tuxthepenguin

ONCE I become sexually active, I won't have any concerns over this whatsoever. That was my point - that sex looks a lot different to those who've had it than it does to those who haven't. But it's not up to just me - if it were only my decision, I'd have had sex by now. The older I get, the more and more strange it will be for a woman to encounter a virgin. I'm afraid that my ability to lead a normal, fulfilling sex life is fading away because of how unhealthily long it's taken me to lose my virginity. Peikoff said in a recent podcast that young people should be having sex; that nothing can replace the feeling that it provides; and that it is necessary in life. He said that he would even give up art over sex. According to most scientific evidence, however, I've only got a few years of my "sexual prime" left. Sure, I could be a virgin until I'm 38 and then have sex for the remainder of my life (perhaps another 38 years?) but I want to experience sex as most young people experience it too. I'm a few months from my 21st birthday, attractive, well-dressed, a good student, and artistically-talented - and I walk home alone from parties every weekend. It's the most confusing thing in the world to me.

I wish that this is what I could report. Instead, I'm up typing this right now as both of my roommates have sex in their respective rooms. Perhaps sex is one of those things that can be looked at in a lighter manner after you've had it, but not being able to experience what I consider one of the most important aspects of living an adult life is destroying me mentally. I have a natural, testosterone-driven urge to have sex, and despite my efforts, I am disappointed time and time again. I have less than a year until my college experience is over, and I dread the possibility that I may graduate and never experience the sex-fest that college is to so many. What confuses me so much is what I see when I look around; when I look at those who are having sex, I wonder how, of all people, I'm the one that can't get any. I'm fit, not creepy, and go to parties and socialize like a normal college kid. Meanwhile, mentally-disturbed slobs are getting laid all around me. I'm considering seeking psychiatric help over this issue, because it simply consumes more and more of my thoughts each day. I suppose my biggest concern is that I can't understand what I'm doing wrong, and what so many others are doing right. You can't just ask your friends these things. In fact, my friends assume I'm sexually-active. =/ Thanks to all those who bothered to respond.

I hope this isn't an inappropriate topic to bring up for my first post, but I've read so much helpful advice in this forum through my lurking that I think I may be able to get a helpful answer here. I am twenty years old and each day that passes makes me more and more depressed about my current situation. I'm a college student at a major university, entering my senior year. I have a good social life, a good amount of friends, an active schedule, and am in pretty decent physical shape. My friends tell me I have a good eye for fashion and always look presentable. There's just one problem that I am quite embarrassed about - to this day, I am still a virgin. I have no difficulty talking with girls, and am even good friends with a few. It confuses me to no end that I have still not been able to have sex, even though my "standards" for who I choose to pursue have only gotten lower as time goes on. There is little else I want more than to lose my virginity, as my mind and body are unmistakably telling me that "it's time." I see sex all around me at college, and both my roommates are sexually active in relationships, which doesn't help matters. It's gotten to the point where I am not even concerned about having a relationship - I just want the sex so that I can rid this concern from my mind. It's not a question of impotence - I am an active squash player and am in decent physical shape, with a high endurance and a healthy appetite. It's not a question of personality - if I am able to be friends with girls, then surely I should be able to have a girlfriend? So I'm not truly sure what it is. Every article I've read by Ayn Rand regarding sex has been enlightening, but not helpful to my predicament. (I can't tell if I'm poorly deciphering her words, or if she hasn't brought the topic up.) It doesn't help that in Anthem, the main character is having "legitimate" sex before the age of 21, but I suppose it does help that in Atlas Shrugged, d'Anconia displays the virtue of not sleeping with every slut that offers their body to him. I know it isn't proper to concern myself with the activities of other people, but I can't help but notice these things and draw parallels, since I don't see what I'm doing so wrong that so many others are doing correctly. Since I am fairly certain that I am not mentally handling this problem correctly, what would be the proper way of contextualizing and processing my issue so that I can improve myself?