How to find or develop a passion?

[Peter Morris]

I'm always in awe of people who have one or two narrow interests and throw themselves at them with everything they are. I have always wished I had such a thing in my life.

 

Why do some people have these strong focuses? How can I develop a passion for one thing and focus on it? How can I stop thinking of other things, switching interests, dabbling and never focusing?

 

My interest are too scattered, and I start to feel down and like I'm 'missing out' whenever I focus on one thing for too long. I always think I've chosen the wrong thing or that there's something better, or that I should be doing something else in addition, or that this won't lead to any good.

 

Out of all the many fields of interest and possible careers, how can one possibly just throw themselves into one without being curious about the others? Without feeling like one is becoming too specialized and like an idiot savant? How does one know that is the right thing for them?

Edited October 14, 2014 by Peter Morris

[Eiuol]

I switch interests all the time. That's not a bad thing. There are general questions/ideas I'm interested in, like how concepts are formed, how people think ethically, cognitive science, and how people can think creatively. For me, I really wanted to understand how creativity works, so that's now a passion since I want to explore theories of mine. At the same time, I think about so many different things. This actually makes it easier for me to stay interested, and make interesting connections to other fields. Some people are into a narrow interest, but such "focus" isn't necessarily superior to interests that are all over.

[Jon Southall]

Peter, it's hard to get a true sense of someone through the internet. Are you someone who likes to move from one thing to another, maybe adventurous or enthusiastic in general, are you someone who most people would say is positive and likes the good in life above and beyond the norm? Do you have a significant other that means more to you than you'd let anyone know, but otherwise are noncommittal. Would the idea of staying on your own in hotels for prolonged periods be a nightmare?

This is a hypothesis, I might be way off the mark but I'm interested to know.

[JASKN]

Would you believe someone who said to you, "I am in awe of those people who can switch from interest to interest all the time. They learn so quickly and are good at all sorts of things."?

What is it about the idea of focusing on one thing that you like? Is there a time requirement, or some other kind of threshhold, that would cause you to change your mind about the narrowly focused person? What if the person's main focus is made obsolete by technological advances? Does that matter, If the person still enjoys his focus?

Is there anything about *not* focusing on one thing that you can see gives more of an advantage to multi-focus types of people, over single-focus people?

[Peter Morris]

Peter, it's hard to get a true sense of someone through the internet. Are you someone who likes to move from one thing to another, maybe adventurous or enthusiastic in general, are you someone who most people would say is positive and likes the good in life above and beyond the norm? Do you have a significant other that means more to you than you'd let anyone know, but otherwise are noncommittal. Would the idea of staying on your own in hotels for prolonged periods be a nightmare?

This is a hypothesis, I might be way off the mark but I'm interested to know.

 

I move from one thing to another, but I don't like it. I wish I didn't. There are a group of types of things I like which stays the same, I guess, but I often find myself wondering why I'm interested in any of it. I can't find a good reason and that bothers. I tend to start to feel guilty when I start liking one thing too much.

 

I'm not very adventurous. In some periods of my life, I have been. I'm no enthusiastic unless it's something I think will be fun. Very few things ever look fun. I've been looking for a physical activity for health reason that I could get into. I lift weights twice a week, and occasionally do some cardio when I finally force myself to do it. I think I would love to learn to dance.

 

My girlfriend did mean the world to me, but due to our differences and no sex, she lost that place in my mind, sometimes it sparks again but it soon dies. I'm noncommittal. I always have been. I've never wanted to get married or have kids. I don't see there ever being anyone who would be worth committing completely to. Marriage seems akin to death in my mind. Having kids seems like hell on earth, and I have never understood why anyone would do it. Men in marriages seem like the living dead, whatever life force they had is completely gone; you can see it in their droopy, vacant, lifeless eyes and their cowering demeanor around their overlords/wives.

 

I've had insane crushes which I keep private. I tend to ignore and act indifferent towards them. I start to hate myself for being so taken by someone. And I assume that they automatically hate my guts even if they don't know me.

 

Would the idea of staying on your own in hotels for prolonged periods be a nightmare?

No. I'm very solitary. I live alone and like it. I like being alone. If I had something to read or internet connection being alone in a hotel wouldn't be much different from my regular life. I don't care much for people. I have tried to care and socialize. I've tried to want it, but I just don't. The only people I feel an urge to engage are attractive females, since that's the only way to meet them. But talking to them is like trying to communicate with an alien species. In any case, I only need small amounts of socializing to stay sane. I have to force myself to do it because I know it keeps me happier and saner, but I have to force it. I like talking with friends who can talk about something of common interest, even if it's just TV shows, lifting weights and women. If they can talk about ideas, even if they have very different ideas, I really like it, but then I feel really stupid afterwards and wish I hadn't talked so openly.

 

Are you someone who most people would say is positive and likes the good in life above and beyond the norm?

No. People have said I'm a bit bipolar. I'm either really bright and positive, or dark and reserved. I do indeed crave and want the good in life way beyond the norm. But I think to some extent that is silly thinking. I dream a lot about being an awesome man and living an awesome life. I have always hated the idea of living a normal life like everyone else. Be normal, get a job, get married, save money, have kids, pay off your house, retire, sit around doing crosswords waiting to die. That makes me want to run and cry. It always has. But that is the life many people really want. I always thought they just did because they were told to, or because they didn't know better, but I think some people really want that kind of life. That kind of life makes me cringe. I don't think I can do anything truly great anymore, but I think I can achieve on my own modest level of ability. I certainly shirk the 'norm' with a superior kind of contempt. lol.

 

I find myself asking myself a lot recently, 'what is the point of it all?' I know the point is happiness, but it seems paradoxical in my mind. Why should I feel happy about any of it? I've rarely ever felt any happiness in my life. Even when I achieve goals I rarely feel happy. It might be happiness in the Aristotelian good life sense, but it's not happiness in the feeling good sense.

Edited October 24, 2014 by Peter Morris

[Peter Morris]

Would you believe someone who said to you, "I am in awe of those people who can switch from interest to interest all the time. They learn so quickly and are good at all sorts of things."?

What is it about the idea of focusing on one thing that you like? Is there a time requirement, or some other kind of threshhold, that would cause you to change your mind about the narrowly focused person? What if the person's main focus is made obsolete by technological advances? Does that matter, If the person still enjoys his focus?

Is there anything about *not* focusing on one thing that you can see gives more of an advantage to multi-focus types of people, over single-focus people?

Impossible. No would could possibly think that.

 

Well, I tend to think it will lead to a greater sense of purpose. I think that focus makes life have more meaning and purpose because every life action, in Rand's words, can be integrated towards that purpose. I never know what I'm doing or why. I find myself in the middle of reading something interesting and feeling profoundly stupid and hopeless. Why am I doing this? Why am I interested? How does this benefit me?

 

I have narrowed down a little bit of what it is a really like. I realized that I don't like science qua science, but I like technology and the things you can do with knowledge. Although, I found the book 'Logical Leap: Induction in Physics' one of the most exhilarating reads of my life. That was pure philosophy of science and physics. I do love theory, I do love thinking about things for its own sake, but I love what theory can do which is probably why I love theory in the first place.

 

If I could turn back time, I would have tried my hardest to get into Computer Science at university fresh out of high school at 18. I had the math skill and hobby programming skills. It would have been a great fit. I would not have felt guilty for my interest in programming which I only gave up because I thought it would make it impossible for me to find a girlfriend. In retrospect, that was a horrible mistake, but I was young and stupid.

 

I guess I lack purpose. I need some sort of integrating life purpose to orient me in life. Some main focus is what I want, and I can dabble in other things for interest if I have time, but a main focus would be nice.

 

I've thought about being a translator, perhaps of technical material to use my science/tech knowledge, from French and/or Japanese to English, but then I feel like that might be a life wasted, and not have much opportunity for growth. I always felt like I was going to do something more epic with my life, like run a gigantic technology conglomerate that makes humanoid robots like 'USR' in the movie 'I, Robot' or 'Massive Dynamic' in the Sci Fi series 'Fringe'. lol. Actually, if I had half the IQ of Elon Musk, I wouldn't mind being whatever he is.