bunyos

I have read this text, what do you think about ? "Sometimes you feel like a nut ... sometimes you don’t We women often have trouble distinguishing our inner voice from our inner critic. Frequently, a woman's inner critic doesn't give her permission to follow her instincts if they run counter to a man’s. Some women have been socialized to be cautious of acting differently from the way a man expects them to — especially in dating situations. As a result, women often chicken out of potentially successful negotiations with men. A woman once told me a story that illustrates this point nicely. Her boyfriend took her to a movie and-bought a big bag of peanut M&Ms "to share." The woman had told him previously that she was allergic to nuts, but she chose not to remind him: instead, she just carefully ate off the chocolate and spit out the peanuts. Quite a romantic evening, huh? The story may sound funny, but I find it sad. Wanting to please a man you care about isn't sad, but not wanting to demonstrate separateness is. This woman imagined that expressing her individuality would threaten her boyfriend (note that she seemed to have no trouble telling her preferences to an¬other woman).In fact, most men aren’t bothered by such expressions, but rather appreciate your ability to express your preferences. Imagining that any expression of your own needs will create a problem is sad. Research indicates that men want to be appreciated. So why do we women back out of telling them what we want? Why do we give in before even trying to negotiate? We say, "Do what you want; it’s okay." The im¬plied message is "What I want isn't important." Gloria Steinem points out that we are empathy sick — we have walked in someone else’s shoes so much that we've forgotten how to fill our own. You need to do unto yourself as you would do for others. Start listening to your inner voice to find out what it is that you want — not what you think others expect."

the question is how can “a pause button” help us to achieve our objectives and may be we shouldn't use it?

Don’t be an animal - remember your pause button The pause button is one thing that separates us from the animals. My cat Linguini didn’t have a pause button. Whenever he heard the sound of the electric can opener, he went nuts: meowing, jumping, clawing my legs. He was unable to push the pause button and think, "Before I expend all this energy, is that my tuna fish or yours?" (He didn't know the difference, but I did — about a buck thirty-three!) Of course, sometimes even we humans forget that we have pause buttons — especially when someone else is pushing our buttons. For ex¬ample, you ask a coworker to do something, and she responds, "That’s not my job." Feeling your blood pressure rise, you may be tempted to blurt out "Weil, it’s not mine either, blockhead!" This response may come to your mind but it needn't come out of your mouth. You have a pause button. When you push it, your realize that, if you utter your first response, you won’t get the job done and you may alienate the coworker. (Remember, friends come and go; enemies accumulate ) So instead you say, "I understand." And you do: The person feels overworked and underpaid – don’t we all? Then you may say, I know that you’re swamped, but this thing has to get done to meet the deadline. Can you give it any time at all?" And the negotiation begins. Now you have a chance of getting what you want. I’d like to see a cat manage that! The moral of this story: Every cat ought to have a paws button.