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A new method of understanding the uberverse.

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Tenure

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The following is a great discovery I made, after much superspection (denoted from introspection and extrospection, by being, to use the technical term, 'Really Awesome') and later posted onto Facebook. I felt that the truth needs to be shared, and hopefully the closed-system of Objectivism can be opened up to embrace this principle to its bosom...

*ahem*

Theologians today are approaching a time of peril - they have limited their scope far too narrowly. Blinded by the close-minded arrogance of their most popular representatives, these fools believe there is merely 'more to reality than we can ever suppose'. There exists simply another plane of existence, or at least a deeper level of existence, that cannot be understood from any human or objective angle. They limit their scope to simple faith, and focus only on the supernatural plane.

But what these deluded individuals fail to realise, these arrogant intellectuals, is that there is more than simple supernaturalism. They deliberately ignore the evidence that the spiritual principle of God cannot explain everything. Science might tell us the 'How?' and Religion may tell us the 'Why?' behind the universe; but what it fails to recognise is the 'Perhaps?' or the 'Suppose...!' that underpins existence.

Theologians just aren't equipped to answer these questions, nor are the more primitive scientists. We are still left wondering: "So I know how an apple falls, and that reason why it fell instead of lifted was because of God; but perhaps apples aren't really apples at all? Suppose they're really elephants in disguise!'

There is ample evidence that there is something more than just God, all around the supernatural. I call this deeper, more powerful area, the 'Superdupernatural'. It is an area that our close-minded scholars, scientists and theologians could never explore, because their methods are limited. Sure, faith can tell us that God exists and God made everything; but can it tell us if, perhaps, God is orange? Suppose God smells like melancholy!

Let's consider the basic line of science - that everything that exists has a cause. Now, if we go back, we logically find that the first cause to the universe is God. Even before we broach such advanced questions as the exact weight of love or the intricate nature of God's mind, there are still more elementary questions. Why did God make the universe, and why he didn't instead he didn't make a cup of tea. Perhaps he is allergic to tea? Suppose he just hadn't invented Asia yet!

Where science and theology fall down, superdupernaturalism is there to provide us with real truth - the kind of truth science and God could never provide. It allows us to examine hydrogen atoms, to see if they really are evil by superdupernature, as a lot of superdupernaturalists already believe (SuDooscientists [a part anagram, part phonetic spelling] as we prefer to be known); and to discover if evil itself really can get those tough stains off of my shirts.

What superdupernaturalism does, is provide that necessary link, to what we already feel in our liver - located just below the heart - so that we can better understand the exact texture, taste and adhesiveness of reality.

But by what process do we validate our beliefs? How do we know that what we know about the superdupernatural realm is true? Well, through our liver's special secondary function: Uberfaith. Sure, theologians have faith, which means they really, really believe in God and everything he stands for, but do they really, really, really, cross-their-hearts-and-hope-to-do believe? If they did, if they'd just open their bile ducts, then they'd be able to let the truth of the superdupernatural realm into their livers.

Keep the uberfaith, my unisex siblings, and the ultramega-God will reward you (oh did I not mention him? Well that's covered in 2nd Year SuDooscience, under the topic, "Infinite-Mechanics" or "Stuff bigger than the biggest stuff x a million ba jillion plus one").

Edited by Tenure
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I have had some responses to my divinely-inspired knowledge, on Facebook, and I shall leave them here, along with my response, for your edification:

ummm....how do theologians limit their scope by believing there is more to the universe than meets the eye? this does not limit them to simply faith. Science and faith (in my opinion) go hand-in-hand. i disagree when other christians or other 'people of faith' claim that science is all wrong and is irrelevant. i believe that science (when it has proof) is correct in explaining how our universe works...and i also believe that proper faith doesnt lead someone to the conclusion that science is a load of rubbish.

and please dont call all theologians arrogant, its not a term you can use on an entire group of people, only on individuals. some are, some arent (and the same goes for scientists).

im sorry but i dont like this sort of piss-take aimed at anyone who has a different point of view than your own - what exactly are you trying to say with this note?

"Piss-take"? I very sincerely believe that superdupernaturalism is a field that simply hasn't been explored in depth enough, and is largely ignored by the scientific and theological community at large. I, too, don't think that science OR faith are a bunch of rubbish. And just as they go hand in hand, so does Supernaturalism and Superdupernaturalism.

Of course, it requires proper uber-faith, so only Christians like you and I can hope to ever understand it - you see, people of other religions have a much weaker faith, they don't really, REALLY believe in their Gods, so it doesn't qualify as faith. But you and I really, REALLY believe in the big G.

And by extension, I merely believe that proper uberfaith - really, really, really, crossing-your-heart-and-hoping-to-die belief in the power of the superdupernatural realm - is required to understand the superdupernatural realm.

And you're right, I was wrong, not all theologians are arrogant - just those who don't think there's anything more than the supernatural realm of God; those who are too close minded in science and faith, in both the fields of science and theology, to accept that there's stuff beyond God.

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Some day someone will find your note on facebook, actually believe what it says, start a cult based on it, and thousands of years from now your great-great-great-great...great-grandson will decide to write a sarcastic response to uber-religion, mocking them for not seeing the reality beyond their reality. And the cycle repeats.

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The liver?? BLOODY INFIDEL!! It is the SPLEEN that is the proper organ for sensing the true nature of existence! Woe woe woe unto thee, thou ACCURSED hepatic wretch! Thou art a menace to society, and HATEFUL in the eyes of the Lord!!! Verily I say unto thee, unleash thy anger so that thou mayest KNOW THE TRUTH!! WISDOM shall be revealed to he who gives himself over to the FURY of the Lord!! Cathartic JOY shall come to he who VENTS!

JJM

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John is indeed right, this blatantly pro-liver propaganda is against true superdupernaturalism, it is proof that we make God and ultramega-God in our own image. This heresy cannot be permitted, I call on the faithful to split from this false liver-worship and spleen-idolatry and embrace neo-superdupernaturalism which holds that the true source of all goodness, the fountain of all knowledge and the father of Santa Claus is... the adenoids.

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This has gotten way out of hand! Look - this is what happens when you try to use reason in a superdupernaturalist environment. Your lack of uberfaith means that you are blind to the truely truthtacular truth of the Truth. The way to connect, or not to connect, is through, or above, or below, the liver! As one supposes a truth, it enters the realm of elevated truth - a field your petty post-Objectivist leanings are keeping you shut away from.

Do not vent your spleen, like John professes, nor step away from your liver, as Jingles so dogmatically demands - unless, of course, you really, really feel that it is true that this is, or is not, or could be, but we're not saying it is, the truth!

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