off--not even if you know they're ridiculous.  Maybe even especially if you know they're ridiculous.  You can toss it out again and again (getting madder and madder at yourself each time), but until you resolve the underlying conflict it's going to pop right back up again.  Of course, this is also where things start getting kind of fuzzy.  But here's (some of) my perspective, and I hope it helps:
 
I suspect this kind of anxiety ultimately derives from a subtle mental habit of viewing life and death (or youth and age) as a trade-off, as if they were options on a bargaining table.  If you're viewing them (even very slightly) in that way, getting older seems like one heck of a lousy deal.  Youth gets all the good stuff, and old age gets maybe that wisdom thing.  Unless, of course you go senile.  In reality, though, that is *not* the trade that life offers to you.  It's not a question of "I can be young and awesome, or I can be old and suck", but between "I can get older and enjoy it as best I can, or I can just die now and miss out on something awesome".  Staying young isn't on the table.  Not dying at all isn't on the table. To view things with equanimity, whenever that feeling of worry or dread comes up, remember the deal that is *really* on the table, not the one you would *like* to be on the table.  It won't fix everything instantly.  You may never *entirely* reach some kind of Buddha-like state where the anxiety never impinges on you again, but what happens is that you develop practice at facing the fear head-on, seeing it for what it really is, and letting it go so you can hurry up and get back to the awesome.  And, like anything, practice makes it easier.
 
 

So, time to kick off this Advice thing.  If you have a question for me--specific and personal are best--throw it out there and I'll answer it as best I can (eventually).  I don't pretend to be an expert on anything in particular, so what's the point of this exercise, you may ask?  It's really for me to do my best to show *how* I arrive at my notions.  Why is this instructive or of any value?  Because the hardest part of answering any particular issue about life is in deciding what is and isn't *essential*.  You have to go from the particular (your problem) to the abstract (the essential principles involved) to the particular (the application of that principle).  This is a process that must be practiced.  A lot.  It is CRUCIAL to understanding and applying Objectivism because the connection between the particular and the abstract is THE fundamental, defining factor of the philosophy.  So the purpose, as I see it, of this advice forum is NOT the value of the SPECIFIC advice (although I do hope that anybody asking a question does at least get SOMETHING out of it), but by trying to illustrate this process of concretization and abstraction as much as possible.  So, our first question:

Dear Jenni

This year I turned 30, and loved it. Every year I feel better about myself and happier to keep on living. Each passing year seems to open up the world in broader ways than the year before -- I learn more, and inevitably recognize more how little I actually know, which has the effect of making the world seem more full of opportunity.

But, starting around age 28, my body began making me notice it. Jump off a 3ft.-something, and there's a sharp pain back there, which doesn't go away for four days. Aren't sleeping tonight? Good luck recovering from that in less than a week. Wtf is this splitting pain in my skull? Oh, sure glad that went away as mysteriously as it appeared... six weeks later. Etc.

Now I have this conflict and dichotomy where I'm increasingly excited about living, while growing more and more uneasy (legitimately afraid?) about my apparent impending body breakdown. Ironically, I was born with a gimp heart which needed two operations. But, it never impeded my life, so I never thought of myself as deficient -- until The Pains started coming two years ago.

Is my fear realistic? Should I accept or even be glad for my uneasiness about it? I don't feel glad about it. I think there's something I'm missing in my view of mortality, or something else?
 
--JASKN
 
So, to start us off, I'm going to summarize this question as essentially asking: "This aging and death thing, how should one feel about it?"  In my experience, everyone has awareness of mortality more or less forced on them at some point in their lives.  How exactly this happens (heart operations, physical pains, in my case a horrible movie I saw when I was 11) may have some personal importance but isn't really essential to the overall issue at hand, which amounts to a realization that the decay and end of one's existence, while inevitable, isn't exactly something that anyone could realistically anticipate with any enjoyment. This is an interesting question (and, I think, a good one to kick this off) because fear or dread of mortality is something that I have a rich (if that term applies to something so unpleasant) and varied experience with.  I'll get to my more poetic expressions that I find the most helpful in dark moments in favor of a more analytical approach at first, in keeping with my ideas for this "Ask Jenni" business.
 
So, the very first thing to do when applying one's analytical powers to a subject should always be to ask, what are the facts of the matter?  Which is always a great excuse to produce a list.  Note that this is not intended to be an *exhaustive* list, just an *illustrative* one.  So, some facts on aging/death (which JASKN has pretty much already supplied):
 
1.  It's inevitable.
 
2.  It diminishes or even completely removes one's capacities for action.
 
3.  Much of one's joie de vivre is dependent upon one's capacity for action.
 
Well, put that way, it sounds kind of grim, but I want to submit a fourth (and, I think, significant) fact for your consideration:
 
4.  Fretting oneself about things one can't change only has the effect of destroying the capacities and enjoyments one still has, making one grumpy, crotchety, miserable, unpleasant, and possibly even hastening said inevitable decay and demise.
 
So, in short, the principle this falls under is basically: "you can't do anything (ultimately) about it, fretting makes it worse, so the only thing to do is to toss it out of your list of things to worry about and get on with your life".
 
So, there's the analytical bit taken care of.  Clearly I have fixed everything.  Well, no, because an important factor remains that affects one's life but that the analytical bit *doesn't* dispense with, because fretting about something is an *emotional* response, and like all emotional responses cannot simply be turned off--not even if you know they're ridiculous.  Maybe even especially if you know they're ridiculous.  You can toss it out again and again (getting madder and madder at yourself each time), but until you resolve the underlying conflict it's going to pop right back up again.  Of course, this is also where things start getting kind of fuzzy.  But here's (some of) my perspective, and I hope it helps:
 
I suspect this kind of anxiety ultimately derives from a subtle mental habit of viewing life and death (or youth and age) as a trade-off, as if they were options on a bargaining table.  If you're viewing them (even very slightly) in that way, getting older seems like one heck of a lousy deal.  Youth gets all the good stuff, and old age gets maybe that wisdom thing.  Unless, of course you go senile.  In reality, though, that is *not* the trade that life offers to you.  It's not a question of "I can be young and awesome, or I can be old and suck", but between "I can get older and enjoy it as best I can, or I can just die now and miss out on something awesome".  Staying young isn't on the table.  Not dying at all isn't on the table. To view things with equanimity, whenever that feeling of worry or dread comes up, remember the deal that is *really* on the table, not the one you would *like* to be on the table.  It won't fix everything instantly.  You may never *entirely* reach some kind of Buddha-like state where the anxiety never impinges on you again, but what happens is that you develop practice at facing the fear head-on, seeing it for what it really is, and letting it go so you can hurry up and get back to the awesome.  And, like anything, practice makes it easier.
 
 

So, time to kick off this Advice thing.  If you have a question for me--specific and personal are best--throw it out there and I'll answer it as best I can (eventually).  I don't pretend to be an expert on anything in particular, so what's the point of this exercise, you may ask?  It's really for me to do my best to show *how* I arrive at my notions.  Why is this instructive or of any value?  Because the hardest part of answering any particular issue about life is in deciding what is and isn't *essential*.  You have to go from the particular (your problem) to the abstract (the essential principles involved) to the particular (the application of that principle).  This is a process that must be practiced.  A lot.  It is CRUCIAL to understanding and applying Objectivism because the connection between the particular and the abstract is THE fundamental, defining factor of the philosophy.  So the purpose, as I see it, of this advice forum is NOT the value of the SPECIFIC advice (although I do hope that anybody asking a question does at least get SOMETHING out of it), but by trying to illustrate this process of concretization and abstraction as much as possible.  So, our first question:

Dear Jenni

This year I turned 30, and loved it. Every year I feel better about myself and happier to keep on living. Each passing year seems to open up the world in broader ways than the year before -- I learn more, and inevitably recognize more how little I actually know, which has the effect of making the world seem more full of opportunity.

But, starting around age 28, my body began making me notice it. Jump off a 3ft.-something, and there's a sharp pain back there, which doesn't go away for four days. Aren't sleeping tonight? Good luck recovering from that in less than a week. Wtf is this splitting pain in my skull? Oh, sure glad that went away as mysteriously as it appeared... six weeks later. Etc.

Now I have this conflict and dichotomy where I'm increasingly excited about living, while growing more and more uneasy (legitimately afraid?) about my apparent impending body breakdown. Ironically, I was born with a gimp heart which needed two operations. But, it never impeded my life, so I never thought of myself as deficient -- until The Pains started coming two years ago.

Is my fear realistic? Should I accept or even be glad for my uneasiness about it? I don't feel glad about it. I think there's something I'm missing in my view of mortality, or something else?
 
--JASKN
 
So, to start us off, I'm going to summarize this question as essentially asking: "This aging and death thing, how should one feel about it?"  In my experience, everyone has awareness of mortality more or less forced on them at some point in their lives.  How exactly this happens (heart operations, physical pains, in my case a horrible movie I saw when I was 11) may have some personal importance but isn't really essential to the overall issue at hand, which amounts to a realization that the decay and end of one's existence, while inevitable, isn't exactly something that anyone could realistically anticipate with any enjoyment. This is an interesting question (and, I think, a good one to kick this off) because fear or dread of mortality is something that I have a rich (if that term applies to something so unpleasant) and varied experience with.  I'll get to my more poetic expressions that I find the most helpful in dark moments in favor of a more analytical approach at first, in keeping with my ideas for this "Ask Jenni" business.
 
So, the very first thing to do when applying one's analytical powers to a subject should always be to ask, what are the facts of the matter?  Which is always a great excuse to produce a list.  Note that this is not intended to be an *exhaustive* list, just an *illustrative* one.  So, some facts on aging/death (which JASKN has pretty much already supplied):
 
1.  It's inevitable.
 
2.  It diminishes or even completely removes one's capacities for action.
 
3.  Much of one's joie de vivre is dependent upon one's capacity for action.
 
Well, put that way, it sounds kind of grim, but I want to submit a fourth (and, I think, significant) fact for your consideration:
 
4.  Fretting oneself about things one can't change only has the effect of destroying the capacities and enjoyments one still has, making one grumpy, crotchety, miserable, unpleasant, and possibly even hastening said inevitable decay and demise.
 
So, in short, the principle this falls under is basically: "you can't do anything (ultimately) about it, fretting makes it worse, so the only thing to do is to toss it out of your list of things to worry about and get on with your life".
 
So, there's the analytical bit taken care of.  Clearly I have fixed everything.  Well, no, because an important factor remains that affects one's life but that the analytical bit *doesn't* dispense with, because fretting about something is an *emotional* response, and like all emotional responses cannot simply be turned off--not even if you know they're ridiculous.  Maybe even especially if you know they're ridiculous.  You can toss it out again and again (getting madder and madder at yourself each time), but until you resolve the underlying conflict it's going to pop right back up again.  Of course, this is also where things start getting kind of fuzzy.  But here's (some of) my perspective, and I hope it helps:
 
I suspect this kind of anxiety ultimately derives from a subtle mental habit of viewing life and death (or youth and age) as a trade-off, as if they were options on a bargaining table.  If you're viewing them (even very slightly) in that way, getting older seems like one heck of a lousy deal.  Youth gets all the good stuff, and old age gets maybe that wisdom thing.  Unless, of course you go senile.  In reality, though, that is *not* the trade that life offers to you.  It's not a question of "I can be young and awesome, or I can be old and suck", but between "I can get older and enjoy it as best I can, or I can just die now and miss out on something awesome".  Staying young isn't on the table.  Not dying at all isn't on the table. To view things with equanimity, whenever that feeling of worry or dread comes up, remember the deal that is *really* on the table, not the one you would *like* to be on the table.  It won't fix everything instantly.  You may never *entirely* reach some kind of Buddha-like state where the anxiety never impinges on you again, but what happens is that you develop practice at facing the fear head-on, seeing it for what it really is, and letting it go so you can hurry up and get back to the awesome.  And, like anything, practice makes it easier.
 
 

Loneliness is NOT repeat NOT NOT NOT NOT second-handedness.

A second-hander is not capable of experiencing loneliness. What he feels when he is alone is not that sad, wistful craving, but an abject terror; terror of having to face reality. It is not people he craves (he fears them too, and their strange power to deal with that which he cannot), but escape from reality.

True loneliness is a desire to witness/experience the presence of virtue and capability in another person. To be, for once, not the mover, but the one moved. It is the mental and spiritual refreshment of knowing that there is something out there in the world that is WORTH all this WORK.

It is not GUILT you should experience when you feel an intense craving to see someone else come to share your pinnacle with you! The difference between second and first-handers is not that first-handers feel no desire for other people whatsoever, it is that first-handers want to look UP to them, not DOWN at them.

I used to feel this way a lot (still do, sometimes, but not nearly as much). It's a generalization that you're drawing from the only data you have around--the way you feel about your own activities. You're waiting for the activities to give you a feeling of purpose or satisfaction, and when they don't, you conclude that there is no purpose or satisfaction to be had, and it's all pointless.

The truth is, activities won't give you purpose or satisfaction, so suggestions on the nature of "go do something!" are, in a sense, futile. However, they do have positive effects in that they can help you find your own purpose and satisfaction in a secondary sort of way. A lot of people, when they try to determine what interests them, do this sort of self-meditation where they wrack their brains trying to find some a priori voice that'll tell them, "I love soccer!" or similar. The thing is, you aren't born with interests that are stuffed somewhere in your brain. You *develop* interests by doing things, enjoying them, doing them again, enjoying them more, etc. Most people generally do all of this while they're still young enough that they aren't consciously aware of the process, so when they get to the questioning stage (late teens early twenties), they already know what they like and what they want to pursue, so it's just a matter of examining their mental contents in an orderly fashion to decide which interest is the top interest.

Everyone isn't like that, though. Some people, due to shyness, a compliant personality, whatever, arrive in their late teens early twenties still pretty much unformed. When they start examining themselves, all they find is a void waiting to be filled. They think there's something wrong with them.

There's nothing wrong with you, it's just that you hit the self-conscious phase before you had enough material to work with to form interests. So now, instead of having it happen more-or-less automatically as you grew, you're going to have to build them manually for yourself.

I found that a helpful first step is to say "my purpose, is to find a purpose". It won't fix things for you right away, but it does help to know that feeling no deep attachment to your few interests isn't some kind of hideous psychological flaw. But this statement that you have a purpose even if it isn't a single directed one can help you straighten yourself out.

So, step two is to figure out what will help you find a purpose. Well, clearly if you're going to develop strong interests, you need material to work with. So you need to go and consciously try things. Pursuing more of the interests you already have is good, but don't be afraid to try other things as well. Don't sabotage yourself by over-evaluating and trying to search for some kind of emotional spark WHILE you are doing them, though. You already have a mental habit of suppressing or repressing your emotional connections to people/things. The only thing that will happen if you try to analyze while you're doing is that you will suppress or repress whatever emotional reaction you DO have. So just concentrate on doing it instead of dwelling on how you feel about it. Later, after you've done it a few times, you'll start feeling either that you want to keep doing it, or that you'd prefer to stop. THAT's when you pull out the analysis. But it shouldn't just be a "what am I feeling about this" analysis, you need to ask yourself, "what about this is causing me to feel X"? Maybe you joined a band, you really like playing the music, but you just HATE the bass player so you find you don't want to go to practice any more because that jerk will be there harshing your groove. It's not that you don't "actually" love playing the music--it's that you want a different band. But, if he WASN'T there, you'd totally love to go play your music. Voila, you've discovered your full musical interest! NOW FIND A NEW BAND.

So, yes, you do need to make yourself do stuff. Don't ride yourself too much if you find it difficult, and definitely reward yourself for even the tiniest positive steps. Don't listen to people who tell you what you "ought" to be doing--if you don't know, yourself, they sure as hell can't know. And don't hassle yourself for being different or somehow less worthy than people who happened to pick up their interests more or less by accident when they were younger and not self-critical yet. Yeah, that way sure seems like it would have been a lot nicer, but at least this way you get to form your interests consciously. You won't have a mid-life crisis where you suddenly begin to question what the source of your interests really is. In a way, you're sorting out your mid-life crisis NOW.

And don't fuss yourself over not having friends or people to connect with. The problem is largely that you are currently lacking the kind of material that forms connections. The friends will come once you build up the material. There may not be many, but they'll be much better than the kind of friends you just fall into in high school. It's also not a sin to withdraw from your family. You're busy. You got stuff to build, and sometimes they try to "help" and don't help at all. So if you find them oppressive, tell them, as respectfully as you can manage, that they need to back off and let you do your buildin'. It'll probably be the nastiest, most awkward conversation EVAR, but they'll appreciate it that you told them what was up with you and you'll feel better about your relationship with them. And they may even back off. (Don't expect an instant fix--stay respectful and polite. Stick to your guns, but don't fire.)