EasyDoesIt

Hello All, I am new to this Forum but have a spent alot of time here recently perusing this particular section. My boyfriend and I value much in objectivism but lately I find myself confused by what he has found in it and wonder how best to deal with this situation. I feel like I should also say that I am somewhat new to objectivism, my boyfriend has believed strongly for quite a bit longer. We have been dating for a little over six years and were high school sweethearts. The majority of our relationship was long distance because we were persuing different educational experiences and felt comfortable enough with our relationship to be apart. He has much of what I value in a person and I always felt like we were in a good place. He has had a lot of drama in his life and I have frequently taking a supporting role to help him through tough times, not without inconvience to myself but because I value our relationship it never seemed particularly self-sacrificing. He has recently begun grad school and I will be completeing my undergraduate career in May. However, since he has begun graduate school he has become distant and has now started to ask for space and time and seems to be having something akin to a mid-life crisis (ironic since he's only 20-something). I look at him and I think perhaps he is being a little self-destructive interms of our relationship. I feel like he's not really looking at his values and at me, but rather at himself and this feeling that something isn't right. I think this may be in part because being young as he is, his values are not fully defined. I argue that it's not that something isn't right, but rather that he feels like something shouldn't be right. The drama that his life was filled with is now gone, and finally happy and without complication he turns to our relationship to argue that it isn't perfect and should be denied in order to obtain the ideal. Is this truly rational? To look at something that is good and brings value to your life and deny it because it isn't perfect? Even though it causes you pain to deny it? I am going to say something that will I am sure make everyone ::gasp:: and deem me insane and without a clue, I have not actually read Atlas Shrugged yet. I have read commentary on it, but never the actual novel. Which I know is appalling. I mean to start ASAP. The reason I mention this is because he draws some parallels about our relationship from that book and I wonder if anyone has some insight into that, he argues that he wants someone who will both accept him and challenge him. I'm not entirely sure what that is supposed to mean, especially since he is not usually the kind of person who accepts challenges well. I also think this may have something to do with the evils of codependence. I think perhaps he feels that we ahve become codependent on one another for feelings of safety and security and the best thing to do would be to end it. I am sorry to rant, but I find myself confused by his conclusions. I feel like his decision to try and break things off is misguided and not for the reasons he has let himself to believe. Although, that could just be because Ive placed so much value on our relationship that I am reluctant to let it go without a fight. Any advice would be welcome. Ideally any advice on how to get him to come around, since I've gotten plenty already on how there's nothing to do and time fixes everything. Thanks.