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Date Rape

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Hairnet

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Suggesting that a woman can either consent or not consent based on how drunk the man next to her is, is absurd nonsense.

I was talking about how drunk the woman was, not the man. Or whoever is the one assaulted - men can be raped, too.

Edited by Eiuol
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  • 1 month later...

 From the article:

We were all a little relieved when I decided that I’d been raped. . . And yet, rape was a powerful, loaded word — one I wasn’t sure was mine to use. . . .

I was selectively bulimic in those days. I didn’t vomit after every meal, only when the spirit moved me. So I ended up drinking on an empty stomach. . . I pounded beer after beer; I lost count, but 10 red Solo cups wouldn’t be an exaggeration. . . I preferred the happier, less uptight version of myself, especially in the company of teenage boys. . .

That fall, I desperately wanted a boyfriend and had taken to sneaking issues of Cosmopolitan magazine into my socially conservative house, poring over such articles as “10 ways to Blow Your Guy’s Mind.” . . .

 

I had a crush on a boy on the football team at a nearby all-boys high school. . . That night at the keg I saw him standing by himself, and I stumbled over to him and asked: “Tony, when are we going to make out?” He took my hand and led me into the woods, then pushed me down onto my back. We kissed briefly. I mumbled, “I want you to make me come,” my drunken attempt at talking dirty. He immediately pulled my pants and underwear down so that my backside was bare on the dirt ground. . .         [notice anything about that?]

When he started to unbutton his fly, I panicked. “We’re not having sex,” I told him.

He hovered over me. “Why not?” he asked.

I said something about the fact that we’d never hooked up before. I doubt I copped to being a virgin. Then things got hazy. Keeping my eyes open required so much effort that I dropped my head on the filthy ground. I remember seeing him over me, asking if I still wanted him to make me come. I nodded my head “yes.” It is a sign of both my naiveté and my drunkenness that I assumed he meant manually, the only way I had experienced orgasm. . .

 . . .

. . .That year, I started seeing a therapist named Sue. . . Eventually I opened up to her about that night and the evidence that pointed in one direction: the unbearable fact that I’d had sex with Tony. I was devastated. . . My therapist argued that I told him I didn’t want to have sex. She told me intoxication did not equate to permission. She called it rape. . .

. . .

My girlfriends told me Tony forced himself on me, but I’m not sure if that’s what they really believed or if they were just trying to protect my feelings. I haven’t told many men. I did tell my friend Justin in college, who pointed out I might have consented while I was blacked out. But I doubt it. . .

 

 It’s been nine years since that night in the field. I do not talk about it anymore, but I sometimes wonder about Tony: Does he remember what happened? Did he know he did something wrong? Does he think of me when he hears the word “date rape” the way I think of him?

 

She got drunk and had sex at a party because all of her friends were doing it.

She saw a therapist, likely by her parents' orders (I infer), and when she mentioned it her therapist told her that it was rape.

She lacked the guts to tell her the truth about the one decision that she made in this entire article- because girls like her "don't do things like that".

 

And now she wants sympathy, and I have to wonder whose idea that is.

Edited by Harrison Danneskjold
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