Hello, I was looking up "unalienable rights" and stumbled upon this site and your posts. I have to say, I find them a bit irritating. So irritating in fact, that I signed up to this site to repond to you. My thought is you need some tough love. So here it is.
First, You spend as much time writing about how your not good at things as I spend working at getting good at things. I understand that the system is rotten. I'm a roofing contractor and have been in the construction business since I was 19 (I'm 30 now) and I could tell you stories of corruption that would make your head spin. The kind of taxes your subject to as a self employed person are appalling. The amount of paperwork involved decreases my productivity by no less then 50%. And if you think it's bad by yourself, try having an employee or two. On top of that through in the risk of $80,000plus, osha fines for safety violations by employees that you ultimately have no control over or public officials requiring bribes and you see what not sleeping enoughmeans. All that being said, the one good part about a system this far gone is there are all kinds of loopholes. Even if you file a 1040ez you have enough deductions between your dependent daughter and yourself, that you should pay virtually nothing in income tax. And besides that, using the tax burden as an excuse to not make the money in the first place, is a cop out. Make the money first then spend as much of it as you can on accountants to make sure the [email protected]
#^@#%'s get as little as possible.
Now regarding your house, get over it. If land values are that high in your area, someone wants to buy the land and doesnt give a hoot what condition the house is in. The reason the land values are that high is because many people are buying the land. You seem to be a clever guy-despite your multiple comments as to your lack of mental accuity-As a clever guy, I'm certain that you could find a way to clean up what ever "spilled" in your backyard and then sell your house. If you really can't find an agent to sell it then at least stick a sign in your front yard. Maybe post an add online. I'm quite certain you havent spent 1/2 a century on this planet without hearing the phrase "by owner". To summerize...clean up....sell house...move to podunk, Arkansas, rent or buy a trailor in the middle of nowhere for next to nothing and enjoy your hobbies while paying your $300/month rent with a part time job or your $11,000 a year business. Or even better, move to the area where you can find a job in the field that you specialize in. It's not 3600 miles by the way and even if it were, you could make that drive in 4 days. Oh, And get more bids by other contractors. I could put the most expensive roof system available on a 12,000 square foot roof for $70,000. So unless your living in a fairly nice size mansion, replacing a roof should be in the 5k-15k range.
As far as your materialsim goes...it at ment to me is the most obvious statement of how misconstrued your views of objectivism are. And your misconceptions are what led you to this place your at mentally. You may remember in atlas shrugged, tycoons gave up big companies with lot's of perks, lots of money, lots of toys, to live in a little valley with a few people and performed fairly menial jobs. Bank owners raised pigs, industrial magnates fixed cars,etc...so now ask yourself why...It's because the "stuff" doesnt matter. Objectivism is not materialism. It's a way of living, not an outcome. So basically...the socialists want to steal our cookies right? That sucks, it really does, but for someone like hank rearden, its not a big issue. Because he knows he can bake more cookies. The real crime is that after they steal your cookies, they then tell you your bad for making cookies and want to know when your delivering the next batch. The real trick to it is learning to live without the guilt or fear their world instills. The act of pursueing your values is what matters most. And you pursue your values no matter how bad the world gets. I don't care if your in a concentration camp...you still pursue the betterment of your life.
Your self-esteem seems largely based on outcomes that you only have some control over. Money is not an indication of your achievment. It is an indication of how much others value your achievement so to base you happiness on how much other people value your work is to make the mistake of a second-hander. Don't do that. That is an only marginally useful gauge in a world populated by predominantly rational people with good values and good self-esteem. In our current world great wealth is more often an indicator of having sold your soul.
I am a roofing contractor and I install standing seam metal roofs. They are the best roof money can buy. Predominantly they are used on commercial applications...store fronts and such...thats where most of the money is. What I predominantly pursue, however, are individuals and architects who build custom homes with this sort of roof on it even though it pays less then the commercial stuff. Why would I do this? Simple...becuase I get to do the kind of work I want to do. I don't just build roofs, i get to build land marks. I get to build houses that people have dreamed about for years. I get to hear people I respect and admire say, "it looks just like i imagined it" about my work. And most importantly, i get to be challenged. And the funny thing about it is, doing what you really want to do, does eventually get you where you want to be in life financially and otherwise. Little by little on client at a time I'm getting to spend more and more time doing the kind of buildings I like all by word of mouth advertising. And I've only been in business for 2 years.
So now your think "well good for you...your getting to do what you love"...nope try again...I'm doing this to make enough money to get to where I'd really like to be, which is opening a montessorri school. But I don't have to sacrifice my values to get there. I can still live by them in the meantime.
I was kicked out of my house at a tender age, left florida and drove until i ran out of gas money which turned out to be texas and found myself shortly thereafter breaking up concrete in 100 degree texas sunn with a 90 lb jack hammer for the third week in a row when I briefly felt as you've described. I was making $6.00/ hour- a good part of which was appropriated by uncle scam-and every part of my body hurt every day. And you gotta wonder at that point what your doing wrong. I never did figure it out exactly. What I did do was keep going anyways because I didn't have a choice. I was alone in the world and needed to eat. I did what I had to do to get to do what I want to do. And Ive continued with that process to this day. I know you understand this concept on some level because youve already stated that your primary concern in life is your hobby's and that work is a secondary value used to support them. So don't despise the means by which you achieve your values because to do that is to despise reality. To despise cause and effect.
So suck it up, sell your house, stuff tampons in boxes, move accross the country, do what you have to do and don't ask why. The answer is simple. Reality demands it. Everytime you find yourself thinking. I can't do this, or this won't work, or this is useless, ignore the subject and think about something you can do and then do it. Movement and growth is what seperates living things from inanimate matter. You feel like your getting old and dying because thats what your doing ...voluntarily. Choose life instead. If you find yourself thinking you'll probably be dead in ten years because of some kind of genetic determinism, so why try, look at your daugther and remember that you have to be alive in 16 to see her graduate highschool and in 20 to see her graduate from college. And that gives you 2 full decades to live as a role model for her. Which means 20 years to pursue your values. Your in a unique place. At the bottom with not much left to loose from your own perspective. that allows you to take big risks. I further, suggest that you pick up a biography of buckminster fuller for inspiration from that perspective.
Best of luck...errr....I mean....May the universe not be malevolently opposed to your existence