skye

i should have been more clear. i don't mean romantic relationships. i am in a long-term one already, but we end up being reclusive together or among our already-established groups. i'm not totally cut off from people, i'm just talking about on a day-to-day basis being more outgoing with whoever happens to be around me.

I have come across a few discussions here about introversion that comes from fear and lack of self-confidence. Does anyone else have the same problem for opposite reasons? I find that I value my time so much and am so negative about people in general that I do not seek out friendships. Like I have been in the past with books, because there are so many and I don’t want to waste time on anything that is not worthwhile, I tend to only give someone a chance if they come recommended. Not the most positive outlook I know. It’s not that I don’t believe any great people exist, but those gems are so incredibly rare that I usually decide it’s not worth spending a lot of energy mining for them. For any given person I can’t help figuring that they’re part of the other 99%, which prevents me from making the effort to start a conversation. I am not at all lonely. I work on my own projects and see the few people I already know I’ll enjoy spending time with; I don’t need anything more. But I’m wondering if this is healthy. I have not had a close female friend in years. (Any other Objectivist girls find that one particularly difficult?) I am so self-involved that if another person exactly like me who I would get along with perfectly existed, we would never meet, even if we crossed paths every day. So what prevents you from being pessimistic about people around you that you don’t know? How do you get the motivation to be outgoing when you look at the world we live in? What are the first signs you look for in a classmate or coworker to determine whether you want to know them better? Do Objectivists have time for each other? And if I am concerned about being able to spot one, what can I do to make myself more visible to people like me?

what does everyone think about dating an Objectivist that doesn't know they are? myself, i consider it even more impressive to have arrived at Rand's conclusions independently without having read her. granted, i know the philosophical terminology that goes along with my thoughts and perhaps have a clearer understanding of how it is all connected, but i don't think that's absolutely necessary. her philosophy is entirely logical, so it is not surprising to me that a rational person might get there without assistance, and it's more than a little encouraging. plus, having all the correct ideas already established, it's understandable that that person might not be interested in reading a lot material that states it in more complicated ways. there are people for whom philosophy is not a passion, and my boyfriend is one of them. the guy i am dating now agrees with me on every issue i consider to be important. we have the same economic and political opinions, the same sense of life (as best it is possible to judge), and value the same qualities. we both believe the only good reason to be in a relationship is a selfish one, for your own enjoyment, or it had better be ended, and we don't ask one another to make sacrifices. he just doesn't understand why i am so interested in putting a label on and studying what he has always considered to be obvious, whereas i came from a christian background and consider the ground rand managed to cover for me infinitely significant. it's hard to find the words to explain to him why i am so obsessed with this writer, except to say that i know if he read it he would understand why i love it, and that the feeling i get from reading AS is the same as the sound of his favorite triumphant music. i still have trouble though explaining just exactly what Objectivism is in layman's terms, briefly. i spend time on objectivist forums and continue reading rand's books. how important is it to be able to share that part of it? my conclusion so far is not very or not at all. and not having to be limited to self-proclaimed objectivists widens the field quite a bit too.