Jill

What big picture?

The woman pretending to be a thirteen year old should be arrested for fraud, not for bullying. Same as me! Good advice.

Isn't it different to take a permanent record of your home without your consent than to just pass by because you have to get around?

It's not selfless to have regard for the preferences of a person you love.

I disregard the welfare and wishes of billion others in the world because they are of no interest to me. When I chose to buy something for myself, I chose not save several starving babies in the third world. It's the truth and it's not irrational.

No. You can't possibly know what other people understand or went through in their lives from the advice they give you.

If the parcel has no return address and the person says "it's inside" what should be the course of action?

Why so disturbed? Isn't love about having sex with your highest values?

Now, seriously. I don't think a toddler cares to vote. Do you? I was talking about a situation that directly impacts a toddler life. A toddler will care if his parents do not give him the help he needs, because they are sharing attention and resources with the new baby. It can be bad for him and the new baby. A better analogy is having an affair while you are married without the knowledge and consent of your spouse. Although in the case of a dependent child, it's morally worse, because the child can't leave if his parents are horrible.

Jake, you're right. The person should pay postage, though?

Children should consent because they are individuals too. The artificial boundary lifted between adults and children is a prejudice that should not be left unquestioned as the parochial mistake that it is. If a child is too young and communication limitations make it impossible to seek their consent, the default should to wait until they are older, not to disregard them.

What if the person keeps sending gifts after the friendship is over? Should they be returned?

Children are individuals. It's not moral to use force on them.

New additions to the family should be done with the current child(ren) consent. A new child should be a new value worth adding to the family. Everyone in the family should get more individual freedom from this choice, more of what they want in life, not less. It should never mean sacrifice and it should never mean learning how to share, with each person's life being about having to be content with less so another person can exist.

Ayn Rand quotes.

Welcome! Generosity and benevolence are good things. If others are of value to you or the cause is of value to you, it's good for you to help. It's bad to help others just because they need it.

Selfishness as the "package" that includes as universally accepted and unquestionable ethics, that it's bad to not think of others regardless of context and implies others are always hurt when you get what you want, is simply the other side of the altruistic coin. Common people nowadays do live by altruist rule and admire those that are altruistic. They don't think deeply about it if they are not religious, but they would have learned it inexplicit. Nobody goes "wow, what a good man, he made a lot of money." People go "wow, what a good man, he donated all that money to charity, he cares." There are also people who chose to be selfish accepting the altruistic ethics "I'll do whatever I please, I could care less about morality." Common people understand life to be about compromising with others, they think that is needed so nobody gets hurt, instead thinking of relationships as situations where everyone will gain more than they would on their own. Everyone I relate to in real life is the former, unfortunately. Selfishness is so evil for people they do use the words "wants" or "preferences" they say "needs." Summary: Altruism is this oath: I swear to Humankind and my love of it that I will sacrifice my life to other men and expect other men to sacrifice their life for mine. Ayn Rand suggests this oath instead: I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.

Alfa, I have thought of another interpretation for that scene. Since Ayn Rand's husband herself started to learn painting late (not sure what his age was, but since he was an actor first, I assume he wasn't young anymore?) I wonder if the scene is meant to show that (Sorry to off topic on my own topic )

This is an interesting observation. I wonder if anyone wants to comment?

You could have linked to instead, it would have been funnier.

Set some goals for yourself. Here's a couple suggestions. Body building. Apparently, it's never too late. If you don't like this, investigate sports where it's never too late to compete or at least to achieve something. I know of older people that started climbing and swimming. Exercise as a chore to maintain good health is boring and won't motivate you. It's about finding things in life you like to do, not maintaining a soulless body. Get one these books and go learn. Treat yourself to a box of coloured pencils and a book that teaches how to use them. Look at this cover, you could be doing this in a few years. You're at an age when it's easier to learn to draw from life because you will not be under the influence of cultural fads. The point is, there's so many things out there you could be doing. Nevermind others don't love you. Nobody loves me either. Become the person that deserves your love. Another thing, binging on food brings no comfort. It's a delusion, you know you'll end crying and feeling horrible you did it. Set a daily calorie intake, start a food diary and take note of what you eat. It's what I do. I have ice cream, pizza, biscuits, what I like, but I calculate calories of each portion first and I don't go above a certain number of calories a day.

Thank you for your suggestions so far. The real alternative is local state school versus home. I know that now, yet I still I come accross a block when I try. There is this monster in my mind, in the form of compulsive thinking, that forces me to quit. So I fear I can't, personally. I even had the idea of drawing some Atlas Shrugged characters and imagining some of you would like to buy the drawings, but then I feel embarrassed to think this. I haven't finished reading The Fountainhead, but I was spoiled to that scene. I know this is a common path to take, but what I want to do is to put my own imagination on paper. I do not have a general love for art skills out of that context.

Do you have any tips on how to get him ready for school? I'd appreciate it, thanks.

I live in the UK. Six years ago I lost my partner so I took Income Support so I could stay home and home educate my son. (It was more complicated than that, I found that my partner was a pedophile, but let's leave it there.) I saw taking Income Support as using a state service like any other, like using the NHS or state school or have your rubbish taken by the council. It was very freeing to finally be with my son full time even if money was very tight. The other viable option at the time was to go back to my own country, back to my family, and leave my child with my mother to work. I didn't like the thought to be under my mother's authority again and Home education in my home country is state controlled. It wasn't fair on my son to take that freedom away from him. I also avoided conflict with his biological father this way. In 2010 Income Support will end for my son's age bracket. There's also review on home education law in the UK which might make it state controlled, so how worth it is to continue to stay here, I don't know. I don't have any qualifications or skill and I never worked much before I was a mother. When I was young I wanted to do be an artist, mostly to write and draw my own comics, but I never learned enough have the level I wanted and now I think I can't. I try to go back to it, but I don't seem to progress and I block again. It has been 17 years my skill doesn't progress and my dream is stalled. I like to imagine I am able to get through this and that I start to sell my drawings and everything progresses so I can make a good living out of art, but I do not think it's realistic to count on this as form of sustenance with my state of mind. I should probably find other means. I would do to do any unskilled job outside the house, I am not a person who despises work, but that would require my son to go back to school. I am not happy with that. Not only I think it's unethical to force my son to go to school, especially the local state school, I think school would be terrible for him now. Not only it's an institution that will force him to obey to rules he is not used to live with, he would be bullied. Three years ago he was diagnosed and treated for brain cancer. This made him weaker, shorter and slower than other children his age. I don't want him to have a statement of SEN, because those labels remain with the person for life and can affect his future freedom as an adult. Also, because I followed a very relaxed philosophy of education, so he is not academically up to national curriculum level. This would be humiliating for him when it's not his fault. School in my home country might have the advantage the national curriculum is one year behind, less harsh, children are not forced into uniforms, he wouldn't be bullied for racism, so he might catch up better and be in a friendlier environment. I would have to move back to my family, which would be humiliating for me, though, until I earned enough to move out again. I would also be burdened with their problems. The major problem of going back there, is there could be a potential custody fight with my son's father, which I would lose for certain if it happened. I don't want my son to be forced to live with a stranger that doesn't love him. If the child protection insanity didn't exist, I would get some weekend work now and then take more work as my son was older and more able to spend more time on his own and move about on his own. My head goes around and I cannot make a decision. Can you help with ideas or get my thinking on track? Thanks.

I do not agree with Ayn Rand on romance and sex. I think she was well intended and wanted to bring meaning and beauty to an act that is a source of pleasure, but not only she seems to forget to mention that a person can have the same pleasure in solitude, she entrenches one of the biggest mistakes of humankind, that is to remove sex from its actual purpose of conceiving new life and invent another apparent "superior" meaning to it. There is no reason to have sex with a person just because you admire the person, share values very deeply or like the person's company above any other person, out of the context that you wish to have children with this person and be a parent with this person. To this day I have found nobody that agrees with me on this, that values the beauty of sex for what it actually is.