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I Had Forgotten How Frustrating This Is

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I just got banned in my first post there. It's funny to because I tried to not act like some of the trolls do when they post crap here. I posted in the area that allows non-Christian posters and I kept my tone civil. I just gave a quick summary of primacy of existence metaphysics, why a conciousness concious only of itself is a contradiction, and that the concept of "God" violates the Law of Identity because it can not be given a rational definition that labels it's identity. Oh well, I tried. :dough:

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You have as much chance trolling in a Christian forum as one one them has here. What does work long-term is to adopt a socratic approach, PM those who seem more amendable to reason, and use the forum in other non-obvious ways [e.g. as a way to drive traffic elsewhere].

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I'll give you 3 guesses as to which one I am
I'm guessing you are "Moonglow", because it starts with the same 3 letters as "Moose" (I like how you cleverly included that clue (number '3'), in your question.)

In all seriousness though - there is nothing more frustrating, than arguing with a fundie. Most of them have been so thoroughly brainwashed, that there is no hope left for reason.

Here's a few funny fundie-related posts I've collected visiting that type of boards:

10 Signs You Are a Christian:

10. You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9. You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created directly from dirt.

8. You laugh at polytheists, but have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7. Your face turns purple when you hear the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua", including women, children and trees!

6. You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and ascended into the sky.

5. You are willing to spend your life looking for loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing the Earth is a few generations old.

4. You believe the entire population of this planet with the exception of those that share your beliefs -- though excluding those in rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving".

3. While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor and speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2. You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence prayer works. And you think the remaining 99.9% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1. You actually know alot less than atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

On God's Law

However, I do need some advice from you, regarding some elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though Lev. 19:27 expressly forbids this. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me

unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them, as per Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in

such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging

Why God Never Received Tenure at Any University

1. He only had one major publication.

2. It was in Hebrew.

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.

5. Some even doubt He wrote it Himself.

6. It may be true that He created the world, but what has He done since then?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating His results.

9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.

10. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He deleted them from the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.

13. Some say He had His son teach the class.

14. He expelled His first two students for learning.

15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed His tests.

16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

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10. When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.

Okay, I've gotta confess that this one actually made me laugh out loud.

Back when I was a fundy and used to try debating with atheists, there was one particular atheist who refused to debate me because he said that arguing with Christians was like trying to teach calculus to cats.

Well, Socrates is sitting right here with me and I just showed him some basic integral calculus problems and he looked totally confused. I now understand what the atheist meant, because it really was quite similar to my experience arguing with fundies.

Edited by Moose
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I was trying not to be a "troll" too, but I just thought the name was funny and in a way it's true because nearly everyview I hold as true would be considered "anti-Christian". Although in reality I'm not that completely or else I would be "anti-most of my family" :dough:

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This thread is hilarious! Moose, I am pretty sure I could tell which posts were yours. Eternal, I got a kick out of your lists.

On another note, when I've found myself in conversations with the bleeding-heart democrats (like my mother-in-law), I have found quoting the bible useful...In many cases (especially to protect familial relations) I have given up trying to convert (it's hopeless) but if I can change SOME thoughts in baby-steps, I consider it an accomplishment.

To speak in native language of a religious person, I like to use 2 Corinthians 9:7 .... "God loves a cheerful giver." to help dissuade the atrocity that altruism promotes, by denying that a person SHOULD give out of obligation to a god. I realize that my mother-in-law will never be converted to Objectivism, so my husband and I try to bring her a little closer to rationality in whatever way is accessible to her (which is only the bible.) When arguing with her and other people who find verse from the bible the last word, this is one quote I can appeal to people who want to justify taxing social welfare. (How the rest of the quotes are justified beats me.) Bible fanatics will take what is convenient for them and ignore the rest (like the quotes in the previous list.)

Meanwhile, I have resigned to the hopelessness of converting most zealots, but have been trying to resort to communicating on their terms (if not avoiding altogether.)

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The worst part about the whole thing is that, in the end, if Christians are right, they get to gloat and rub it in our faces. If we're right, we won't be around to enjoy the victory.

That's a joke right? After spending so much time ridiculing Christianity why do you think it has any validity?

Edited by Myself
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That's a joke right? After spending so much time ridiculing Christianity why do you think it has any validity?

I don't think it has any validity. Yes, it was a joke.

An atheist tombstone should read:

"All dressed up, and nowhere to go..."

My high school Bible teacher once told a joke called the atheist's prayer:

Dear God, if there is a God,

Save my soul, if I have a soul,

So I won't go to Hell, if there is a Hell.

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a pretty clever parallel between Kissing Hank's Ass, and worshipping God.

Here's the Zen-buddhist version of it:

What is the sound of one lip kissing ass? If you answer this question correctly on our surrealistic game show, you can win a million dollars, but even before you get the prize you won't want it. Would you like some tea?

And here's the Objectivist version:

Screw Hank and Karl! I can make my own million dollars... right after I kick both of their asses.

Edited by Felix
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Ok, I just checked out the thread...and there is a post by someone named spanishInquisitor on page 4 that, well, stands out.

"Thank you Kind God for begetting diseases." :lol:

I'm guessing you are "Moonglow", because it starts with the same 3 letters as "Moose" (I like how you cleverly included that clue (number '3'), in your question.)

I just re-read this comment after reading the Bible Database thread and about lost it. Moose definitely needs to use his Moonglow Avatar on this site...I think it will go over quite well.

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Ok, I just checked out the thread...and there is a post by someone named spanishInquisitor on page 4 that, well, stands out.

"Thank you Kind God for begetting diseases."

That would be me - I just couldn't help myself, and ended up trolling that thread.
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  • 2 weeks later...
The worst part about the whole thing is that, in the end, if Christians are right, they get to gloat and rub it in our faces. If we're right, we won't be around to enjoy the victory.

What counts is when we ARE around, not when we aren't, wouldn't you say?

It could be part of the reason why christians are in total denial of reality. In focusing on 'heaven' beyond earth, and renouncing life as it is NOW, they make 'hell' for themselves on earth. Consider for example, the wars that have been fought over religion. Perhaps the homicide of so-called witches, jews in nazi germany, or the stoning of adulterous women in biblical records. What kind of perverted sense of life is that?

So considering their idea of heaven? Quite honestly I'd rather be on earth than become some lethargic fat naked angel strumming at a harp, deprived even of something to think about that I'd done in life that bore some semblance of being significant.

So who's gloating in the end? Certainly not the people who never lived life in the true sense of the word, and who then proceeded to laze about in a pacifist's paradise which they never earned?

No, I'd say the truly living have more of a laugh than those who never lived at all, no matter what the outcome.

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