never_seen_boobs
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Today I arranged an encounter with an escort, my first time doing so, with the full awareness that it was an act of evasion. Although she was a very attractive young woman, and I am a healthy young adult male not suffering from any form of ED, I did not get aroused during the session. Her breasts, though real and spectacular, were nothing more than meaningless rubbery mounds of flesh in my hands, and I felt ridiculous and embarrassed as I touched them, as would if I was groping a mannequin at the mall in view of the other shoppers. I felt nothing even as she performed oral sex on me, during the middle of which I decided to dismiss myself without doing anything more. Do you think my Objectivist philosophical convictions prevented me fromf feeling sexual desire for the girl?
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Sorry if this post seems crass...that's not my intent. but anyway. I have never seen boobs IRL before and really want to. Since a willing girl is not currently available to me, I have been considering hiring an escort. My goals for the encounter would simply be to view, feel and play with her tittays, but I would NOT want to do full service. So today I looked up a reviewed escort with a good repuation and acceptable boobs in my area who does outcalls and talked to her on the phone. She agreed to come and I told her I would text her my address, but when I hung up, I just couldn't do it. I'm just uncomfortable with the idea of sitting there intimately gawking and touching someone I don't even know and wouldn't like if I did. I would be so nervous, and possibly so disgusted with myself that I might not even be able to get aroused. The fakeness of it would ruin it for me, and if I did get aroused, I'd be afraid that I would decide to go for full service in the heat of the moment, and then be totally disgusted with myself the moment it was over. It will also cost $180 to get her out here (she charges the 1 hr rate minimum for outcalls), and even though this particular hooker has a good reputation, I'm scared of pimps/bodyguards if she has one, and scared of the sex industry in general. So it's been half an hour since I talked to her and I still haven't send her my address yet and probably won't. What's your guys' opinion on this?