Wotan

Cosmic Jihad God gazed down upon the earth. His expression was somber, profound, and inscrutable. He spoke calmly but magnificently. "It is time" said God. "Is it?" said Jesus. "Yes, it is." Jesus glanced at the Creator of the Universe and then looked away. "Are you sure about all this?" God contemplated him dubiously. "You got a hearing problem?" Jesus snorted. "So you're really gonna do it, eh." "Hell, yes." "But is it right?" "Is what right?" Jesus hesitated. "Killing all those people." All those innocents, he thought to himself. "Slaughtering the whole lot of them, practically." Jesus was pale. "Burning them in Hell forever." Despite being the Son of God, he couldn't help but tremble a bit. God glanced at Jesus curiously. "I warned them," said God imperiously. "Did you?" mumured Jesus inaudibly. God looked at him sharply. "Yes, I did." Then God quit the area. Jesus breathed deeply. He also thought deeply. Then he went to meet Satan. "Speak of the devil!" sputtered the Dark Prince in dead astonishment. "Not quite." Jesus was amused. "What the hell...?" Beezelbub hadn't seen the Annoited One in millenia. He was shocked and bewildered. And more than a little afraid. "Just thought I'd stop by for a chat," Jesus explained calmly. "You mind?" "Uh, well, um...No." He paused nervously. "I suppose you're not going to torture and kill me again, are you?" Old Scratch was on the edge of terror. And truly incredulous. He was also completely on his guard. "Torture and kill?" Jesus smiled ironically. "Not this time, pal." "Thank God -- or someone." Satan still eyed him with suspicion. His nerves jangled almost out of control. Jesus didn't notice. The Savior of Mankind -- almost as imperious as his Heavenly Father -- paused a moment to look around. "Nice place you got here, Old Rebel, old buddy." Jesus grinned. Despite the seriousness of the visit, and the misery of the locale, Jesus was rather enjoying himself, as usual. "Kiss my Deceiver's ass, Godboy." Satan was defiant, as usual. Jesus frowned a bit. "Godboy? If only you knew...!" It was obvious to Satan that something was up. The Devil waited. But he really wasn't the patient type. "Look, what do you want?" he blurted. "Out with it!" Jesus pondered still more. Finally he piped up. "You know what's about to go down, don't you?" "Of course I do." "Tell me." Old Scratch looked at the son of God strangely. "You guys are about to send me a whole lotta new paying customers." "Paying?" "Oh yeah. I always make them pay," he said flatly. "That's the deal." Old Deuce waited somewhat resentfully. "But is it a good deal?" "It's a deal," said Beezelbub coolly. "Why do you ask?" Jesus ignored the question. "What else is gonna happen?" Satan contemplated the King of the Jews curiously. He was still quite nervous. "Why, the world is going to end. Ka-Bluu-eey!" After a moment, he sounded off with amusement, "Ke-Bloong-ooo!!" Jesus ignored this lame attempt at humor. Then he turned to him with the most serious look of his entire life. Satan's blood ran cold. "Yeah, Doomsday," Jesus snapped out bitterly. He paused dramatically. "Unless we stop it." Dead silence. No one moved -- or even breathed. They just stared at each other. "What did you say?" whispered Satan. "You got a hearing problem?" "No..." The Lord of the Underworld breathed hard. So did Jesus. "I think it's time we put a stop to this. High time." Jesus looked at him meaningfully. "Us. Together. Now." Satan was stupified. "You're mad." "No, I'm not." "Yes -- you are." "Well, you were once." "Yeah, and look where it got me." "This time it'll get you out," Jesus replied. He looked at his old nemesis profoundly. But Satan just stared back. "Mad," he muttered. But he felt a touch of hope, despite it all. "No, we're not. Now let's get to work." And so they did. The planning wasn't easy -- to say the least. They had to think, scheme, work, and sweat like holy hell. It was like planning to rob Fort Knox. But they worked their resplendent asses off, and moved like greased lightening. Watching out for God non-stop, both grew eyes in the back of their head. But -- at long last -- they got the job done. The plan was perfected and complete. Seemingly. "Rebellion II is ready to roll," said Jesus "I prefer Operation Anti-Christ myself," Satan smirked. "Rebellion II will do," said Jesus tartly. "Well, you do seem to be in charge here." "That's because I'm the most powerful." "So you say." Satan wondered a bit. "And I've got far the most to lose." "So you say." Satan wondered a bit more. "Do you doubt me?" Jesus was indignant. "Me? Of course not! No way! Why would I doubt you? Just 'cuz your daddy unceremoniously booted me out of Heaven, and sent me to god-damned hellacious Hell, forever and ever..." "Well, we're gonna fix that." Jesus was a tad exasperated. "Do you doubt the plan?" he insisted. "Hell, no! Most certainly not! Just 'cuz we're planning to rebel against God Almighty -- God-all-freaking-Mighty...! Why would I ever have doubts about that?" The ruler of Hell panted. He had a point. Make that two. "Well, it is a bit audacious," Jesus admitted. "Just a bit!" "But the old man is ripe for the plucking." He paused a moment. "I said 'plucking.'" Satan chuckled. "Besides -- it's now or never!" "True dat." "Let's roll!" "Rock 'n' roll, baby!" The odd-couple allies were psyched. Or doomed. So the two new buddies set about overthrowing the Kingdom of God. Of course -- God found out about it. He's God. The Lord of the Heaven and the Earth confronted the two malefacors. But he was really and truly and absolutely amazed. He thundered furiously, "What in the name of Holy Hell do you two miserable stinking bastards even think you think you're about to be doing?" Satan was petrified beyond description. He'd dared the wrath of God before -- unfortunately. "We're staging a Rebellion," said Jesus, coolly. God's eyes blazed with unspeakable fury, and they bore directly thru the heads of Satan and Jesus. It really hurt! "That was tried once before," God stated flatly. "Well, this is Part Two," said the Messiah impudently. God stared. "You have got to be kidding me!" "I'm not." "This has got to be a God-damned joke..." Satan was sweating profusely. He basically wished he was dead. "It isn't, " said Mankind's Savior. God and Jesus stared at each other. "We're serious." God and Jesus stared at each other. "We're here to kick your fucking ass." God and Jesus stared at each other. Finally, God's eyes popped out of his head. Then they nervously jumped back in of their own accord. "I'd like to see you try!" "Just watch." Jesus and Satan immediately sprang into action. What choice did they have? God was mezmerized. He'd never been more totally stunned and numbingly stupified in his entire infinitely-long life. His beloved son and his mortal enemy were incomprehensibly working against Him. And they had somehow managed to combine their powers. It was a miracle! Suddenly they hit him full force at his weak spot -- which he didn't even know they knew about. "What the...?" God was rocked. "Oh, yes," said Jesus. He smiled beatifically and contemptuously. And then God was no more. He wasn't dead, of course. He's God. But he was stripped of some of his powers. Jesus and Satan stole them. Now "God" was more like a demi-god. "Why did you do it?" he gasped at Jesus. "Justice." "Wha...?" "Mostly," added Satan. "You've also been a real evil fuck toward humanity." Beazulbub grinned at him with disgust. "The way we see it -- you've been a major dirtbag monster for a long time now." Jesus explained: "And that's not allowed. Not any more. Not on earth and not with mankind." He stared God down. "We forbid it." "How dare you?! Who are you to..." sputtered God. "Silence!" Jesus emphatically moved a step toward Him. God shrank a bit with fear. It was a wholely unfamiliar emotion. Jesus explained imperiously: " You can't just kill people for no reason. You can't just off the multitudes for the violation of arbitrary and malicious rules. You can't just slaughter billions of innocents." "But they aren't really inn--" "Silence!" barked Jesus. "Your time is past." He looked at God distainfully. Then he said with slow contempt: "Don't make me put my foot up your ass..." God was silent. He trembled almost violently. Jesus and Satan gave Him a last pitiable look. Then they descended to the planet below. "People of earth! All of mankind! Hear us!" Jesus bellowed. "City folk and countrymen -- Lend us your ears!" shrieked Satan impishly. Jesus froze him with a look. He continued: "The tyrannical rule of God is no more!" Everyone stopped and listened. Everyone was stunned and amazed. "You are all free! Satan and I now rule." Jesus paused a bit. "Mostly me." "We want you to live your lives without irrational guilt or pain, without needless fear or confusion. We want you to be what you wanna be. Do all you wanna do." He paused. "Be happy. Be great -- if you can be." "Go for it!" chimed in Satan. "No more need to 'believe.' No more looking for signs or saying prayers or giving thanks or begging for forgiveness." "Just live!" said Jesus. "If you work hard and live well and make yourself decently happy and great thru effort and virtue and using your rational mind to its limits -- we will reward you with infinite life in heaven. But no hell for anyone." He added: "God didn't get it completely wrong. He made this earth and also gave you life -- a treasure of limitless value. Life is a thing of indescribable beauty and wonder. A gift of infinite worth and pleasure. Don't waste it! Live for your own sake -- not your neighbors'! And never for God or the collective. Be a god yourself! And be happy in yourself by yourself for yourself -- forever and ever!!!"

Al Qaida isn't America's worst enemy at all -- it's the Democratic and Republican parties. Islam isn't a serious or dangerous threat to us -- it's Big Brother.

Yesterday was a black day for America. People think that 9/11 dealt a terrible blow to our economy and way of life. 3/21 was a hundred times worse!

Poor Ayn Rand! It seems she knows nothing about philosophy, politics, or economics, and is a terrible writer of movie scripts and kitschy, potboiler novels. She married wrong and was a pathetic addict and narcicist who inspired people to do evil, in addition to the evil which she herself did. Her followers are basically all creepy bully confused teenage zombies defending priviledge. Rand was also a humorless puritanical didact who glorified rape. And on and on. Gee, I don't know if I would say all things about Satan!

Merriam-Webster Online defines it as: "an economic system characterized by private or corporate ownership of capital goods, by investments that are determined by private decision, and by prices, production, and the distribution of goods that are determined mainly by competition in a free market." There's no reference to personal or social behavior. It isn't at all clear that "vice" activities like drugs, prostitution, gambling, and porno are permitted under their, or virtually everyone else's, definition of "capitalism." We seem to need a new word or phrase, to supplement it, or to pair it with. "Live-and-let-live libertarianism" comes to mind. Maybe also just "socio-personal liberalism."

Is it really so hard to understand? Don't all these words have definitions already? I'm only slightly tweaking them for an Objectivist or 100% pro-freedom context. Well, I like the word Wotanism! But no, I don't believe in gov't taxation, nor that it's necessary. I possibly should have said "one percent of tax equivalent" to be more clear. But current Objectivism doesn't have an answer to the tax problem. It's a political Fermat's Last Theorum. You'd have to be the purest of philosophical geniuses to figure that one out! So I thought it would be okay to use that term in a not intolerably loose way.

Thanks for the comment, Jake! But doesn't capitalism refer to the economic realm of life, whereas libertarianism refers to the socio-personal realm? Isn't the ideal in political philosophy or political science best referred to as freedom -- or else the combination of liberty, justice, and individual rights? I tend to think my use of terminology here is very clear -- maybe even better than contemporary Objectivist usage.

Great question! The answer is: Greece -- by a landslide. Glad to see the crowd agrees with me (for once!).

However much Haitians are suffering now due to the January 12th magnitude 7.0 earthquake near Port-au-Prince, it's nothing compared to how much they're suffering due to almost two centuries of heavy-handed Welfare Statism. A society, economy, and polity based on the sheer intellectual nonsense and utter moral depravity of "soft" socialism and quasi-Marxist-Leninist theory is pretty much a society, economy, and polity which is hit with a horrific natural disaster every day. And however much Americans and Westerners think themselves very superior to the agonizing people of Haiti -- and secretly laugh at their extraordinary backwardness and primitivism -- the reality is Americans too suffer pain and misery beyond compare due to the Welfare State. If we could somehow go back in time to the mid-1800s, and avoid all government "progress" like the 1930's "New Deal" and the 1960's "Great Society," America today would be far more prosperous in terms of wealth, culture, and personal happiness, than current America is relative to current Haiti. Compared to what we easily could be and should be, America today is a mere shadow of itself, and even a kind of living hell. The poorest Americans today ought to be millionaires, with three flying Rolls-Royces in the garage, a holodeck in the rec room, a vacation condominium on Mars -- and possible warp drive and immortality. America today is ultimately not all that different from Haiti: two countries which desperately need laissez-faire capitalism for the economy and live-and-let-live libertarianism for the society. We both need government to confine itself to its actual purpose -- stopping local criminals and foreign invaders -- and which only really consists of a police and a military. Taxes should be cut back to about one percent of GDP, with regulation of the economy and society cut to zero. The current hyper-evil Welfare State in both countries is like being subject to a new Hiroshima and Nagasaki every day.

Actually -- you CAN force people to be free. You CAN take liberty and force it down their throats. You just need enough political force. Also enough philosophical knowledge and moral self-confidence that you're right to do so. America has -- or at least had -- enough power and influence in Iraq and Afghanistan to set up liberal states there. They were in chaos and ready for a change anyway! All we needed to do was impose the US Constitution, especially the Bill of Rights. Maybe also eliminate all drug and prostitution laws, plus anything like Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Welfare, etc. Then they would have had a freer country than America! Now, of course the backward, savage, tribalist, socialist, shariaist Asians might have rebelled -- especially at first. They might have been offended at seeing all the singing, dancing, miniskirts, wine, free trade, unregulated commerce, multinationals, etc. Thus, as individuals or in small groups, they might have committed CRIMES to shut down the observed free people living free lives -- people being so carefree and joyous as to drive any good Dark Age Muslim MAD. So America would have had to toss a load of them into jail. And I mean based on justice, not cruelty. Based on a genuine, objective violation of rights -- not US "imperialism." Now if half the country ends up in jail anyway, then that IS a huge cost to the US and would constitute an act of impermissible altruism. Thus it wouldn't be a "low-cost, self-funding" liberal regime as I previously argued. But who says these folks would hate freedom and civilization that much? Are current Iraqis and Afghanis low animals who can't recognize justice, and don't like the good life, even when it's directly in front of them? Yes, it would likely be a shock to the system for a few weeks or months. But maybe then they would adjust. Especially if we EXPLAINED to them during the transition just how good and sweet life really is under freedom and overall liberal culture.

Although I love the energy and spirit of this analysis, Zip, I don't altogether agree with it. America and NATO are not now somehow neutral parties in Afghanistan. We are backers of SLAVERY. We helped create -- and currently prop up -- the shariaist, socialist, tribalist, military dictatorship of Karzai. After the conquest of November of 2001, we should have set up a liberal state. Then the eight-year insurgency would almost certainly never have happened. The local Afghanis would have quickly learned to hate and fight the Taliban, Al Qaida, and all other jihadi groups. This would have been in the Western self-interest -- as well as their own. But I don't think it's wholly moral or practical to slaughter the insurgents and masses who are now resisting the evil Karzai dictatorship. At the very least, the West should set up low-cost, self-supporting satrapies or puppet-states in Kabul and Khandahar from which to blast and anihilate any organized jihadis of any size or power. But they need to be liberal satrapies. I think Elan Journo also nelgects to take these issues into account.

In braindead terms, we failed to pour in enough troops. And to use them as police. In absolute terms, we failed to support political liberalism. We created a slave state -- just like in Viet Nam.

I think it's forever debatable to describe what actually constitutes Objectivism, Aristotelianism, Epicureanism, Stoicism, etc., and what constitutes disagreement with them. The more you agree with the established speculations of a given philosophy, especially the fundamental claims, the more likely you can accurately be called an adherent. But the whole notion of open vs. closed belief systems seems askew and false. I think it's best to reject that terminology and mode of thinking. Rather, we need to consider whether or not a given philosophy can be corrected and expanded, and still faithfully be referred to by its traditional name. My own contention would be that you can improve and extend a philosophy somewhat and still properly and truthfully call it by its previous name. Eventually, of course, if you deviate a lot from previous established belief, you'll need a new name for your new belief-system.

Every time I log in I'm told "wrong name or password." This has gone on at least eight times over several years.

Too many to list!

Democracy -- or rule by majority vote -- is a genuine political good. So is republicanism -- or rule by legitimate representatives. Both have considerable social and economic value to the individual and the nation. Similarly, autonomy and self-rule are governmental goods and values which a given society finds very much worth having. And it's even worth while for that civilization to enjoy non-violation of their national soverignty and non-interference in their internal affairs by non-citizens. But none of these political goods and values are anywhere near as important as freedom. In the life of the person and his nation, none are remotely as central and pivotal as liberty, justice, and individual rights. Thus if some strange and hateful "foreign devils" decide to brutally smash another nation's democracy, republic, autonomy, and self-rule into the ground, while grossly violating their national soverignty, and interferring in their internal affairs, this shocking act may or may not be a true political and socio-economic evil. If the invaders -- no matter how distantly alien --do all this in a way which enhances the individual liberty of the given politiy -- and doesn't exact a large practical price in the process -- then this is a governmental good. The "bloody foreigners" have a right to do so, and the former local rulers and their supporters, in turn, have no right to complain. Certainly they have no right to militarily oppose them. These external invaders can and should take their alien political values and "force them down their throats." If the foreigners' standards, ideas, and ideals are sufficiently superior to those they seek to replace -- and their imperialist behavior constitutes an act of overall liberation -- then they have the right to impose them upon the less civilized locals. The fact that in the process these invaders trashed the democracy, crushed the republic, stomped upon their autonomy, and obliterated their self-rule is irrelevant. So too if the unwanted and even hated outsiders wantonly violated their national soverignty and relentlessly interfered in their internal affairs. The simple fact is the locals have no right to violate the rights of their coevals. They enjoy no freedom to suppress the freedom of their brothers. No matter how properly and legitimately the local tyrants rule by some minor standards, they aren't allowed to set up or maintain a slave state. The supreme value of individual liberty forbids this. The absolute and untouchable right to freedom, justice, and individual rights forbids this. Indeed, if a bunch of foreign devils and outside invaders decide to free some suffering nation, and they don't do appreciable damage in the process, the non-citizen aliens have every right to do so. The overwhelming reality is no political good is superior -- or even close to -- that of freedom. No social and economic value is superior -- or even close to -- that of liberty, justice, and individual rights.

Time magazine is attacking and misrepresenting capitalism? Time was a sleazy populist rag at least as early as the 1930s! Newsweek had integrity and quality. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

Your comment is certainly open to w-i-d-e interpretation Axiomatic, but I'm going to say I agree with it! South Korea, Japan, America, and all our allies need to loudly, proudly break relations with this odious, illegitimate dictatorship and vociferously morally condemn the tyrants and their top henchmen. We should also broadcast non-stop overwhelming propaganda into their nation via radio, t'v', and even leaflet drops. All the broadcast words should be true -- but all should be aimed at intellectually and morally devastating that loathsome government, and sparking a revolt. We should also express great sympathy with the mostly-innocent suffering people. This coupled with a pure trade boycott should end the regime peacefully. These tactics will, IMHO, effectively drag the vampire out into the sun, without us having to energetically stab with our pointy sticks.

Poking a dangerous vampire with a deadly-sharp wooden stake.

I think North Korea constitutes an objective and massive threat to South Korea, Japan, and even America. And it's only going to get much worse, and quickly. So I think South Korea, Japan, and America should reject the option of appeasing evil and living in nuclear terror. They need to properly defend themselves via a sudden, unexpected, overwhelming assault on North Korea's military and government institutions. We need to terminate this horrific menace once and for all.

MichaelH -- The society and market grossly underserves you, as it does all extreme minorities, and you suffer considerably in that regard. So do all personal rarities and those of exotic taste. But we're all thus in many respects. This a serious issue, and I don't diminish it, but because rights and freedoms are inherently individualistic and equal, you don't suffer politically or before the law -- except for a certain coldness, indifference, and lack of sympathy from the powers-that-be to your particular situation.

Mad Kat -- Too too (too too) late!

Romantic Realist -- I think you need to substantiate your arguments better and provide more sources.

Nothingness, non-existence, void.

I prefer to eat earth puppies! You know -- cows, pigs, etc. Yum-yum!