Reblogged:What Psychological Therapy Does NOT Do

[Michael J. Hurd Ph.D.]

Psychological therapy does not change people. People change themselves; or more often, they don’t change. But when anything changes, it’s all the changed individual’s doing.

Talk to any former drug addict, to dramatize the point. That former drug addict might say, “My Higher Power did it,” or other people were crucial. But rationally speaking, who’s your higher power? Your own mind. Whether you think knowledge comes from the revelation of a God, the murky truth of “the group,” or from actual objective truths…regardless, it all filters through your own mind.

Any act of introspection is a willing engagement of one’s own mind. Nobody can make you do it. Sure, someone could compel, threaten or intimidate you into going through the motions of seeing a therapist. (This rarely lasts beyond a session or two.) But in the end, either you engage your own mind, or you don’t. Yes, there are good and bad therapists. There are competent and incompetent ones. But the most competent therapist in the world cannot work miracles on your mind without your willing engagement.

A lot of people don’t understand what psychological therapy is because they don’t really understand how the mind works. The mind has to actively engage itself. There’s always — absolutely always — a choice involved. No matter how much you credit — or blame — the efforts of another in bringing about personal change in your life, the fact will always remain: You are the one who drove it.

When people thank me for changing them, I always reply (with full sincerity): “Thank yourself. You did it.” That’s not false humility. I’m awfully smart, I’m exceedingly patient, I’m a great listener and an even greater thinker. But none of these things are of any remote value to my clients unless they do the work of thinking along with me. All of us are always in the driver’s seat of our own consciousness. It’s simply a metaphysical fact. If you’re alive and conscious, you’re driving yourself. Even if you choose to let others act or think for you, the choice to do that is on you.

This is the core of what self-responsibility means: control over your own mind, no matter what the circumstances. It’s a reality many find starting and frightening, and many express that fear in anger or rage when you suggest they’re responsible. But it’s still true. And once you see the advantages of looking at things this way, it’s the most liberating thing in the world.

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