greenmatiz2

My girlfriend of 2 years wants to marry. She is Korean, and I am American. We live in Seoul. There is a lot of societal pressure here to marry, especially given her age (33). In Korea, if you don't marry by 30, you are branded a sort of failure. This is changing, but the stigma is still there. I am 36. We have discussed marriage, but personally, I don't want to marry. She has, however, made it apparent that if I don't marry her, she's going to leave me. I love her, but I am facing a lot of stress over this. I don't even like to discuss it. We seem to be in this constant push/shove game where she pushes to set the marriage date details, and I try to shove them back. She is a very good person, and has treated me very well. She is from a good family, has a good job, is very pretty, and we get along well. I don't know if I could ever meet someone like her again. She wants me to meet her mother, which in this culture means they'll start planning the wedding out before I get a word in edgewise. I've been trying to put that off. Honestly, I don't want to marry yet. I still consider myself young. I don't go out to the bars trying to meet other girls. I do, however, have great fears of losing my freedom. If I were to sum up my feelings, I would say that to me, getting married would equal the end of my life. It doesn't help that many of the married people I talk to seem unhappy, or seem to have achieved ability to ignore the fact that they are not enjoying marriage at all. Many people have said, "Oh, don't marry. I wish I had never married..." Now, it seems, we will marry this summer or else. I want a family some day, but I worry I am getting older. I don't feel an overwhelming need to be around her more than a day a week. Honestly, I have troubles being around any girl for more than a few days without feeling like I need time away. I like my space. Please add some comments and give me some things to consider about this. Thanks.