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Found 1 result

  1. I'm in a sort of moral dilemma now. Let me explain the situation first. I started talking to a woman on facebook, we have quite a lot in common and we've had many great conversations, I really like her as a person. After a while, she said she's gotten feelings for me, and she wants to visit me and possibly get into a really serious relationship if I also like her. (She lives in another country) I've seen photos of her, and also an old video, and she was really good looking in those, and with a great gravitas and charm in her eye. But lately, I've come to realize that all these photos she showed me of her were very old, which she never told me. I got that confirmed when she sent me a video message. She looks different now, much older, and more tired (she uses lots of drugs (legal) too), not nearly as beautiful and charming as in those old pictures and videos. Now I feel really awful. I've already promised her that she can stay with me, she's ordered her plane ticket and she's been talking about having sex and everything. Also how a future could look like if we got together. I still like her quite a lot as a person, but not so much physically, even though she's not directly ugly or anything. To be honest, I wish that she wouldn't visit me now, not only because of her appearance but also since I feel a bit fooled, after all, she never told me all these pictures were at least 8 years old, or more, which they most likely are (when comparing some pictures, she almost looks like a different person), and she didn't send me video messages until after I told her she could order the tickets. Still, telling her that she can't visit me after all would break my heart, she's very emotionally invested in me now and want to talk to me all the time, and maybe she's even paid for the plane ticket even though the trip isn't until November. (Is that common to do?) I'm very afraid of hurting girls, because it tears a lot on my conscience. What do you think I should do? I guess most people would condescend and shame me for even asking this, as we're not supposed to care too much about looks and so on. (Although I suspect everyone does, and people who try to be moral in this way are just self-delusional hypocrites) But I'd imagine Objectivists might have a different viewpoint, maybe.. What do you think I should do, and why?
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