Som Guy

Thanks for the suggestion, it did look rather bad as such a large string of sentences.

I have come here in hopes that whenever I happen to come upon some contradiction I can't see my own way out of or something that I know to be true yet do not understand the exact reasons behind it I can find an answer here. My experiance in coming to Objectivism has been rather rough, mostly unneccesarily, but I am throughly pleased with the current state of my life. I'm quite ashamed to admit that a year ago today I was still a avid believer in Christianity. I had disagreed a lot with the ideas it preaches, but took those as signs of me being an evil person. I didn't bother asking why these things were true, because the same answer I always got was "the bible says so." I assumed that this document had some sort of reason or explaination I couldn't grasp and let that idea satisfy me without ever checking it's validity. As soon as I did start reading it I realized what horrible of a mistake I had been making. Once free from this belief I stumbled blindly for what is true. I came to the assumption that nothing could be absolutly proven to be true, aside from logic, which I still believe. Starting from the basic truths that have to be true, such as "A is A" and that I have to exist in some shape or form because I have to exist in order to do anything, which I obviously am as I am pondering that very question. But unlike most people who believe this, I realize that all that means is this world is ethier my imagination, or real. There is no point in assuming I'm a raving lunatic imagining away his own little world without any reason to. I do however have a very good reason to believe that the world I precieve is reality because as of yet, doing such has kept me alive. I do not see how I could still remain alive if I am fumbling around in my dream world. So I trust my senses so long as they do follow logic. If I precieve a contradiction, I know that I'm ethier hallucinating psychologically or have been decieved. The chain of what I believe goes in the order of: logic, perceptions, logical conclusions made from firsthand preceptions, all othe logical conclusions based on the previous conclusion, information recieved secondhand from others, logical conclusions made integrating things already known and the secondhand information. When I find a contradiction I start at the least certain assumption made. I do not know how this differs from Objectivist Epistomology, as I haven't quite gotten around to reading the book on it... it's sitting there but it makes so many refrences to other philosphies and philosophical ideas that it's been a challenge to read. I went through my life from then until a few months later trying to figure out what I should think until my older brother reccomened to me that I read Fountainhead, which he had read for the essay contest held by the ARI, saying "This guy(Howard) is just like you." Now at this stage I was far from being such a logical and great being as Howard, but still the closest thing he had seen to him. I started reading and found it very very useful. It gave me reasons behind the things I felt to be true all along and helped me realize a lot about morality and altruism. Around my completion of the book an assignment was given to me by my English teacher that seems to me to be the conerstone of my self-esteem. The assignment was to "do two hours of selfless service and write about your experiance and how it helped you to grow as a person." At this time I had started to read Atlas Shrugged, which only reaffirmed to me the principles I now know to be true. Well I refused to do the assignment as such and wrote a paper instead on the futility of such an assignment, explaining the lack of virtue in selfless acts and how they cannot possibly make someone "grow as a person." I presented it to a standing ovation of my classmates. This is one of the greatest memories of my life, not because of their approval, but because of this was the first time I ever I had said this is what is right, this is why it is right, and I am completely certain of it. The teacher however gave me no credit for the assignment, which I expected and accepted as I did not do what was asked of me. I didn't think about it then, but I should have asked what 2 hours of selfless service has to do with my education in English. Since that day I have been trying to read and learn as much as I can about Objectivism and here I am. I didn't really mean to write such a long post

Well I still think given the context of the stements they are applying these ideas purely to believing what other people tell you. And about disliking that one part, I only disliked the one line "You're still controlled by the course that the other man takes" when reffering to rebelling for your own values. About this, I again choose to think by heart they mean your values and need to uphold them, and by instinct your own logic. Gah, I guess this really isn't that strong of an argument.

Well I myself have come across an instance of lyrics that seem to uphold Objectivist views. A single song, and the band obviously dosen't even know who Ayn Rand is or have any sort of set beliefs. They move from one idea to another rapidly, but I think they honestly understood the concept of "checking you premises" when they wrote this "How many times will they do the same thing? How did they get programmed to, your following? Everyone's locked up in their suffering The only way you can tell is reconsider everything What if the truth is that there is no truth(Though at first this might seem like it is counter Objectivist views, but what I think they mean is that there might be no truth in what they tell you) The only thing I can prove is there is no proof(same as above^) Don't be so sure that your source is correct(Don't trust others over yourself) People believed it before, before they had checked How many times can they tell you Til you just give them their way How many times can sell you Til you let them have their say Every time you will ignore your Heart it will come back twice more Never deny your own instinct Reconsider Everything Everybody want something they control Some just want grass some they want gold Either way does it feel good or feel low Taking you down not fast but real slow Rebellion done for it's own sake Does not a true free thinker make To go against for it's own sake You're still controlled by the course that the other man takes(This, sadly, is not Objectivist I have to admit) Reconsider everything, reconsider everything Reconsider everything, reconsider everything Reconsider everything, reconsider everything Reconsider everything" - Reconsider Everything- 311 But as you can see a good deal of it echos Objectivist ideas, but then agian I might just be hoping for something inside of nothing

I know they are useful... and I do learn them. The problem is my learning for the most part is done by reading, something I seem to have an affinity for. Most other types of learning have little to no affect on me actually ; It's useful because most everything you need to learn can be written down and easily avaible and is a quicker and solitary way of learning. Since I learn this way instead of the way most people seem to do(by experiance) I have no motivation to go through those methods of learning. I honsetly like learnign wahtever I can, because that way if my plans fail for some reason I can go for anything else I desire. This has been a plan of mine.... but I cannot afford college unless I qualify for a certain scholarship.... I meet all the requirements except one, a 3.0 GPA at time of taking the GED. I'm near it.... but don't have it just yet. And it really dosen't look like it's going to pick up ethier. If it does I'm taking it though.

The career desire to enter into is Genetic Engineering, which if the current political trends continue might not even be legal by the time I can actually do more than being an intern or assistant, the reason I value this career is because it offers a near unlimited range of ways to improve our lives and food. To be able to change the biological nature of plants(and hopefully one day animals) to man's benefit. Ever since I first heard about it I've wanted to do it. I realize it is a tough profession, but when you are doing what you want whatever you do is enjoyable. Now what is violated by me doing homework that I feel I cannot benefit from doing is the value of listening to reason. To require a reason to do anything I do do. Now if you say that doing the homework simply to get the grade when I see no connection between those two ideas is supporting ideas that I disagree with. I do not think homework should have any bearing on my grade and to do the homework in order to improve my grade I would be saying that there is a connection between the two. Now I sometimes do homework. But this is only when I feel that some practice is necessary to learn the concept better. I'm sure as I advance into harder courses than I'm in now I will do more. But right now a good deal of it seems like they are asking me to do something pointless. I do not wish to have to answer a question more than once or to be seen as not knowing it just because I did not know it at one point. But this is because I think that a grade should show knowledge and understanding of a subject. I do not know what else it should represent and I have no clue what it does represent at the moment.

I believe getting 87-98 on my tests is a good representation of my knowledge of the subject, I fail only because I do maybe 5% of the homework. The reason for me not getting closer to 100 would be small little mistakes in reading a question or if the question itself is subjective(a very common occurance in English). But do you realize I cannot do something without having a purpose given to me? Nobody bothers explaining or even knows the purpose as far as I've seen. They say "that is just the way it is." But nobdy will ever answer me when I ask why. I know, I think you have me mistaken, this thread was intended to find helpfull advice in possible alternatives. I am not asking for anyone to make an exception for me, I am merely trying to find out if there is any path for me to take aside from failing and making my ascent in the career of my choice a lot harder even though going along with this teaching method would be an even harder path for me to follow. It comes down to this, not going along with thier methods and taking the longer and being more risky path will and has made me much happier than taking the other one(I would rather drop the career than my values). I am asking for a possible third path, not to follow the second and expect the results of the first at the expense of someone else. I understand that, and have not claimed anywhere that anyone owes me anything. I gave a critique of thier system and asked if there was another system avaible. I said clearly that the only way I can see myself passing is rationalization(which is to say that the way I'm pursuing now will not let me pass). I think you are assuming far too much about what I have said. And the main problem is me not being able to do the work, it's not wanting to at all. I would rather fail out than graudate this way. I'm only trying to see if there is an alternative. Yes, but I have found that textbooks are infinitly more helpful than the teachers I have.

The ends do not justify the means for me. I will not say to them or myself that these things are actually neccesary for me to do this job. Regardless if this would be the only way for me to get the job, that is irrelevant. Actual circumstances do not change what the issue is. They do not matter because I will not swallow or pretend to swallow anyone else's values nor even act as though they are vaild if I do not think they are.

I do not find compormise or "coping" with something to be a vaible solution to my problem or any problem. I will not accept thier views.

But it is fair to ask one person to perform over and over again to prove the same thing just because another person cannot perform whenever they are asked? What other types of situations would you perform in? If you can perform under pressure, isn't that adequate proof you can perform without the pressure? What is a creative way? I am not only talking about tests with a series of fill in the answer type questions, an conceptual essay question can give a very good indication of whether they know and understand why the answer is a certain way. However I do not see what a lot of work I do has to do with this at all, copying definitions, solving the same type of math problems over and over again, etc.

But are we to do the homework for no reason? My parents refuse it.

I am a Sophmore in High School, who has been battling with a question for a long time. See in the school system we are given grades that are supposed to represent our knowledge in a certain subject. A good idea for a way to prove knowledge. However how it is implemented creates a deep lie and contradiction. This is because your grade consists of a large amount of assignments and tests. Instead of one final test to assure knowledge they insist on averaging previous measurements of knowledge along with the final to achive THE FINAL MEASURE OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE. How that could more accuratly display how much you know at the end of the semester than a est at the end of the semester I cannot comprehend. The use of work and other assgnments as part of a grade is nonsense. How do you propose copying down definitions or other types of work as adequate proof of knowledge? How can you pull yourself to do this work if you 1. Feel you already know the subject and would not benefit from doing it 2. Think about the fact that this is not necessary to prove you know this as you take tests to prove that 3. Realize that by doing this in order to keep your grade up you are conceding to them that they are right and your work is required to prove that you know something. The only way, rationalizing. You think you need to get the grade so you can go to college and go into a career. You tell yourself there is nothing you can do and that it wouldn't be so bad for you to just do this little bit and this little bit, trying not to actually think about what you are doing. You justify upholding thier lie by thier power over you. I have attempted to do this for as long as I can remember. I never actually succeeded in convincing myself in it and have only just made it by so far even though I get A and B grades on my exams only. Doing just this little bit had dropped my self esteem to a very low point. I however discovered the works of Ayn Rand recently through my brother who read The Fountainhead for the essay contest and told me I was "Just like Howard." Well now that I have read a large portian of her other works as well I am at a tough point. I cannot go on like I have, I now know better. I no longer can do any assignment unless it is to furthur my learning. This has caused me to get failing grades in several of my classes. If I continue this way I will not graduate. Yet oddly I feel better and happier than I ever have my entire life. These decisions will lead me to nto be able to pursue the career I want to.... but still make me so happy. I fear the main question I'm asking here is, should I continue like I am now and fail, or is there some other way for me to pass that does not require rationalization?