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KevinD

The Power of Polarity in Romance

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I'm not very interested in the topic of traditional gender roles and the norms of heterosexual relationships, but one of my criminal justice books has an interesting section about it. I wanted to share it here (is that legal? :worry:) since Delaney has not provided any statistics about gender roles in his posts. This snippet explains traditional gender roles in intimate hetero relationships (see "Why Gender Matters" p88-89). It also seeks to explain the cause of the US' high rate of teen pregnancy (it has the highest rate out of all the developed countries- see p91) and to show how traditional gender roles stigmatize women. If you read through the entire chapter, you'll notice that the traditional concepts of masculinity and feminity described there (and also described in Delaney's posts, Rand's fiction, etc) cause many statistically documented problems...

 

Source: http://www.sunypress.edu/p-5053-fighting-for-girls.aspx

SUNY_Series_in_Women_Crime_and_Criminology_Fighting_for_Girls_New_Perspectives_on_Gender_and_Violence_94_to_109.pdf

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My writings on romance have nothing to do with "traditional gender roles."

They do, whether you realize it or not. I mean, most people here seem to notice assumptions you've taken for granted.

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 I would think that would be natural.  When I discuss relationships I naturally asume the same thing since my only reference is my own relationship with my wife.  It's important however to be aware of it. 

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On 10/11/2013 at 4:03 PM, KevinD said:

(This is an article I wrote for my romantic advice blog for men, The Leading Man.)

...

I completely agree with your post here. I like this concept you have of a "Leading Man". It's too bad your blog is down, I wish I could read more of your thoughts about that concept.

Definitely agree that sexual differences are an enormously good thing and ought to be specifically appreciated / positively stressed and celebrated. I think guys who aren't comfortable or aware of these differences, whether they are being respectful or modern or merely too narrowly intellectual in their interests, not only end up with friendships at best instead of romantic relationships, but... there are fundamental human values possible to men and women in romantic relationships that come from the masculine/feminine polarity.

The value of a healthy masculine/feminine romantic relationship is nearly as fundamental a value to man as that of his life or of his rational mind. In an ideal romantic relationship, there is an extreme connection of profound significance between a man and a woman. Physically and psychologically man and woman are complementary, and in a deep sense, a completion of their respective identities.

I'm curious how you would describe "the challenge that her femininity poses to you". I'd agree there is a kind of "challenge" which is important and valuable - though not in the sense that it is a struggle. I'm not very comfortable with the level of struggle with which Ayn Rand portrays romantic relationships in her fiction. Whether it's Dominique/Roark or Dagny/Galt or other examples from her early fiction, the portrayal of men and women as enemies with their whole romance defined by their struggle against each other doesn't really demonstrate the values involved. I don't know of a single case where Rand portrayed two people actually being together in an ideal relationship, the story always ends right after they finally get together.

 

Edited by epistemologue

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