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(This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men — The Leading Man.) Ashleigh Brilliant once remarked: "I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy." I don't recommend that anyone ever give up on their quest for the truth. However the statement has some interesting application to the subject of romance . . . Women are looking for a "good fantasy." Women are tired of day-to-day, ordinary reality, fed up with the grind that passes for "real life." A woman longs for color and spice in her life — particularly in her love life. Women consume an astonishing amount of fiction. I know women who read more books and watch more movies in a month than I do in a year! The best-selling category of publishing has long been romance. Who reads romance novels? It's not men. To sweep a woman off her feet, you have to be her fantasy man. You must represent something exciting, unusual and different to her. Remember always that a woman wants to feel: conversation about mundane, "practical" topics generally gets you nowhere fast. Make a woman laugh — ask her silly, offbeat questions, like: "Which would you rather encounter if you were walking in the forest, an Ewok or a Hobbit?" or "If you could be any kind of fruit or vegetable for a day, which would it be?" Demonstrate to her that you're a confident, adventurous man, unafraid to step outside the constraints of average, "regular life." This doesn't mean that you take her skydiving or involve her in death-defying stunts. But when you're operating within the genre of romance, you have to think outside the box. Show me a woman who's involved with a man who brings a high degree of creativity to his interaction with her — who keeps her enthralled through mystery and intrigue — a man who understands how to arouse anticipation in her — who connects with her on a deep emotional level, activating her senses and stimulating her imagination — and I'll show you a woman who very likely won't be leaving her man any time soon! © 2013 Kevin Delaney
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