Shan

What a wonderful post. Your parents should be proud. I hope I do as well. My boys are 9,7, and 5 right now. I am actually looking forward to the teenage years. While every day is it's own definition of chaos, it is also always educational and fun for me! I hope when mine are grown they feel for me how you feel for your parents!

I love that you wrote this! I have 3 boys and you are exactly correct. We are much more laid back with our younger children than with the older. The reason is that you didn't come with an owners manual! The first child is like a guinea pig. He/she is the experiment and every time you do something that is totally contrary to what we have taught, we freak out. We love you and want to help you and teach you feel like we have failed. Then, a couple of years later, your brother starts doing the same types of things and we say ok, maybe it's just a boy thing but it's still not ok. Then you get to the 3rd child and you are just tired. You still try to teach the correct morals and principles, but you know by this time it's something they are going to go through no matter what you do. You sit back and let them know you are there. I know the experiment analogy probably sounds perverse. Making the decision to have a child is a completely selfish one. You are doing it for yourself, no one else. I had all these huge ideas and ideals about the Mother I would be. About 2 weeks after my oldest was born, sleep deprivation and reality set in. I somehow had signed up to raise another PERSON! I wouldn't change any of them for anything but you just cannot understand the view from a parents perspective until you are one.

I just joined tonight....I am raising 3 boys myself. I look forward to hearing more about yours. Mine are 5, 7, and 9. Utter chaos around here but on the whole they are growing up to be great men!

I'm just jumping in here. I found this site while looking for Objectivism literature for Children online. I am raising 3 boys trying to balance Objectivist philosophy with good old fashioned values. Bu old fashioned, I mean the ones my Grandparents were raised with, work hard at something you love and you will succeed to the extent you work at it. I've been reading the thread here and I feel I need to comment. While I agree with raising our children to be individuals, it is also our duty as parents to teach self control and discipline. We can't do this if we allow our children they can have whatever they want when they want it, behave they way they want when they want. Even from a very young age, children need to be taught respect for others as well as themselves. I'm not talking altruism here, you can't make it through school or any field of business without it. "She is almost one year old now. Although we've been spoiling her and treating her like she can do no wrong, I have observed from about the 8th month onward, an increasing attitude from her. She wants to do certain things and when she can't get her way, the wailing begins." I agree that this is normal for an 8 month old, but when the child gets to be 2, 3, or 4 and has had no discipline until then, you are setting yourself up to be the puppet of your child. They will not respect you if they know they can walk all over you and you will be better off putting them in public school than trying to homeschool a child that will not listen to you. Basic right/wrong, self respect and respect for others can be and should be taught from a very young age. That being said, your daughter seems like a beautiful, normal baby. They all grow and mature at different rates. I know 2 little boys that are twins, 3 yrs old. One is potty trained, speaks well and is learning his letters. The other has no interest in potty training and is still working on clear speaking. They are both normal. They were born a few minutes apart and are completely different developmentally. It will all work out in the end and the slower boy may grow up to be the more successful. My second son was on the bottle until he was 18 months old. He didn't even get a tooth until 15 months. Just relax and let her find her way with those things and don't worry that saying no is going to somehow cause her to be dependent. She can still be an individual without being spoiled. Kids do wrong, it's part of being a kid. It's our job to teach them the right things without suppressing their innate curiosity and sense of self.