VoltageControl

Why in the first place do people consider it their right to dictate what a person spends their life doing? To me it seems that it doesn't matter if someone is a CEO or a painter, if this is within the pursuit of their own happiness, and they are not sacrificing others or themselves, why not? Good luck trying to explain to the average person that not every leader in a field isn't a conniving asshole who wishes to steal from the "little guy". A Selfish person who is successful most certainly can benefit far more people by the the achievement of their own values rather than struggling doing something they are not suited for or not living up to their potential. Of course the highly Leftist will see this as the "trickle down" theory popularized during the Reagan era, which since it doesn't automatically save the sacred middle class, is evil. People watch too many movies and think the news media doesn't have a bias.

OK. Sometimes text on its own can be interpreted in different ways. I've been learning to cultivate a bit of a go-with-the-flow attitude where fear doesn't get in the way as much.

The work hard and with a bit of pluck and luck you'll succeed is a dangerous Horatio Algier meme. The control we have over the world and the people in it may be low, but there have been those who are able to engineer the circumstances they wish, working within their limitations, no matter how harsh they are. Yes, a lot of businesses fail, so do a lot of people who strive for something. The people who sometimes end up winning are the ones who persist and learn from what went wrong. Now, I am of course not saying the underdog always wins. That would be insane. I am referring to someone who screws up but learns from their mistakes and improves. You also underestimate the power of connections, either personal or the way your work connects with others. Being observant is crucial too, as is finding ways to forge opportunity rather than wait for someone to grant it to you.

I suggest splitting the thread. This is WAY more insightful. I'm glad it evolved into something worthwhile.

I think Rand meant that sacrificing one's work and life for the sake of their family was what was evil. How many people give up way too much of themselves for friends and family and are drained from doing so? Plenty! They are all the worse for it. Without the energy available from catering to their own needs, how can one be there for who they value? One can still value themselves and value other people. It is not black and white. This is obviously a huge problem with our society. It seems to be a choice between meaning and money; putting the self first,and giving to others. It is possible for these all to intersect if one is rational about their approach. After all, when we fly on an aircraft the safety instructions mention putting on one's oxygen mask before helping others. It's a great metaphor.

Maybe Rand herself didn't value family. But I would find it rational to ensure the success and prosperity of close friends and family by helping them grow into people who are able to provide some sort of value, but not at the expense of myself.

I could be Kebab Man, giver of meat and veggie treats. Those stage lights get hot, you could roast a chicken.

I decided I'm definitely not going to try outdoing someone like Lady Gaga or acting like an 18 year old, so no meat outfits or skinny jeans. I wil however, not act like I'm 65 even when I am 65 :-) I will ensure I produce as high quality work as possible, and find a way to stand out. BTW, Voltage Control is short for Voltage Controlled Oscillator, the circuit in an analogue synthesizer which makes the sound itself. Chose it as a VCO can create sounds with very little, but has infinite possibility. It may not be a violin, but it has a sound all its own.

Was scary as hell to approach people. I had to be careful and show that I wished to communicate out of respect, rather than to get something for free, which was not my intention. But, I learned that while some people will say no, or even ignore you, or think you're nuts. Some people will say yes, and some will have faith in others.

There have even been cases where someone did get all the advantages in life (being born to wealth, having supportive friends and family, etc.) and still go off the deep end. I have managed to connect with people all over the world thanks to technology. One is a video game music composer in Europe who is releasing his first music just for him after making music for others for 20 some years. His brother had a couple number 1 hits in a couple European countries, and still produces music professionally to this day. I've connected with a couple of pro synth preset designers who gave me a lot of practical advice on how to shape better sounds, as well as people who have built and designed synths. I connected with a British man who used to run the UK branch of a synthesizer company which made a lot of advances in the 1980s as well as the inventor. Both the inventor and person who ran the company have moved on, one still makes software and the other now teaches blind and autistic children how to create music. I speak to one of his blind students. She is an accomplished synthesist, but she can't do everything she wants since none of the software for making music has been designed with blind people in mind, or at least has the capability to be used by blind people. The only way for her to use things is to memorize how they are laid out, or get help from someone else. She wishes to remain as independent as possible. I'd really like to succeed so I could obtain the resources necessary to make music and learning how to create more accessible to more people. Someone shouldn't have to spend a lot of money or conform to the world in order to create.

Therapy is useful. However, it is merely a tool. It has taken me a long time to work through a lot of my issues. Sometimes I slip, as I have here. The truth is, none of us knows the future. It worth pursuing what you value at any age. We only have one life. I too, am being way too hard on myself as your young friend is. However, I have also seen that people even if they achieve what they value can still be hard on themselves and even be unhappy. As for being realistic, that's a double edged sword. On one hand, people can accomplish amazing things which others think they cannot do, in spite of their circumstances and perceived ability (or lack there of). Happens all the time. On the other hand those amazing things may not be possible, which also happens all the time. All we can do is strive to develop ourselves as best as we possibly can, take risks, and learn from our success and failure.

@bluecherry Good lord! At 18! Wow. You'd better get this person to come to their senses. @whYNot You're perfectly right. Even if someone does manage to become highly regarded in any genre at any age (since we do see cases of someone doing well past the age of 25), it doesn't always last. The people who do endure over the years I have observed, are always growing, and always changing. They must do it out of love, and this energy must help them push through. Perhaps it is this love which comes through in what they do. They also seem to become savvy at promoting themselves and connecting with their audience. After all, people tend to gravitate towards a passionate person who is always learning and improving, as do all people who master something in the arts/business. Creativity and music are important. I see that there is much that can be done to improve the way we interact with sound and how we create it, and have fun with it. This means there are possible entrepreneurial applications to this. It is important to connect with others, constantly learn and improve. I enjoy that a great deal. Getting feedback from others. Tweaking, experimenting, etc. I need to stop taking everything so seriously, making it a life or death situation. @Michele I am trying too hard to be goal-oriented, when I am more process oriented. It is more important that I do something, put in the best effort I can. That is all a person can do. None of us has complete control over circumstances, in spite of what people say. All I can say is, I don't want to be an old man and regret that I did not put effort into what I value.

Anyway, first and foremost, I would like to apologize for this thread. I am extremely insecure, and I realized that by having my life being about "accomplishments" and "proving myself", I give away complete control of my life to other people, leading to toxic people being in it.

People only seem to care about you if you accomplish things. Maybe if I can accomplish something, I might be considered valuable and get the love and support I missed out on. People only seem to care if you have some sort of status in society. You are regarded as trash if you don't.

@ I don't look my age. People say I look about 23-25 depending on who it is. I don't smoke and I don't drink. As much as I feel anxious about it, I've decided to take after Moby and Jordan Rudess, both of whom didn't have their success until 34, and are still going strong. Jordan Rudess is also quite the entrepreneur, owning a company which creates music apps, has written a couple of books on keyboard technique and even produced various tutorials. He's quite the marketer as well.