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50 Shades

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aleph_1

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Okay, I was compelled to see this movie by my wife who has read all three novels in this series. However, this movie struck me as based on values exactly antithetical to Oist values. The main character, Anastasia, was a mouse-like college senior that a billionaire fell into an obsession over because he felt he could dominate her. She didn't bring much to the relationship except submission. What he saw in her is beyond me. He, considering the relationship as a contract, didn't seem to bring much of value either. Their relationship was certainly not a celebration of values.

My wife has asked me before to read the series in order to better understand what women want. The only lesson I take from it is that women like fat wallets that can bring them a measure of escape. What am I missing?

Edited by aleph_1
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This is why I liked the movie: Jamie Dornan is a former model whose old photo shoots have been popping up again all over the net because of his new *ahem* exposure. So, I get the benefit all the audience ladies are looking for without any desire to see the nonsense in motion.

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I'm tempted to leave it as-is, but is there a sliver of a possibility that something philosophically worthwhile could be pulled from this book? *Something* provided motivation for the thread..

I hope that the modified post leaves more grist for the mill, however meager given the subject matter.

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My wife has asked me before to read the series in order to better understand what women want.

One thing I like about being a homo is I will never have to figure this out. Not reading the book but comparing what's seeped into the culture with other similar seepings, I'd say women want a man who knows what he wants. Some insight, I know! Edited by JASKN
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Aleph, I too was repulsed that any woman would want to be treated this way. Likewise that any man would want a woman who desired to be dominated. I went in thinking it was a kind of sexual plaything that the two characters thought might be fun because they had done everything else they could think of. When I discovered that it was a serious " me hurting you makes me feel good because I was hurt as a helpless little boy" BS, I was disgusted.

The only good thing I can say is that at least the female character was turned off once she realized how grey the weakling was....

Edit:

Aleph said:

My wife has asked me before to read the series in order to better understand what women want.

What a woman with self esteem, equipped to value and desire without regret or timidity wants, is the aggression and enthusiasm of a man who's values are so clear to him, and present in her, that he persues her as though he couldn't stop himself from expressing it physically. Not because she needs him to make her believe she is irresistible, but because she knows that her values are his and he knows she possesses them. Edited by Plasmatic
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  • 3 months later...

Yeah, I've actually talked to folks in the BDSM community, and they think 50 Shades of Grey is ridiculous.

 

It may give some understanding of what women want, or at least what Aleph_1's wife wants. But this only relates to basic biological drives, and does not have any moral value beyond its usefulness in pleasing your wife and helping the relationship.

 

 

Not reading the book but comparing what's seeped into the culture with other similar seepings, I'd say women want a man who knows what he wants.

 

I think this does actually have some merit. I think that our current culture has taught men to be submissive to women, and that to have any romantic standards (Like not being overweight) or wanting anything from women other than to have sex occasionally is sexist. And even wanting sex is sexist because it's "objectifying" women.

 

So men end up crawling on their hands and knees to please women, and this turns women off because no one wants to be with someone like that.

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