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Hopefully a Scientist

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  1. Olex, it was not my intention to come off as complaining. I merely wanted to state the fact that it hurt as I would do if describing a dental experience and my following condition to someone. You're right, complaining makes no difference and the pain cannot be dealt with instantly. I suppose I'm more interested in the pitfalls of my situation. I don't want to forget or destroy or ignore all the things about our relationship that I found wonderful but I also know I cannot dwell on what's happened or spend time thinking something foolish like one or both of us might change and we could get back together. Really, I must find a point between complete erasure and total obsession without falling into one or the other. I like what you said JMeaganSnow. I can acknowledge the pain and put it aside. I think thats the best way for me to move on without repressing or bottling things up.
  2. My girlfriend recently dumped me. I think it's probably the best thing for both of us but it still hurts, especially now that I'm analyzing the relationship to try and see what happened and to learn from it. I'm not sure if she ever really loved me. I think maybe she was lying to me most of the time, only because she was lying to herself as well. I've never really considered myself an objectivist. I've never really considered myself anything before. She introduced me to objectivism. Of all the philosophies I've been exposed to, objectivism seemed to be most inline with my already held, though perhaps a bit nebulous at times, value system. I haven't really looked at this site much before except when she would look at it on my computer. Now I've got an account and I'm looking through these forums. I'm pretty sure I'm drawn here for answers either because I'm looking for a logical, rational solution to the pain and dilemmas that are now plaguing me, or because I'm trying to replace the objectivist content in my life that was previously filled by her. It's probably both. I think I really do appreciate objectivism on it's own merit though. There are so many things about her and about our relationship that I want to cherish, that I want to remember fondly, even if they didn't hold the same value for her. I don't want to wind up repressing, but I also want to move on. I just don't quite know how to move on after something that, I felt, was so meaningful. I want to concretize my values and regain sight of what's real and what matters. I think this upheaval has forced me to recognize my lack of a strong and well defined set of values and perceptions. I feel 'fractured' as she used to say. I now have so may thoughts and feelings bouncing around in my head. I think it'll be a daunting task to sort them all out. I'm certain that my starting point should be the objectivist philosophy, however. Whatever else I may now be completely unsure of, I've always been a big fan of reason. I think I'll get a copy of fountainhead. I started reading it when we began dating and I want to finish it. It just seemed hard to get through and I had a lot of other things to deal with then. I know I haven't asked a specific question here or anything. Just writing this down is making me feel a little better even if I don't post it.I'm curious to get an outside opinion on all of this though, and from what I've read here so far I think the opinions I'll garner here will be the most useful in helping me figure things out. Let's bring on the harsh objective reality.
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