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tnunamak

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Everything posted by tnunamak

  1. It looks like I'm the gears have been put into motion for me to start doing physics, I'm going to sit in the physics I class then go from there next semester.
  2. Inspector Yes, after giving it a bit of thought, I think I agree with that. The only thing I might say is that I don't know that I would say that the alcohol made me act completely irrationally. I really did like her, and although I probably went further than I would have otherwise, I don't think I would have prevented something from happening if the alcohol was not a factor.
  3. I guess you make a fair comparison there (EDIT: directed to Pancho). I am still in the process of reading Atlas Shrugged, and one thing that struck me was when Rearden is about to sign away the rights to his metal, and he talks about how he damned himself for what was actually one of his greater qualities, the fact that his body was able to naturally act in accordance with his mind, like when he got excited at the first sight of Dagny. When I read this I kind of thought of it as the end result of years of sticking to principles, and it seems like an ideal goal to strive for. I suppose trying to derive entertainment value from women in that manner is kind of going against that idea. I am really just trying to clearly understand where I consider my boundaries to be and why... I think I have learned a lot about myself in the last 2 days...
  4. What I didn't know beforehand is that she would act as if nothing happened and call it a mistake. Looking at it in the context of what I knew at the time, any judgements about her character that I would deduce from her actions, would be judgements that would apply to my own character as well (possibly moreso, I kind of initiated most of what happened), considering that I was just as willing to do what we did. So working at it backwards, did I hold myself to standards that I value? I think I would safely say yes to that. So in that context I would almost feel as if I didn't have anything against what she did. Now that I have reason to believe that her motives were different from what I thought they were, however, I can say that I can't get the same value from her again. Does she have any other value to offer? Entertainment value perhaps? That's something I'll have to think about a little.
  5. Firstly, I wouldn't exactly call myself a "random male." I have known her for a few months, we just don't see eachother that frequently. We have had a fair share of conversation, in fact, ironically enough she is one of the few people to have recognized Atlas Shrugged in my room, and says it's her favorite book... Also, she knows my roommate and some of my other close friends well enough that I wouldn't consider her a random girl. Secondly, is hanging out with a girl like that something I value? Well, let's start from the context of the situation as it happened. I didn't know anything about how she supposedly does stuff like this all of the time with different guys, so my estimations of her motive were not the same as they are now that I have learned about those things. Now, would I hold against her the fact that she would be so quick to do with me the things she did? Honestly, before I learned more about her, in comparison to other girls I know, she seemed to have some pretty attractive intellectual qualities. I would have liked to think that what happened with us happened because we liked certain qualities about eachother that were not as easy to find as looking to some random guy or girl. I don't mean that to too great an extent, because obviously I didn't know terribly well, but at least to the extent that it was a factor in why the whole thing happened. I think what might be bothering me is that under what I thought were the circumstances, I wouldn't (and didn't) see a problem with doing what I did, but now it isn't comforting to know that the situation wasn't really what I thought it was. My follow-up question to that would be whether it wouldn't bother me if I had known the reality of the situation up front, which would have changed the nature of the experience from my perspective. That is a difficult question for me to answer directly.
  6. Am I looking to them to ask how I should live my life? My intention is to get different perspectives on the situation, and hopefully find a clear one that makes sense to me and that I can evaluate myself. I think this is a key part of the issue... I have very firm idea about my own standards, as long as it doesn't have to do with my evaluation of other people. What gains do I expect to make from socializing with others? To be honest, I can't say I really know the complete answer to that. I supose that I interact with my close friends because it makes certain activities more enjoyable, conversation included (you need two or more people for conversation). Romantically, where does this episode fit in? Perhaps it falls more along the lines of learning where I stand. I will be the first to admit that I haven't had a lot of experience with the opposite gender, mainly because I have never felt like putting too much effort into pursuing something/someone that I didn't feel was at a pretty high standard. If in the past things like this had happened, where I didn't have to do much to initiate it myself, I probably couldn't say that. Whether that is good or bad, I honestly don't have a strong opinion about... Why does it make any difference to me about what she does with other guys? I have thought about that, and I'm not whether it does or doesn't. Have I betrayed my principles? I suppose that is what I am really asking, but I don't know where to start in answering it. If you were to ask me something like, 'Did you betray your principles by cheating on a test,' or 'Did you betray your principles by doing a lazy job on a project,' I could give you a very definitive, logical answer. When it comes to whether I betray my principles because of the nature of my interactions with other people, the question becomes a little harder to answer. One thing I can say is that I have always held myself to high standards, but have never expected any sort of standards from anyone else. For example, if I decide to team up with someone to work on an assignment, and they do a bad job, then I try not to blame them. Next time I pick a different partner or work by myself. Whether this principle applies to the situation... maybe you can help me answer that. In regard to possible long-term consequences on my part, I don't see too many practicle problems arising. Rumors? Oh well, I don't have any expectations about how people should regard me. If they are the kind of people to judge me, then I have little reason to consider their thoughts about me, unless of course they were connected to me in some way, like if they were my parents, but the chances of something like that happening are too negligible to consider. As far as consequences on her part go, I am sure that she was fully aware of what she was doing, and I definitely didn't rush her into it or neglect to give her a chance to slow down or stop. As far as I know, I didn't hurt her. Did I take advantage of her? Only as much as one intoxicated individual can take advantage of another. Despite my intoxication, I did make the conscious effort to tell myself where I would draw the line as far as how far I would go with her, and I think considering the situation it was reasonable. I think the general 'vibe' is, "it was fun but we don't need to talk about it." This doesn't seem to make things akward between us. The friend I really talked to about it is one of my good friends from this school who transferred from here (Texas) to Atlanta. I have been pretty careful not to say too much to too many people. As far as the rumors go, I am a little skeptical but at the same time I wouldn't be shocked to know they were true. They are all from the same string of sources (a certain person who told another certain person who told my friend), so obviously they aren't 100% reliable, but I'm trying to look at things in the context of a worst-case scenario. Thanks for all the feedback guys
  7. The story: So last night my roommate went out of town for his brothers birthday party and was going to be gone overnight. I had just finished a project and was about to just relax alone for the night, when a girl I know came to my room to visit. We ended up watching a movie (American Wedding), and about halfway through it my friend next door is yelling about how he won $500 and has a bunch of cheap alcohol and says we can have as much as we like. Well, the girl decides she wants some cheap wine so we bring it into my room and have a few glasses as we are watching the movie and light conversation. By the end of the movie, she is sitting on my lap and we are getting a little touchy-feely. She tells me I should give her a massage, so we move to my bed and basically, it develops into heavy making out and for those familiar with the language, second base. She ends up sleeping in my bed until about 6AM, then wakes up and says she has to go (she lives down the hall). This morning she leaves me a message saying she's sorry about last night, she didn't mean for it to happen. I don't talk to her at all until about 9PM and just stop in her room to make sure we are still on good terms and everything, which we are. Anyway, I am talking to my friend about it later, and he tells me about how she makes out with guys all the time, and with one particular guy goes even further. Basically, she does stuff like this a lot. The question(s): I enjoyed it all while it was taking place, but after thinking about it I am wondering about a few things. What things did I do that were immoral? Were some of the things that I did which were not immoral, only okay because of my ignorance to some of the things she does/has done? How should I have acted in the situation, and if I should have stopped, where do I draw the line? Now, since I know these things about her, would it be immoral to to it again? I would appreciate any input you guys are willing to offer, I'm not really sure about the situation.
  8. I just came across this article and it answers a lot of my questions about the nature of sexuality. http://www.amberpawlik.com/Gender.html ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Roots of Gender: Defining Femininity and Masculinity Just as Rand based the conclusions in philosophy on man’s nature, so the conclusions in sexuality must be based on the nature of man and the nature of woman. Masculinity is designed based upon the nature of man, and femininity is designed based upon the nature of woman. The current cultural mantra is that gender, the sexual psychology of a person, and sex, the biological sex of a person, are irrelevant to each other. Masculinity and femininity, it is preached, have no connection to being male or female – men can be feminine, masculine or both and women can be feminine, masculine or both. By definition, this is illogical. . . . [Edited to trim down quotation--Matt.]
  9. Thanks. I am still majoring in computer science, I will just be taking physics on as a second major. Maybe I should show you the physics and math majors. Physics: Math: As you can see, the physics major entails taking math through linear algebra and differntial equations, whereas the math major will give me no physics. Considering this, would math still be the better choice in your opinion?
  10. Not really, I like math but I think I would prefer more of a focus on whatever science, where I would just pull from math whenever I needed to. The curriculum is set up so that I will have to take plenty of classes that don't fit my field, but I don't usually try very hard in those classes or pay attention too much (I get decent enough grades). I am taking things like art history, so if they end up helping me... great. Until recently, raw science and math were never very exciting to me in themselves, but lately I've been applying higher level math like calculus to computer science and my feelings about math have changed drastically. I like it now . Between discovering new concepts in science, and applying existing ones, I think I would like both, but if it comes to something like researching in a lab, or building things as an engineer, engineering sounds more appealing, if that's what you mean. Between math and physics, which would you consider more important for engineering (I can do a math major or physics major)? I ask in case you don't read my response to xavier below. You say that math is more important than physics... Why? Everyone I have talked to, including a very bright computer science professor who has an astrophysics phD, and who's word I take very seriously, say that physics would be more useful than math. You are the first engineer I have talked to though, and you seem to think otherwise. So now I'm back to the question of, if I want to do engineering in grad school, would math or physics be more helpful? And when you say senior level math, what level are we talking about? One thing I haven't considered until now, is to just forget about getting a second major, and take engineering/math/physics classes that wouldn't amount to anything on paper, but would help me in grad school. I don't know if I like the idea of that, but if you guys have any thoughts about it, I'd be glad to hear them.
  11. So what about the places in math where you still need sin and cos, outside of trig? For example... e ^ix = sin(x) + cos(x) How do you represent that without sin and cos?
  12. Hi guys, If you don't want to read all of the boring background info, just skip to the asteriks** to get to the meat of my question. I'm in the first semester of my sophomore year of undergrad, and up until now my plan was to major in computer science, major in business, and get a minor in physical education. I chose comp. sci. because I liked it (I'm liking it more and more now), I chose business because I want to work for myself, and I chose the PE minor because it's only 6 classes and it's the only thing that nutrition, exercise physiology etc would count for, and I wanted to take those. Now I'm having second thoughts about business. I'm taking 18 hours a semester, which is the maximum course load you can take (without paying extra per class), and after taking 2 econ classes, management, and marketing, I've kind of decided that I'm not getting what I wanted out of business, and I'm not enjoying it. After deciding to drop business, tons of possibilities began to make themselves visible in my mind. I really like the idea of engineering; I took an engineering graphics class in high school drawing things in Auto-CAD but hadn't given it much thought since then. I've always liked to build/create things (one reason I'm drawn to computer science), and after applying higher level math to computer science, I've found that math isn't so bad when I'm using it for my own purpose. Engineering seems to fit pretty well. The problem is that the engineering major here is over 80 hours; you get here as a freshman and your schedule is laid out for you for the next four years, which is unique here because it's a liberal arts school. I don't even know if it would be possible to finish an engineering major if I stayed here for an extra year. I had a lengthy discussion with a friend of mine who hasn't made up his mind on what he wants to do. He said he is considering engineering, but it obviously too late (for either of us). The alternative would be to put it off until grad school, which I have already planned on going to anyway. **In the mean time, it would seem like a good idea to put my left over hours towards something of use, and if I plan on doing engineering, physics seems like the best choice. The major is only 30 hours, and if I take a few summer classes I should be able to pull it off. The risks are basically 1) It just becomes too much work to do and I fail. I don't like to think about this one though, I am sure I can do it if I push myself hard enough. 2) I end up not liking engineering, which would be a very painful discovery, because I will have invested an enourmous amount of energy into it by the time I start doing it in grad school. The potential benefit is that I might come to love engineering, or even physics, more than I thought and my career choice will be easy. There are certain aspects of it that I already know I will enjoy, but there might be others I run into that detract from the whole thing. Only experience will tell. I will be working pretty much non-stop. I have no illusions about that. I have never worked like that before, so I am not completely sure if I can handle it. I would guess that I can do it but I don't know at what cost or side effect. I am very determined. My question is, does my plan seem realistic and will it get me where I am hoping to go? Does anyone have any suggestions for me? I would be glad to hear any comments you guys have. Thanks Tim
  13. I will admit up front that there is a part of Objectivism that I am still trying to understand and internalize, pertaining to forming moral principles and applying them, which is why I was careful with my choice of words. If a single vote is worth it, then the analogy would apply in the same way to joining the military for the sole reason of maintaining one's freedom. Otherwise, vice versa. If voting is worth it, then joining the military might be. If it is not, then joining would be immoral, by the absolute nature of the principle. Which of the two it actually is, maybe you can explain to me in a manner that I can understand. I sure would appreciate it . David, that certainly makes sense, but I'm not sure that I would be able to see myself, or any other single person, having a major effect in the nation's military, especially considering the limitations that are placed on the individual. Even as an officer, my father just retired from the air force with plenty of reasons to dislike it. He was both a pilot and a computer programmer, and said that he was constantly being restricted by his commanding officer in programming, who knew nothing about computers, and his flights were always planned to where he had little freedom over where he went, even as an instructor pilot. He basically couldn't make decisions for himself, even when he was the expert in the situation. I would hate to live like that. In addition, the military is very effective at breaking the indivual down and building him back up as a member of the group, basically erasing his identiy and teaching him not to think for himself. As a society, sure it's effective. As an individual, I couldn't do it.
  14. If you are talking about how he was inspired by the idea of freedom and what the military can do, making him dream to be a soldier and love it, then sure. But if he is doing it for the reason that he can maintain his freedom, then this is no different from thinking that your vote will change the outcome of an election -- except in this case your life changes to accomdate your decision.
  15. DWP, I can follow the thought process of rationalizing morality in this way pretty well, it will just take some time before I can internalize it and really understand it. Thanks for explaining it.
  16. I would find it hard to believe that many men are effeminate by nature. A few years ago in high school I developed a self-improvement campaign. I was extremely insecure but also very conscious of my 'inadequacies', part of that, I believe, due to being overly sensitive and in general not masculine. I learned to become socially adept but also more focused on doing the things I should be doing. Objectivism is where I am at right now, I am still learning about it but I am really starting to accept it. Over the last few years I have become more focused, more self-centered, more confident, I have been enjoying life a lot more, but most importantly, I have become more masculine. Why? Because I stopped caring about living for anyone other than myself, and I embraced my nature... even though I didn't know my true nature until I knew myself. Most people don't pay enough attention to themselves, but rather they pay attention to what the world thinks they should be.
  17. What makes lying honest, even if you are using deception? Your example makes a lot of sense, thanks for the clarification. For further clarification, lets say that the guy saying he slept with the girl is actually looking not for esteem from his friends, but for money that he bet with some aquaintances he doesn't care for. Instead of thinking he deserved the money, he knows that he didn't deserve the money, but he still has it, and he can still use it. Even if he has faked reality in some way, he has still gained a value, which is tangible and real (at least in comparison to unearned esteem from ones friends). What makes this wrong? Maybe this is the same exact question, but this is a difficult concept for me to grasp so I'm sorry if I'm being repetive. Thanks for the help.
  18. So does this mean that lying is ALWAYS wrong? Why is faking reality, when you know you are faking it within the bounds of actual reality, and that you are only faking it to others, such a bad thing? For example, if I am 6 feet tall, and I tell myself that I am 5 feet tall, I am going against reality within my own mind. I could see how that is bad. But if I tell other people that I am 5 feet tall, can't I still know MYSELF that I am actually 6 feet tall, and thus be acting according to reality? I think if I could get a good explanation of this I would understand the idea a lot better.
  19. Thought some of you might find this interesting: http://web.archive.org/web/20041107084521/...food/vegan.html
  20. Okay guys, forgive me if I skipped over this thread too fast, but I couldn't help myself from getting right to my response. One recurring question I am seeing here is: What is masculine and what is feminine? The best answer I think I can give comes directly from traditional Chinese philosphy, from the idea of yin and yang. If you don't know what the concept of yin and yang is, it's the basic idea is that everything in the nature is, to a certain degree, yang, and to another degree, yin. Basically they are properties used to describe everything. Yang is, in a word, "active," and yin is "passive." Basically, yang is used to describe that which is aggressive, forward, blunt, "loud" (not necessarily auditory), etc, while yin describes the opposite. To sum up masculinity and femininity, I would like to quote this guy. He is a little extreme and isolationist at times, but there is truth in some of what he says: Masculine is competitive, feminine is comforting Masculine is seeking, feminine is keeping Masculine is attacking, feminine is defending Masculine is taking, feminine is giving Masculine is sympathetic, feminine is empathetic Masculine is creative, feminine is maintainive Masculine is discipline, feminine is control Masculine is unilateral, feminine is bilateral, (read dictatorial vs consensus) Masculine is compartments, feminine is gestalt Masculine is active, feminine is passive (don’t mistake this for submissive, a cannon is an active defense, a citadel a passive defense but no less important.) I have read The Fountainhead, and am just starting Atlas Shrugged, but I thought I had heard that Ayn Rand believed that men should be masculine and that women should be feminine. I am still a little perplexed by some of her characters, however, particularly the two main female characters I have come across, Dominique from The Fountainhead, and Dagny from from Atlas Shrugged. Both of them have a very obvious masculine element to them, but Rand seems to portray them in an idealistic light (more so with Dagny than Dominique). In her notes, I remember Rand wrote that Dominique was meant to be "Roark's ideal mistress." Maybe it had more to do with how she changed when she was in Roark's presence. After defining masculinity and femininity (to an extent), the obvious question arises of why men should be masculine and why women should be feminine. My response would be similar to how Rand might say that we should embrace the wonders of our humanity, that we should embrace our sexuality (in the gender sense, not the intercourse sense). Men are, by nature, masculine, so they should embrace it and let it help to drive them to their greatest potential and dreams. For women I suppose the question becomes a bit harder, because to be feminine is not to be very active and attacking. Some proponents of this sort of sexuality model say that women naturally do not aspire to the same types of dreams that men do, that for many of them simply raising a family and becoming a mother is what will make them most happy. I can't pass judgement on the nature of feminine dreams, since I can't experience it, but I would be delighted to hear thoughts about it from a woman's perspective.
  21. JMeganSnow: Generally when it comes to relationships, I tend to avoid talking a lot about politics, religion, and anything else controversial because it is an easy way for a relationship to go sour early on. For example, if one person is extremely liberal, and the other is extremely conservative, chances are that political discussion can only lead to a negative result. In the long term, obviously people can't be too polarized when it comes to their values, but I think that for casual dating it isn't necessarily worth jeopardizing the fun and other things you have to gain from the relationship. In the past I have been asked, by friends and girls alike, about my religion. What do I tell them? I have told them that there are too many possibilities for me to sit down and just agree with one theory about "god". Some people would call it agnosticism. Since I have become more aware of Objectivism and have heard better arguments for why there simply is not a god, I have started moving closer and closer to atheism. At the moment, I haven't really studied Rand's arguments for how the existence of the supernatural can be disproved, so I don't want to really make that conclusion until I'm convinced, but even if I were a declared athiest, I would probably not give friends or girlfriends a definite "I'm an athiest" declaration until I knew that it wouldn't put them off at all. If the girl is religious, but not to the point where its a central theme in her life, then I don't think it is too hard to give a vague excuse and not have to worry about it too much in the future. If she is very religious, I probably wouldn't want to date her in the first place. I don't know if I would call it lying, per se, but if it is, I think it is a lie that would be worth telling. As long as she knows that you both have your differences when it comes to religion, I think the topic can be put away pretty quickly without problems.
  22. Thanks for all the helpful responses, I would have gotten back to this sooner, but I'm still adjusting to taking 18 hours of classes and working 20 hours a week and free time is a rarity. I'm currently at work . You guys seem to see a situation (or at least this one) for what it is, and asking for advice here has proved to be a good idea. I really do appreciate it. I think I'm going to do what JMeganSnow and shakthig suggested, try to return the situation to how it was by offering a fake, superficial apology to keep her at bay so that things can be as normal as possible between my father and me. FaSheezy: I would talk to my father but I think he will try to remain pretty neutral, until my step mom finds out that I've gotten him involved, in which case she will put all kinds of pressure on him to make me the bad guy. The only thing is that she might put a kind of unspoken embargo on communication between myself and either of them. It will just be harder for me to get along well with my dad. JMeganSnow: You pretty much answered your questions how I would. I'm thinking this might be my best option. softwareNerd: Possibly. Honestly I've been pretty out of touch with her, I'm in Texas and she's in Germany. I only talk to her once every few months, when she gets online when she's home from boarding school, and she doesn't seem like she has much to say, especially about stuff like this. If she is hesitant, it's probably because of all the pressure that has been put on her from my stepmother, especially since my mom <apparently> has a lot of trouble communicating with her so there is nothing to counteract any false or negative accusations. My mom claims that she is never contacted about things like phone numbers, addresses, locations when they change, and my father/stepmother say they send her all of it. Who's right/wrong? I have no idea. But I seriously doubt that my mother would act like she missed her children more than anything, then refrain from calling them if she had the chance. She basically drove herself broke trying to get custody of us, and she is always stressed out about being out of touch with some of her kids. Basically, when my mother remarried, my stepfather made it very difficult for us to communicate with our father. Until then, my mother even talked to him regularly and he asked if she was doing ok, etc. Once he got there, he would grab the phone from her and yell/curse at my father and basically prevent any communication between them. He's actually in prison now for verbal assault (yeah the whole thing is just bad), but he had ample time to pave the foundation for chaos whenever there was a conflict across both sides of the family, or even something simple that required basic communication (hence the claim from my mother that she didn't know my father was moving to Germany until she heard it from one of us children). Also, both of my step-parents hate eachother and the other parents, and their influence on my parents has developed into a communication void between my mother and father. Basically, my mother says she wants to stay in touch with my brother/sister, but that because of my father/stepmother, she can't. My father/stepmother both say that they have sent her all of the information, so she is able to contact them at any time. I am probably more inclined to believe either that they are lying, or that because of the lack of proper communication, my mother never got the necessary information, which my Aunt/Uncle recently gave to her, and there is just a misunderstanding. shakthig: Your points about my stepmother are spot on, I've really kind of always known her be how you described her, but I guess I reverted to doing what many people do in an argumentative situation -- explain their side of the situation as if will read as clear as day to everyone, when it really doesnt. I do suspect that she understood much of what I said, but that she didn't bother to consider it because of her irrationality and opinionatedness. Either way, your suggestions about how to deal with her are just what I needed to see. That's how I've treated her in the past, often taking a verbal beating for practically nothing, but I suppose I just got tired of it and figured that I deserved to retaliate. It seems that retaliation might not be in my best interest. As far as my father is concerned, I think you are pretty close. I guess if he IS just being tactful, he must not see things from my point of view very well, unless he expects me to follow the same strategy in dealing with her, which is a possibility. It does make communication/conversation more difficult when there's the underlying feeling that my step mom expects him to see/treat me the same way she would, but I would like to think that he can ignore that. I have to say that your response was more helpful than I had hoped for. Thanks a lot. hunterrose: The problem with that strategy is that she will not subscribe to logic if it doesn't fit her agenda/pre-extisting reasoning, so it can only degenerate into her concluding the same thing she conluded before: that we shouldn't talk to eachother because I just don't get it (or am rude). I did ask her what the real issue was, and she said, "you are the problem."
  23. Sorry if this is not the correct place to post something like this--if there is such a place. I figured that the people here would be able to give me feedback as good as anywhere else, and I would really appreciate input on my situation from a third party. My parents are divorced, both re-married, and there has always been a lot of tension between my parents and step-parents, making it difficult to discuss anything with one of them concerning the other party. My brother and sister go to a boarding school in Germany, about 30 minutes away from my father and step-mother's house, but until last year lived with my father at his home. I am at school and visit both my mother and father on occasion. Basically, my step-mother tends to make a big deal out of smallest things. In addition, she thinks she is always right, and tends to use anything she can to win an argument, for example the fact that she is older than I am. I was talking to my sister, who's 14, online, and told her she should give my mom a call because it had been a while since they'd talked and thought my mom would appreciate it. My sister said that she couldn't because my dad was using the phone and she was going to bed soon. I told her to wait a little longer, and then the subject changed. To make a long story short, my step mom wrote me an email saying that I shouldn't try to force my sister to stay in touch with my mother (a poorly founded, untrue accusation), and basically that I needed to respect the wishes of others. I explained why I didn't think I had done anything wrong, and she emailed me back basically lecturing me on how I was insulting her and them. I told her she couldn't change my mind by using second hand opinions as a form of proving how I did the wrong thing, and she responded by saying that we shouldn't talk to eachother anymore. Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing, but the moment I stop allowing her arrogant, hypocritcal, insulting lectures to wash right over me, I'm suddenly too disrespectful to talk to. I wouldn't really care about this that much, expect for the fact that my father is very sensitive to the suggestion of my step-mother. I really respect my father, and we have never had any problems with eachother. That is why I've tried so hard to remain indifferent to my step mothers ridiculous accusations and insults toward me. The one thing I don't like about my father is how he sometimes lets my step-mother walk over him and tell him how to act and think. One time, my brother asked if he could eat a sandwich, and my father said ok, but when my step-mother saw him eating it, she told my father to make him throw it away (close to dinner), and he did so without questioning her. I use this example only to describe the kind of subordination she has put him in. If she tells him that I have problems, my father will most likely agree and it will be hard to talk him out of it without an apology to my step-mother and admittance that I was wrong. Basically, I want to keep at bay the detrimental effects she can have on my relationship with my father, without having to subordinate myself to her and allow her to freely assault my character. What do I do? My uncle, a very well tempered, and very smart man told me himself, after hearing about one of my conversations with her, that if it were him in my place he would have been outraged at some of the things she said to me. I can keep my cool as long as well as anyone, but I don't know if I should. It might simply be easiest to continue to ignore her as much as possible without allowing her to interfere between my father and me. Any comments or suggestions would be very appreciated. I've attached the series of emails in case anyone wants to read them. If this were one event by itself, I wouldn't normally make such a big deal out of it. But things like this have happened many many times in the past, until it has escalated to this, and writing about it helps me straighten my thoughts out at the very least. I just want to figure out a solution and be done with it. Unfortunately she will not listen to any logical solution that involves her admitting she's in any way wrong. I admit some of the things I said were a little crude, but honestly, she had them coming and I had reason behind saying them. To her credit, any grammer/spelling mistakes are probably due to the fact that she is Belgian, so English isn't her first language. The emails start at the bottom with hers, and go up from there. emails.doc
  24. Note the difference between "Objectivist's family" and "Objectivist family." The other day, as an example, my family had some guests from my mother's church that I didn't care for.
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