3ngineer

I registered in order to share here. I am in the same boat as Mr.Cloogshicer, and Alfa, or at least in the same body of water. I went through Highschool getting ok (85-98 range) marks by doing as little as possible. I say that this resulted in a poor work ethic, but that isn't necessarily true. If given a project, I would often receive a mark of 100 (or, in some cases, 105)% because I enjoy projects; they give me a chance to create something as opposed to doing drone work. As another support, I joined the army, which takes at least a little bit of work. However, I still feel the same way about things I do currently. I am currently in an Engineering program and I am working about the same amount as I did in highschool (relative to the difficulty, anyways). I have found that it is not the work that is the problem, it is the content. For instance, if I stay the course marks-wise, I will receive an A+ in physics which interests me, yet I currently hope to get a B in chemistry, which I despise. That being said, I am still counterproductive in the rest of my courses, including physics. I avoid work, I procrastinate, and in the end feel a self loathing for it. This is a terrible thing to do. I always try to jump-start my motivation again by pursuing something other than my homework, like reading books on the topics I wish to study, or by working towards some life goal (ie: being as fit as Bruce Lee, and playing like Hendrix). These activities however, can only last so long before my homework catches up with me, and steals away my enjoyment. The problem lies in the fact that I am not working directly on what I value in school. I am working towards it yes, and my courses are necessary to achieve what I want, but they are not what I want, and thus seem more like a bother than a necessity. Without direct achievement of some value of mine, I feel apathetic. I dont care about my current studies because they don't deal with what I love directly. The getaways of exercise, and playing guitar with my friends are short bursts that keep me from losing my mind. They are things that I want to spend more time on, because they are something I value. In short, for Mr.C, I believe that the root of your apathy is the same as mine. You say now that you enjoy physics, and it helps you out of the slump. Surround yourself, in your spare time, with all that you value, as I do playing guitar, reading about robotics and neuroscience (The eventual field in which I wish to study), or simply relaxing and playing Halo with my friends. If you don't yet know your purpose (you are in early university, almost no one knows) find small things that you like, and build them together. Edit: also I would like to thank Grames and Ifat for posting those excerpts, they were absolutely terrific. Sorry for the length.