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maarius11

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Everything posted by maarius11

  1. I did not for a moment think that you meant to learn to meditate with any sort of religious connotation attached to it. Frankly, if I had I would have blown the idea off because it is not my way. If meditation works it is for the reasons you mentioned and people just have other ways of reaching that point of clarity. I simply have not found a way to get there and again today I found myself blowing up over fairly trivial things so I am here rereading these posts to get back to where I was yesterday. I feel like I need to check my premises and figure out what it is that is clashing because something certainly is. The only time I ever feel at ease lately is when I'm surfing, so perhaps I'll make a conscious effort to focus on this little problem while I'm out on the water. Can't hurt I suppose... Also, Eiuol, there are several different ways to interoperate "mindfulness". Are you talking Zen style mindfulness or psychology's mindfulness or am I not understanding what you mean?
  2. I really appreciate all the feedback yo have given me. It's funny, but just after posting it I began to think more clearly about these things and I have found myself a bit more in control. There must be some truth in what I've heard about expressing your emotions and having the power taken out of them. I use exercise to help take some of it away. I think the big issue here is for me to really look at my expectations and that is something I have been doing lately too. I have been told that I need to meditate by 3 people now, perhaps I ought to look into that. The fact of the matter here is that I don't like the feeling like I've lost control and that is how I feel when I get angry. I am a human and I am capable of having better control over myself than I have letting my emotions run rampant like they do. I'm going to look into some of these methods and really try to get back to the basics. Reason, purpose and self-esteem right? Losing my temper over insignificant things goes against my morals and my values, so thank you all for your help. I'll keep you posted.
  3. I spent several years reading about Objectivism and using it in my everyday life to pull myself out of a vicious downward spiral that was going to lead me to eiher death or prison. I felt like I had things pretty under control but the past year or so I have felt like I haven't been in control. The slightest things will set me off and I feel myself get very violent and agressive. There have been a few times in the past year that I have let it get the best of me and hurt people and I know I shouldn't do that. The best way I can describe it is the term "seeing red" and then when its over I feel like I wasn't in control and I regret that I lost it. I'm not sure how to get a grip. Anyone have some constructive advice?
  4. Feeling like everyone around me is insane lately!

  5. Feeling like everyone around me is insane lately!

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