Mayhem, I've experienced many of the same thoughts and emotions as you mentioned in your post for a great deal of my life (I believe as far back as 5th grade). I don't know the specifics of your situation so I'll limit this thread to my personal experiences with it. Lately, for the past year or so, since I discovered Objectivism, I've dedicated a considerable amount of my time to figuring out the solution to this problem. I've outlined a few key concepts which have played a pivotal role in my improvement.
First of all, I want to say that I don't agree with modern psychologists who claim that these conditions are physiological. I do agree that some people have different chemical balances in their brain than others, but this is not the cause of anxieties and depressions. All evidence has pointed me in the direction that thoughts cause emotions and that brain chemicals are merely catalysts in this process. My first objective was to figure out what thoughts were causing these desires to distance myself from others. After rereading a chapter in Rand's Philosophy: who needs it? it dawned on me. It's too long to quote so I'll summarize it in my own words. It's in the chapter, Selfishness Without a Self in the second to last paragraph if you want to read it. She states that some of history's greatest minds have "escaped" into the physical sciences because of their inability to deal with reality. That they spend their time in a world where there is order and are capable of understanding it (e.g. physics, mathematics) instead of in a world of unknowable chaos (e.g. a world where some irrational men exist).
Once this sunk into my mind I realized where my desire to detach myself from other people came from: my not-knowing how to deal with them. This non-information has caused me to rationalize almost every reason why I shouldn't actively pursue relationships with others. But what I've recently realized is that I wanted to meet people, I wanted to have simple conversations occasionally with people, I just didn't know how to deal with "awkward silences" for example. What I've come to realize is that what I call the "spiritual" realm has order and is knowable just like the physical world. That being honest, for example, yields the same result as when you let an apple fall from your hand.
I know it sounds like such a simple concept, and something that should come easy to most Objectivists, but it's something I haven't considered until recently. This is why Galt speaks with such calm and confidence even when he's impending a possible torturous death at the top of the Wayne Falkland building: he understands what's caused him to be there and what to do. As far as how to act in certain situations, I've found the fundamental principles of Objectivism to be sound. My affirmation of these principles has been through trial and error through personal experience, and I encourage you to do the same. I hope this has been helpful to you Mayhem, as its been for me writing it. I know how difficult this can be and I wish you success. I would also like to hear your thoughts when you have a chance.
