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Found 12 results

  1. (This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men, The Leading Man.) In her book The Passion of Ayn Rand, Barbara Branden quotes from interviews she recorded with Rand about her life and career. Talking about her years as a teenager in Soviet Russia, Rand spoke of walking with a young man who made an indelible impression on her: "I don't remember the conversation on the way home, we just talked, nothing romantic. But he had a manner of projecting that he's a man and you're a woman and he's aware of it." "By the time I arrived home," Rand said, "I was madly and desperately in love."* (Years later, Rand would name one of the main characters of her novel We the Living — Leo — after him.) If there is a single idea which a man must grasp and master if he is to build a powerful romantic relationship with a woman, it's polarity. Polarity is the recognition of the fact that romance — at least heterosexual romance — is predicated on the existence of two sexes; there is male and female, man and woman, masculine/feminine. To a Leading Man, the fact of sex, and therefore of sexual differences, is an enormously good thing. We do all that we can to positively stress and to celebrate that women and men are not exactly identical in every way. Unfortunately, many men ignore, minimize or attempt to downplay sex differences. In their efforts to be respectful and "modern," they treat a woman they are romantically interested in as a buddy or pal. Instead of torrid passion, these men often find themselves caught in a tepid friendship. Polarity is essential to forming a deeply erotic connection with a woman. In romance, a woman wants & needs to be seen and experienced by a man as a woman — not merely as a person, and definitely not as a sexless neuter. To fall in love with a woman means falling in love with her feminine essence. It means being turned on by the challenge that her femininity poses to you. When polarity weakens in a relationship, things get boring. When it isn't there from the beginning, relationships often don't get off the ground. A sophisticated man is not threatened by sexual differences. He embraces, enjoys and appreciates them. To the man who understands romance, "I'm a man, you're a woman" isn't a put-down, nor does it represent an attempt to return to caveman days. It's a basic fact of reality, one which underlies and makes possible the most exciting kind of relationship between two human beings. *I have a number of misgivings about Ms. Branden, and I do not generally endorse her biography of Ayn Rand. However I have no reason to believe that this quotation is inaccurate. © 2013 Kevin Delaney
  2. (This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men — The Leading Man.) When I was a teenager, my driver's ed teacher taught me how to properly jump-start a car. Most people do it wrong, he explained. They connect both cable clips to the dead battery. Watch a professional do it. The pro connects the red (positive) cable to the battery, the other to an unpainted piece of metal under the hood. The way the majority of people do it does often result in a successfully started engine. But it can also create sparks, which might cause the battery to explode. The odds of this happening are relatively small, but a pro doesn't take chances. Professionals do it the right way. Part of being a professional lies in knowing what not to do. When you understand romance, you notice all sorts of things that guys do which indicate that they have not attained a high degree of mastery in this area. They make mistakes — some huge, many sloppy and small. I was in a restaurant the other day, and saw a guy come in with a young woman. Over the course of ten minutes, I witnessed: 1. She opened the door when they entered. 2. As they stood inside waiting for the hostess to come over to them, he put his hand on the back of her neck and began rubbing it. 3. When the hostess said, "You can sit wherever you like," the guy turned to his girl and asked, "Where do you want to sit?" 4. Once at the table, he talked excessively. He complained. He swore. 5. When their food arrived, he mostly looked down at his plate and concentrated on feeding his face, barely making eye contact with the woman. One might argue that these are minor issues. They are. But romance is very much about "little things" — details that demonstrate that a man is aware, that he is sophisticated and mature, and that he knows what he's doing. Romance isn't friendship. It's not enough for a woman to think you're a cool guy with an interesting personality. It's not enough for her merely to like you; she has to admire you, and experience you emotionally as her protector. A high-quality woman wants to sense that you are a cut above the masses of men. She needs to feel that you're special and different. At best, every error that a guy makes in romance represents a missed opportunity — a moment when he could have made a positive impression, but didn't. There's no better way to come across as "different" in a woman's eyes than to study romance, internalize its principles, and put yourself across at all times in a professional manner! P.S.: 1. A professional man opens the door for a woman. 2. A professional man does not put his hands on a woman in public. 3. A professional man selects the table in a restaurant. 4. A professional man doesn't talk too much; he keeps his conversation polite and positive. 5. A professional man makes relaxed, easygoing eye contact with a woman, casting her in the spotlight of his awareness. He makes her feel seen, heard, acknowledged and important. © 2013 Kevin Delaney
  3. (This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men, The Leading Man.) Renée Wade, who runs a website called The Feminine Woman, posted a question on her Facebook page asking her (mostly female) readers to name what behaviors or body language they observe in men that leads them to think that a guy lacks confidence in himself. Read the full discussion here: http://on.fb.me/1f4lSmS Notice the recurring theme of eye contact in the responses. Renée herself says: "Yes, not looking us in the eye is one — I tend to feel awkward around men if they do that. Especially if they keep darting from 1 second of eye contact to 3 seconds of no eye contact and repeat." Mastering the art of relaxed, easygoing eye contact is critical for forming & sustaining a meaningful connection with a woman. Absent this, you make it hard for a woman to feel at ease with you. She might sense that you're not being completely honest with her — that you might be hiding something — that she cannot trust you. Note too how many women in Renée's discussion refer to a man putting others down, as well as boasting or bragging. Leading men "keep on the sunny side." We do our best to remain positive, upbeat and cheerful at all times. We enjoy making a woman smile; we're here to bring sunshine to her life, and coax laughter from her soul. We don't talk negatively, and we don't ever feel the need to insult anyone (or anything)! I once heard a woman speak very highly of a man she was dating. One of the things she most enjoyed about him was that he didn't talk excessively about himself, and he never bragged or boasted — this despite the fact that she knew he had many legitimate accomplishments & successes to his credit. I'll never forget what she said about him: "He has a lot that he could brag about — but he doesn't." This is a man who exudes confidence! He has nothing to prove, and no one to prove it to. He accepts his own value easily, almost like an axiom. When a person is hellbent on demonstrating to you what an important person they are, you can take it as a sure sign that they are not confident in themselves. Very likely, they suffer from insecurity and/or feelings of inferiority. Here are some additional responses from women in the thread: ▪ "Not making direct eye contact, hands all the way in pockets, & bad posture." ▪ "Talking loud & about [himself] all the time." ▪ "Always looking for approval, puts others down." ▪ "Feels the need to one-up others when in a group setting, you can tell he needs to feel like he's the best. A truly confident man wouldn't care what anyone thought." ▪ "When he can't look me in the eyes… shy[ness] and confidence don't go hand in hand…" ▪ "If he calls your phone 100,000 times a day." ▪ "When a man asks you what you think, then changes his responses to play to your answers. Means he is a chameleon, not a man." © 2013 Kevin Delaney
  4. (This is a post I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men — The Leading Man.) An article on the Harvard Medical School's website titled "Astounding Increase in Antidepressant Use by Americans" reveals that while the rate of these types of drugs being prescribed to both men and women has skyrocketed, women are two and a half times as likely as men to be on antidepressants. The Huffington Post reports that one out of four women takes some kind of medication for a mental health condition, compared to 15 percent of men. While the reasons for these statistics are debatable, one thing is abundantly clear . . . There are an awful lot of deeply unhappy women today. Whatever successes can be attributed to the feminist movement, one thing it has not been able to do is to make women happy. Do you think that the women who haven't been issued prescriptions for antidepressants by a doctor are bursting with joy & enthusiasm for life? A key aspect of depression is a feeling of emotional emptiness. Depression is not mere sadness — in fact, for a depressed person, being able to feel sadness or sorrow would be a step up for them. Depression entails feeling dead inside, feeling "blah" & unmotivated. The motto of a depressed person is "What's the use?" silently spoken in response to the challenges of life. A person in the grip of depression often feels that he or she doesn't have much of a future, so why bother doing anything? It won't matter anyway . . . I don't need to point out that these kinds of feelings of hopelessness can easily go hand-in-hand with thoughts of escaping from life altogether. In a recent Webinar, in partial answer to the age-old question "What does a woman want?" I said that a woman wants to FEEL. What specifically does a woman want to feel? All sorts of things: Joy, excitement, elation, a sense of wonder and beauty . . . She wants to feel turned on by life, connected to people and things . . . successful, strong, empowered, adventurous . . . She wants to feel that she faces a magnificent future — that she is fully and actively participating in life — that a smorgasbord of delicious possibilities is spread out before her . . . In short, a woman wants to feel ALIVE! Women will frequently say when they're in love with a man: "He makes me feel alive!" Older women who find romance will say: "I feel young again!" Women (at least heterosexual women) are at their happiest when they are deeply in love with a man. Don't ever let anyone make you doubt this fundamental fact. Women want to be in love with us — because women want to be in love. As men, we cannot cure all that ails women. But we have a nearly-unbelievable power to bring positive emotions into a woman's life — to make her feel vital and vibrant and beautiful and young and free. When we succeed at this, we experience happiness. There is no tonic in the world (and certainly no prescription medication) that can inspire & motivate us the way a happy woman who is in love with life and with us can! © 2013 Kevin Delaney
  5. In romance, fantasy is more important than reality. Join me on Sunday, September 29, 2013 at 6 p.m. Pacific / 8 p.m. Central / 9 p.m. Eastern for a free Webinar in conjunction with my blog The Leading Man, in which I'll talk about how a man can use the power of fantasy to create an exciting romantic connection with a woman, and rock her universe! Click here to RSVP for this FREE Webinar Some of what we'll cover: * The unbelievable turn-on power of words — how stories and poetic descriptions can stimulate a woman's imagination, activating her emotions like nothing else. * The staggering popularity of literotica/romance fiction among women, and what men can learn from it. * Sensual fantasy, as opposed to strictly sexual fantasy. * How to get into the pages of the novel inside her mind, and become her super-hero! It's free to attend this live & interactive discussion, however you must RSVP: http://LeadingManBlog.com/Webinar Arrive early, and be prepared to take lots of notes! Please note: Although the program is geared toward a male audience, women are highly encouraged to attend & participate.
  6. Join me for a free Webinar in conjunction with my Leading Man romance blog on Sunday, September 22, 2013 at 6:00 p.m. Pacific / 8 p.m. Central / 9 p.m. Eastern — all about the art of erotic talk! Click here to RSVP for this FREE online event What sexy visuals are to a man, the right words can be to a woman. In this live & interactive program, I'll talk about how a man can most effectively use language to activate a woman's imagination, access her fantasy life, and turn her on from the inside out. Some of what we'll cover: * The sacred relationship women have with words; why certain statements expressed at key moments can have an explosive effect. * Why it's not so much what you say, it's what you IMPLY that matters most. * How to raise the impact of your erotic talk by mastering poetry and metaphor. * Specific words, sentences and phrases I've collected over the years — my own personal "swipe file" of sexy statements which you can start putting to use immediately. When you understand the power of erotic talk, you have a potent tool for stimulating a woman’s mind and senses. Sign up, tune in, and take notes! RSVP here: http://www.LeadingManBlog.com/Webinar Please note: Due to the mature nature of this program, you must be 18 years of age or older to attend.
  7. Here's a clip from a Webinar I hosted in conjunction with my blog The Leading Man, in which I talk about two tweets I wrote on the nature of masculinity, and the role that egoism plays in what it means to "be a man" in romance: http://youtu.be/vCaCwzuJIGw (If you're unable to play the video, you can listen to the audio by clicking here.) Download the full Webinar here.
  8. Join me on Sunday, September 1, 2013 for a live & interactive Webinar in conjunction with my Leading Man romance blog, in which I'll talk about some of my favorite tweets I’ve written for the Leading Man Twitter feed. Go here to RSVP: http://LeadingManBlog.com/FreeWebinar The Webinar will start at 6 p.m. Pacific / 8 p.m. Central / 9 p.m. Eastern. Every day, I send a message via Twitter pertaining to love, sex, dating, romance & relationships. Since Twitter limits you to just 140 characters, it’s often a challenge to put across a meaningful idea in so small a space. In this Webinar, I'll read a selection of these Tweets and expand on them. I'll share thoughts which are too difficult to put across in the limited format of Twitter, and answer any questions you have! Here’s a sampling of some of the Tweets I'll be discussing: "What does a woman want?" Impossible to answer in a short tweet, but here's a good start: A woman wants to FEEL. Women are FEELING addicts. Masculinity is not about acting macho, or role-playing the tough guy. It's about bringing genuine EGOISM to your sexual/romantic life. Inside a woman's mind is a romantic novel. Your mission is to infiltrate her fantasies & become the leading man in the story of her life! Beautiful women get grabbed & groped all the time. Be the opposite of these creeps — DO NOT TOUCH a woman you're not in a relationship with. Emotionally supporting a woman is not placing her on a pedestal; it's casting her in the spotlight & giving her the gift of your awareness. Genuine masculinity represents a challenge to a man: to do and be his BEST at all times in romance & sex. (Hence its extreme unpopularity!) The fact that you have feelings doesn't make you weak. However at times your emotions can make you a little bit stupid. Women admire a man who is busy, professional & has goals. Your CAREER must be your central value & main course in life — romance is dessert! Forget what you've heard in a million love songs: a high-caliber woman urgently wants to meet the man who can — and does — live without her. A man who hasn't taken the time to learn about romance is like a CEO who doesn't understand business trying to run a company. A Leading Man brings a lot of imagination to romance, to dating, to sex. He's like an artist — always looking to create something exciting! The Webinar is free to attend, however you must RSVP: http://LeadingManBlog.com/FreeWebinar
  9. (This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men — The Leading Man.) It's an extremely common scenario… A man is attracted to a woman, and wants to date her. The woman isn't interested in him in this way, and says that she wants to be "friends." The man thinks: That isn't what I want, but I suppose it's better than nothing. So he accepts the "friendship," and proceeds to endure protracted misery and frustration. When a woman says to you that she "just wants to be friends," she almost certainly doesn't mean it literally. Women aren't dumb; they understand that a one-sided romantic attraction is not a good basis for a healthy relationship of any kind. The phrase "Let's just be friends" is a polite kiss-off — a way for a woman to turn you down without hurting your feelings too much. A sane woman who utters it is very likely hoping that you'll understand this, and have the brains and self-respect to leave her alone. Most men don't do this. They accept the "consolation prize" of friendship, knowing full well that what they want is something more. But you can't turn off your feelings — and when an attraction is unrequited, it tends to grow stronger. Thus, you have the sad spectacle of a man who continues to hang around a woman and see her socially, all the while hoping that somehow, eventually, she'll come to see what a great guy he is, and she'll start to desire to have him as her boyfriend. That day, unfortunately, never comes. Do yourself (and your masculinity) a huge favor: Keep your romantic life as simple, uncluttered and uncomplicated as possible. A major aspect of this is to keep the distinctions between friendship and romantic love absolutely clear in your mind at all times. There are women you're friends with, and women you're attracted to. Do not attempt to mix these categories. When a woman tells you, in one way or another, that she isn't interested in dating you, accept it and move on. Make it a clean break; don't accept "consolation prizes" in lieu of what you really want. When you attempt to engage in a friendship with a woman you have romantic feelings for, you set yourself up for torment, and you end up wasting a lot of time. You don't have unlimited time to meet and date women. By learning to recognize & avoid women who represent romantic dead ends for you, you can invest your energies into endeavors which are much more likely to produce a happy outcome.
  10. (This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men — The Leading Man.) Ashleigh Brilliant once remarked: "I have abandoned my search for truth, and am now looking for a good fantasy." I don't recommend that anyone ever give up on their quest for the truth. However the statement has some interesting application to the subject of romance . . . Women are looking for a "good fantasy." Women are tired of day-to-day, ordinary reality, fed up with the grind that passes for "real life." A woman longs for color and spice in her life — particularly in her love life. Women consume an astonishing amount of fiction. I know women who read more books and watch more movies in a month than I do in a year! The best-selling category of publishing has long been romance. Who reads romance novels? It's not men. To sweep a woman off her feet, you have to be her fantasy man. You must represent something exciting, unusual and different to her. Remember always that a woman wants to feel: conversation about mundane, "practical" topics generally gets you nowhere fast. Make a woman laugh — ask her silly, offbeat questions, like: "Which would you rather encounter if you were walking in the forest, an Ewok or a Hobbit?" or "If you could be any kind of fruit or vegetable for a day, which would it be?" Demonstrate to her that you're a confident, adventurous man, unafraid to step outside the constraints of average, "regular life." This doesn't mean that you take her skydiving or involve her in death-defying stunts. But when you're operating within the genre of romance, you have to think outside the box. Show me a woman who's involved with a man who brings a high degree of creativity to his interaction with her — who keeps her enthralled through mystery and intrigue — a man who understands how to arouse anticipation in her — who connects with her on a deep emotional level, activating her senses and stimulating her imagination — and I'll show you a woman who very likely won't be leaving her man any time soon! © 2013 Kevin Delaney
  11. (This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men — The Leading Man.) If a woman doesn't respect you, it's impossible for her to feel eros toward you. A woman's feelings of attraction for a man are predicated on her ability to experience admiration when she's in his presence, or when she thinks about him. How many people do you admire whom you don't respect? Men manage to destroy romance all the time, by acting in ways that make it impossible for women to respect them. They come across as needy, clingy, immature and insecure. They tend to overdo things — calling/texting too often, spending inordinate amounts of time with her, deluging her with presents and complements. Want to give a woman a gift? Be different from the hordes of guys who annoy her with their loneliness and desperation. A woman wants to feel that you live a life; that you have an interesting, full existence apart from her. When she is with you, she wants to feel that she is stepping into an exciting world. She wants to feel that being with you is an honor and a privilege. She does not want to feel that you have unlimited time for her, or that she is your only romantic option. By limiting the amount of contact you have with a woman, you make the time you do spend together that much more special. You give her the opportunity to long for you, and to look forward to your next encounter. You also instill in her that special, rare, delicious emotion: the feeling that you are able to get along quite OK without her! © 2013 Kevin Delaney
  12. (This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men — The Leading Man.) When a woman first begins to date a man, she tends to have two major concerns about him. One is the question of whether or not he is trustworthy. Will she be able to rely on him? Can he be counted on to be there for her when she needs him? The second worry is whether or not he will be needy and clingy in the relationship. Virtually all women have had experiences with men who at first seemed great, only to eventually reveal themselves to be children looking for a mother. The last thing a rational woman wants is to feel that she has to take care of a man — that she is somehow responsible for his emotional well-being. When a man lacks maturity, and particularly when he lacks a strong career orientation in his life, he will often look to relationships with women to fill an emotional void. This type of man is not able to bring confident, inspiring masculine energy into a woman's life. Although she might initially feel attracted to him, over time he becomes a pest. For this reason, many women will drop a guy cold at the first sign of insecurity or "mama-seeking." In the early stages of getting to know a woman, it's extremely important that she get the impression that you are a vital man living an exciting, full life; that you are emotionally independent and psychologically whole. Demonstrate this to her, by doing the opposite of what needy men do: ▪ Be the one to end conversations first. Attractive women are used to guys trying to talk their ears off. ▪ In the beginning especially, limit yourself to seeing her no more than once per week. (If she wants to get together more often than that, tell her you'd like to, but your schedule does not permit.) ▪ Keep your dates short. When you're having fun, don't allow it to go on all night. ▪ Reveal information about yourself gradually. Let her work to pull it out of you. ▪ Keep your demeanor upbeat and positive at all times. Do not burden a woman by talking about your problems. ▪ Never brag or boast, even in a subtle, implied way. ▪ Don't be in a rush to get into an exclusive relationship! © 2013 Kevin Delaney
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