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ManOfSteel

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  1. Sorry folks. I didn't mean charge my parents. Charging them would be a little ridiculous. I meant charge my brother. And yeh, I haven't read Atlas Shrugged yet Only The Fountainhead. I've started reading Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal, but I'm thinking I should skip though it until I've read Atlas first. I'm still relatively new to Objectivism (been studying the philosophy properly for the last 7-9 months). Before then I had never even heard of Ayn Rand.
  2. Yeh, my mom has been saying to everyone for ages, "I dont know how we're going to survive when he's gone!", but that really doesn't change anything. I think she's quite used to that idea. I understand that changing their mindset isn't my business at all, but at the same time, I don't see a long-term relationship with my brother if he doesn't change his ways and stop expecting things from me. If I choose not to help him with something, he sees it as extremely unfair and will obviously use the "Dont ever ask for anything from me" (not that I really ever do). I even fear he'll go as far as damaging something of mine if I dont eventually do it. That's the kind of reason (or lack thereof) I'm dealing with. It's all good and well to say that I'm helping him as a favour to my mother, but when you feel exploited because he lacks the initiative to figure out something for himself, you feel the need to say NO sometimes. Also, if my mom asks for my help with something and I say "I'm busy", it goes through one ear and out the other and I'll hear her call my name a second later again. This usually gets me quite riled up and I end up shouting and obviously then get accused of being rude. As much as I can sit her down and explain that "I'm busy" means I cant attend to her problem at present, a week later she'll forget we even had the discussion. Man...after typing this all out, it sounds like we need counselling! We're not an unhappy family though. I'm just unhappy in my current situation. My mom chose to be a housewife from the day my brother was born and hasn't worked since. She has devoted her life to her children. I obviously don't agree with this choice anymore because we're old enough to now care for ourselves. I have told her on many occasions to try find something to really keep her busy on a day-to-day basis, but she insists she's now too old to get a real job. I'm not going to argue with her about it though. She must do whatever makes her happy. I just think that being a full-time mother has lent to her not minding my brother expecting her to do everything for him. I on the other hand obviously do mind.
  3. Hey guys, This isn't a pity post. I'm looking for advice from a bunch of objectivist thinkers as to how I should best address this scenario. Here's my situation: In my house there is myself, my brother and my parents. I am the only one who is technologically-able. If a computer breaks or the TV doesn't work, I am expected to fix it. This has caused many arguments in the house over the years, as I expect them to eventually take the initiative to learn and become independant. To not have to call on me every time the internet stops working (which is often). Alas, they don't, and for the last 8 years I have been Mr. Fix-It of the home. If I don't fix whatever is not working, it will lead to severe nagging, which eventually leads to the inevitable argument. I always end up fixing the problem because it's far less painful than having the argument. At first when I was younger I never used to mind too much, but I've had enough. I get asked at least once a day how to fix something and often receive phone calls when I'm out with friends as well. My brother and mother (who primarilly use the computer) believe that I have a duty to fix the internet/computer (or anything else) for them. My brother's argument being that I am his brother and if I needed his help, he would provide it. The funny thing is, I've never asked for a single thing from him in my entire life. If he ever wants to help me, cool, but he musn't feel obligated because of our blood-links. I don't mind helping my mother as much (even though it becomes irritating as a daily occurance), but I recognise that she does a lot for me, so I feel like in a sense, I'm saying thank you. My brother is another story though. He is the laziest person I know. At home, he expects everyone to do things for him. Cook, clean etc. And if they don't, they get a mouth-full. I've had to block him on my instant messaging program, because while he's at work, he'll message me asking me to do silly little favours for him on a daily basis. I expect no favours from anyone, but everyone seems to expect them from me. It has gotten to the point where I no longer enjoy doing favours for my family anymore. In fact, I usually end up resenting them for it. I get nothing but displeasure from doing them. Probably because I feel exploted. I do consider myself someone of strong objectivist beliefs and I obviously understand that this scenario is absolute BS. I have discussed it with him before. That I wasn't born with a contract in my hand obligating me to serve him for the rest of his life should he be in need. I wouldn't expect anything of him and should he wish to help me, it should be out of his own free will. This just doesn't seem to process. As much as I can't deal with this anymore, I'd rather not have a serious fall-out with my family members. At the same time, I don't want to live my life with family who expect me to be at their beck and call 24/7 whenever something like the internet isn't working, which I promise, is at LEAST once a day. This is no exaggeration. Is anyone able to provide me with advice as to what I should do? They need to change their mindset. I can't cope with this neediness anymore. Thanks :-/
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