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mke's Achievements


Novice (2/7)



  1. Yes, I should have been more thorough with my post. You describe exactly what I am talking about. Maybe this concept of happiness I am referring to is really no different from what you are saying, as in "not doing things we don't value". I think I really just wanted to bring to light the reality that many people may be pursuing things they value, but are not realizing why they are not getting there or why they are making very little progress. I believe this has a lot to do with these unnecessary tasks that society has taught us we have to do simply because that's what responsible people do. For example, I hate going to weddings, birthday parties, and many other social events. Every time I go all I can think about is doing something else, either productive or fun for myself. I'm not going to go to one of these events again unless I truly want to. No one will drag me to it. I'm accepting the consequences and it feels great.
  2. Absolutely. Happiness would not come if you stopped doing the things you don't like but chose to do nothing rather than pursue things you do like (unless nothing is what actually made you happy). You always here about finding happiness by doing what you love, but so many people never get there because they do not realize they are bogged down by the tasks that do not make them happy. Or some do realize, yet they cannot bring themselves to face it and make the decisions that must be made. I think the negative needs to be acknowledged more because of this.
  3. I've been thinking about this and it seems to me that finding happiness is potentially as simple as having a personal mission statement to stop doing as many things possible that you don't want to do. Excluding things like not paying taxes or anything that would put you in jail. And excluding things that you may not enjoy doing but still do so because they are important to someone you love or admire enough to want to do for them. This would also not include things that you may have to do to get you to the position of not having to do them anymore. For example, you may start a business and have to do a part of the work that you hate doing but still want to do it because it is leading you towards your ultimate goal. I just think that if we eliminated so many of the unnecessary things in our lives that we can't stand doing, we would all be so much happier. You hate mowing the grass - pay someone to do it. You hate going to boring weddings and birthday parties - stop. You would rather go on vacation for the holidays instead of spending them with your crazy family - go on the vacation. Just something I've been thinking about and would love to hear your thoughts.
  4. I know this is vague, but should the "how many past partners have you had?" question be asked? Assuming you are in an intimate relationship with this person. I go back and forth. Sometimes I feel like I must know, but other times I feel like the past shouldn't matter. Let's assume that not wanting to know has nothing to do with being afraid of the answer.
  5. *** Mod's note: Merged into an existing topic. - sN *** Clearly there are cases where people feel like they have fallen in love instantly and go on to lead long healthy relationships. Is this just lust initially that develops into love for some? Are they mistaken to label it as true romantic love from the very beginning?
  6. mke

    Selling illegal drugs

    That may have something to do with it, yet I personally know at least one person that sell drugs and is not a seedy, scum bag criminal.
  7. mke

    Selling illegal drugs

    Would you say owning a liquor store is immoral? What is the difference (morally) between a liquor store and a weed store? I don't find anything immoral with a business man satisfying a demand that isn't violating anyone's rights. Just as I see nothing immoral with a business that contracts with the government for a service that the government has no business providing.
  8. I do not sell or consume any illegal drugs. I do believe all drugs should be legal for adults. How should I view people that sell illegal drugs? They don't seem immoral to me, yet something feels wrong. Maybe I just dislike that it seems like they are taking the easy route and that they risk so much for money.
  9. I had to be true to myself and realized that the only reason I wanted this is because I am completely in love with my wife's best friend. She is in love with me as well. We only want to be with each other. The whole situation sucks, but I have to go after my own happiness. So, I am getting a divorce and that's that. Is it possible that a three person relationship can work? I won't say it is impossible, but personally I no longer think it is viable. I believe there will always be some deception, knowingly or unknowingly. In my case, I deceived myself into believing that I loved both equally until I realized that I was just rationalizing the situation so that it would continue. I had to face up to the fact that my wife's best friend is my highest value and that I no longer have a desire to be with my wife. How is that for an update? Look for us on Jerry Springer soon.
  10. I have already been thinking about what you have brought up. I guess my answer is that I feel that I love both of them, but would choose my wife. My girlfriend understands this as she has accepted that if this were to not work out, that she would be left alone. Of course it scares her, but she still wants this. I think it has to do with the fact that she is romantically involved with my wife. Maybe the value she gets from loving me and being able to have that with my wife is enough to accept her place and the risk.
  11. It isn't deceptive if it is known. My girlfriend understands that she is coming into a marriage and a relationship with a long history. It is accepted. I already feel that I love her equally, differently because like you said human beings are not identical, but nonetheless equally. Maybe it isn't possible in the long run and I will lean towards one or the other. I guess that I can only deal with that if and when I feel that way. This relationship is not without a great deal of risk.
  12. We have had some friends that have reacted very negatively. Not so much from my friends, all I get are high fives! My wife's good friend and my girlfriend's (guess I will call her that to eliminate confusion) good friend were not at all supportive initially, but since they have both made an effort to be open towards the situation. They are rightfully concerned and time may be the only thing that will comfort them. I have also very easily detected some jealousy from them as I know neither of them are truly happy in their relationships and they see us as something so non-traditional and they cannot grasp how we could be happier than them. It's funny because the people that we thought would be most unsupportive have overwhelmingly been the most supportive. Don't get me wrong here, we haven't broken the news to everyone. A few relatives have been told and they immediately said they saw how happy we were together and are supportive
  13. Yes, I agree with your assessment of blaming the difficulties on others. Personally, it is not an issue with myself, because I have never concerned myself with what outsiders think. It is an issue with the women, yet they have already started to see that any troubles that arise will do so from within one of us. Where we basically stand at this point, is that we are laying everything on the table. All of our doubts, fears, feelings, etc., and then trying to objectively analyze them. Not the easiest thing sometimes. I am an objectivist, but I was not a philosophy major and it is not my career. I am here because I do not have all the answers and never stop learning.
  14. My wife has a strong attraction, emotionally and physically, to her friend. She has told me that she loves her. I am not bisexual and will never have that towards another man, so I don't think you are comparing apples to apples. This relationship did start out as purely sexual. We tried to keep emotions out of it, but very quickly we all realized that we had feelings for one another.
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