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Reblogged: Ideas for First Dates

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Many moons ago, shortly after I published my podcast on Finding Good Prospects for Romance and Friendship, Stella Zawistowski sent me this set of excellent ideas for first dates, particularly geared toward city-dwellers.

  • If you live near a college, university, or especially a conservatory for the arts, be sure to get on the school’s mailing list or check posted schedules regularly for free or low-cost performances. You’ll frequently find Shakespeare, dance productions, recitals, orchestra concerts, and sometimes even opera.
  • Ballroom dance studios often offer free or low-price guest nights to attract new students. You can enjoy the free beginners’ lesson, then apply your new skills dancing with your date for the rest of the night.
  • Many pubs and bars offer trivia nights. You and your date can be a two-person team.
  • Some bars and restaurants offer themed wine-tasting nights.
  • Picnic in the park. Bonus points if you make the food yourself and/or have a dog that likes to play.
  • Follow dinner or drinks with board games instead of a movie.
  • In the summer, many cities have food festivals or street fairs that it’s fun to browse with a date.
  • If you and your date are sports fans, try minor-league or college games. Minor-league baseball is a particularly fun date, and usually costs the same or less than a movie ticket! If there’s no minor-league team in your area, catch a game at a sports bar.
  • Go on a hike (but don’t pick too strenuous a trail; you want to be able to converse with your date).
  • Visit your local zoo or botanical gardens to enjoy nature harnessed for man’s enjoyment.
  • If your city has a Time Out magazine, subscribe to it (or visit timeout.com) to find all kinds of events.
  • Many farmer’s markets offer free or low-cost cooking demonstrations. See how a dish is made, then buy the ingredients, go home and prepare it with your date.

Any other ideas? Post them in the comments!

If you’re interested in purchasing the podcast, that’s still available for just $20. You can find more information — and purchase it — here: Finding Good Prospects for Romance and Friendship.

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If it's truly the first time that you and another person will be getting together and spending an appreciable amount of time together, then there's really only one appropriate activity: You should meet at a coffee shop or other similar establishment, and talk to each other for about 45 minutes to an hour.

The other things listed are fine for dates a little further down the line.

The author suggests attending plays and other types of performances (during which talking is generally prohibited), yet cautions against picking too strenuous a trail when hiking, since it's important to be able to converse with your date!

Generally speaking, it's a good idea to stay out of theaters, and avoid any activity which prevents you from communicating face-to face, for the first several dates.

 

Many farmer’s markets offer free or low-cost cooking demonstrations. See how a dish is made, then buy the ingredients, go home and prepare it with your date.


I extremely strongly suggest NOT "going home" with someone on a first date.

Edited by Kevin Delaney
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Lather each other up with suntan oil, lie out by the pool, then get into the shower together and have sex like rabid gerbils. 

 

I love you Diana, but your ideas for first dates are awful. I like mine better. 

 

Kevin Delaney

I extremely strongly suggest NOT "going home" with someone on a first date.

 

No surprise, but I extremely strongly suggest doing exactly that. ;)

Edited by secondhander
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I absolutely support @kevin delaney. I would also prefer to have a casual chat in a restaurant/cafe on my first date. talking to your date is the first step towards checking if you are compatible, or just poles apart in ideas and interests.

but  I would also LOVE  to go to a zoo or a museum or or maybe a bookstore(provided the guy is as obsessed with books as I am). perfect opportunities for stimulating conversations!! 

 

and @secondhander- seriously??? on the FIRST date??!!

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and @secondhander- seriously??? on the FIRST date??!!

 

Yes! How am I going to know she's the right kind of person to spend an intimate dinner together if I don't know that we can have fun together otherwise? First things first. 

 

On a more serious note, I think the traditional dating convention is broken in many ways, and I don't go on "dates." What's that supposed to mean, anyway? I spend time with people. So if I were to go lather someone up in suntan oil and jump in a shower or bed with them, then it's someone I know already from spending time together. It might be sooner or later, who knows, and who cares as long as the person has the qualities and values you want and admire. 

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 I spend time with people. So if I were to go lather someone up in suntan oil and jump in a shower or bed with them, then it's someone I know already from spending time together. It might be sooner or later, who knows, and who cares as long as the person has the qualities and values you want and admire. 

 

Accepted. If i knew the person well, and admired him, I would do the same probably. But in your first post, you hadn't mentioned details such as - you knew the person in question and admired him/her too. So i misinterpreted what you meant.

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