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franked

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franked last won the day on June 7 2012

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About franked

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  1. I brought this topic up because of two events that recently has happened to me: - I have discovered that my male best friend's political views are fascistic (with him even saying that he admires Hitler) and have decided to distance away from him - a friend of mine suggested to me the following: imagine if your female best friend was super-ugly, would you still be friends? also, imagine if she asked you out on a date, wouldn't you accept it? his conclusion is that we're not real friends and I'm just wasting my time
  2. I have observed throughout my life that it is near impossible to have a good, long-term friend of the opposite sex. The reasons I have come up for this are: - you become attracted sexually to the other person and want to date and not just be friends - your interests are very different What are your experiences regarding this? Thanks.
  3. I am happy to say that I have completely moved on Francis and am now going out with Julie. Francis and I met at a party, she then proceeded to dance with her date for 1 hour just beside where me and my friends were. She tried to greet me but I didn't respond. If someday she comes at peace, we'll hopefully try to be friends again. No problem if that happens , though. I'm glad that I have learned a lot with this situation: - always think a lot before taking an important decision. like Warren Buffett says, you can always call someone a son-of-a-bitch tomorrow - be careful mixing up friends and dates - people will backstab you Best regards, Frank
  4. Alfa, I believe you are right on almost every account. The only thing I disagree with you is that I really wanted (and do want) to going back to being just best friends. Now Francis doesn't want to even talk to me, and says she will never be friend again. However, I talked with two of our great mutual friends who told me that she frequently does that and come back around later -- time will tell.
  5. .If I had followed this advice, she would have just been awkward and said no. The way I did it it's a lot easier to kiss her and try a relationship from that Did you tell her? "I feel ignored and it's making me pissed. I don't have any regrets about what happened and ignoring it is not going to change anything, so either talk to me or we end this here". I obviously was not going to put her on the spot 4 days after we kissed -- she was probably very confused and needed time. This is a very immature and passive-agressive action. It's a consequence of avoiding the real issue and instead playing her games of ignoring and jealousy. True, I admit I made a mistake. Tell what to whom? If you're just friends with Francis you don't owe it to her to tell who you kiss or sleep with. If Julie is getting the wrong idea about what you want from her you should make it clear where you stand. I know I don't know her, but she was my best friend and I felt I should be honest about what I did so she didn't discover the truth from someone else (highly likely).
  6. Thanks for the help guys. An update to my situation: before I even told her Francis about Julie, she berated me for being a horrible friend, saying I just want her pain, that I frequently lie to her. I asked for examples of that, but she didn't give me any. When I told her about Julie, she said "whatever, I like don't hate her, not that it's your business". She said she doesn't want someone like me anymore in her life and don't want to be friends. Summarizing, she treated me horribly, and I ended the conversation telling her to remember our great times together and that whenever she changed her mind, I was open to being friends again. Regarding Julie, I am getting more attracted to her (both her beauty and niceness) by the day. We're going out on Friday.
  7. I guess I believed I betrayed her because one of my main motivation of going out and kissing Julie was to revenge Francis. Essentially, "if you don't want me, then I'll be with the person you hate". That doesn't seem proper behaviour regarding your best friend. (Of course, I also believe that the way Francis treated me was horrible, but that shouldn't excuse my bad behaviour.)
  8. According to what I remember Francis talking about her, Julia bad-mouthed her behind her back to mutual friends after Francis dated a boy Julie was also interested in. Mary, my cousin, also says she's not a good person, but from what I have seen she cares a lot about other people (the day after we kissed she FB'ed me that she wasn't unhappy at all at Francis and that wanted me and Francis to go back to being besties).
  9. Yes, Francis provides me with great value: she's fun, kind, we share the same interests in all kinds of areas. I am happy just by being next to her. What I am have not made it clear is that she hates Julie and have before expressly told me not to even talk to her. Another thing to consider is if I don't tell her soon she may find out from someone else that saw us.
  10. For over two months, I was in love with my best friend (Francis). Two weeks ago, we kissed at a party while she was partly drunk. Gradually, she started ignoring me (something I only realize now). 3 days after the kiss, I asked her out, and she said no, saying the maximum we would be would be friends. I felt horrible and used obviously, but since I still love her as a person I was delighted with going back to being best friends. However, she continued to gradually ignore me (maybe because she felt awkward around me), and started complaining crazily about random things, like me responding to what her ex (which I thought she was friends with) commented on my FB wall (a comedy video, nothing relevant). She said I treated her awfully, which was completely untrue, since I have always treated her like my sister and best friend, and that I was rude to everyone. Last Friday, we had a college party, and when I arrived there and greeted her, she completely ignored me, and didn't want to talk to me. I was completely PISSED. Unfortunately, I chose to drink heavily, which was a huge mistake. Subconsciently wanting revenge, I called up a girl I knew she hated (Julie) and asked if I could go with her to her school's party. She accepted, and at the party I seduced her and we kissed. While I do think this girl is kind and attractive, I clearly did it out of spite, not only attraction. After this, I have been completely sad, crying every day. I have told everything to my cousin (Mary), which is also my best friend's best friend. I am planning to tell everything to Francis the next day I see her, which will be Wednesday. Is this proper action? What should I do? Can I ever get my friends back? I am completely lost and seeking for help. Thanks a bunch, Frank.
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