stoatian

Quite an impressive woman. You missed the point. You can not separate motivation from an action (context from the subject). You can from the sidelines, make a call that someone is engaging in a hedonistic act. But, until you know the underlying motive and the full situational context, you are setting yourself up to make a mistake in judgement. Some circumstances might be easy to make such a decision. Others are not. Here I can not fully comment as I do not study philosophies. I only seek correct answers. Sex is: A physically & psychologically invigorating experience IF it is the product of proper self motivation. It can not be based on your partners valuation of you. In other words: You can not think; She values me ... therefore I must have value. You must have an objective view of your own value. That you are worthy, or maybe not, of the pleasure in any given circumstance. Sex should not be: A means to an image or status A means of manipulation A way to pass time ... a game (maybe hedonism falls under this)

Be careful with the "hedonist" argument. Ayn Rand sought the pleasure of a nicotine high for the sake of it. What one seeks a pleasure must be put in context of the person overall. More important is the motivation, as well as and the reward or consequence, of the pleasure sought. Is the pleasure in question self destructive, or beneficial. By who's standards? I would never inhale something destructive, nor seek to get high, for any reason. That is me. Would I indulge in casual sex, in certain, specific circumstance ... yes. Again; that s me. The person who mention the time spent, made a valid point. It is why, most of my life, I have been celibate. Someone mentioned that casual sex might be damaging when one finally meets the right person. That is a good thought; to wait for the right person. Think about that on a sliding scale. I will use Rands fictional characters to make my point. I never understood how the John Galt character would have found Dagney attractive. She was in no way his equal. I thought Reardon was a closer match. (I am assuming that this is what the Inspector was referring to about engaging with someone, of close, but of not equal value). Everyone is where they are. Some will continue to grow. Others will not. What a person decides and when, is up to them. The fact is that you can not remove, that which is reality based, from a person. In other words: Proper knowledge.

Not at all (I have spent most of my life in a state of celibacy). That said: In lieu of a proper match, and with proper (self) motivation, I do not see any harm to oneself. This means being honest with the other person too. What makes you think that sex with someone, who does not meet your value standards, is casual? You are what you are - objectively. The most important part of the act of sex is your motivation. Are you seeking the pleasure as a celebration of your life? Or are you seeking to nail the chick, so that you come off as impressive to mindless dolts?

Note: this is lonestoic. I had to re-register. Password info for some sites are on a computer that is packed away for moving. So, sorry about the delayed response. I participate in many forums. Much more sporadically these days. In retrospect I should have chosen my words more carefully. "valueless sex" is impossible, just as meaningless sex. What I should have said was one sided, or self indulgent sex. The motivation for the action (sex) can only be based on a persons value system. Therefore, like any action, there is a value choice. When confronted with the lack of a potential partner, I do not think being a monk is a good solution. Sleeping with someone who is not of value is certainly not ideal either. That said, human contact ... sex ... is as one of the Rand quotes posted, an end in itself. To that end it is rational to want to feel and celebrate life. When a rational person accomplishes something, and or takes a moment to reflect on the beauty of it all, it is hard to abstain. So I would submit that if it can only be motivated by your joy, then so be it. It becomes a transaction of sorts (being with the sex partner). There is absolutely no argument that a value match is ideal. Just do not forget that loving yourself enough to live life to it's fullest, does not mean privation. Also note: this is in no way to be confused with those who seek sexual conquest to create an image.