4reason Posted November 26, 2007 Report Share Posted November 26, 2007 Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to say the two acts are even close to being comparable... but why is it the more I settle into lacking a romantic partner, the more exercise I find myself doing? Is it purely neurological? Are there happy little endorphines being released that help take the edge off of the thought of what I'm currently lacking in my life? Or is it psychological? Am I trying to get in shape (on more of a subconscious level) in order to attract a new partner? On a conscious level, I would say that's not the case. While I have been on some "dates" (some good, some nearly criminal) I have made it explicitly known I am not looking for that kind of relationship right now. Does that turn guys away? No. They go out with me anyway. They all seem to think THEY'LL be the one to convince me otherwise. I always laugh on the inside when I begin to sense this in their conversations... As to this whole exercise phenomenon, what's really weird is that during the one relationshp I've ever been in,whenever I felt "that way" but wasn't with my guy I would reach for a piece of chocolate. Now, whenever I have that urge (which is more often now... perhaps a statement of new self-esteem ...) I exercise: pilates, yoga, running, cross training, walking, etc. The result? I'm getting in great shape, and the exercise does seem to get rid of the craving (though it can't completely erase the thought). Does this fit with the notion that sex is a celebration of one's self and of existence? Can exercise offer the same celebration? If it doesn't, why do I feel "better" after having exercised the urge away? My recent boot from the romantic front has forced me to focus on me for the time being, and maybe that new focus is making me value that feeling of physical exertion and strength even more. These are useful feelings to exercise in the bedroom, but apparently they can make one feel better when used for personal, non-sexual purposes as well. It's almost like I don't want sex --hence why I am not pursuing anything with the guys I've been dating-- because the men who are willing in no way embody what I now consider and can explictly identify as my highest values. They want the act, but are not willing or able to comit to the proper amount of thought involved. The physical action of exercise is not without its guiding idea; just as sex should have the guidance of one's code of values. The more I think about what sex should be, the more I realize how impossible that would be to achieve with these men I meet. Sometimes, honestly, it's hard not to laugh at how horribly these men are separating cause from effect in their intentions, no matter how hard they try to hide that fault. That's the number one moment to exercise: when I get home from one of these "dates." It lets me shake off that sense of seemingly eternal sexual despondency while letting me feel invigorated at the same time. My mind begins to outright control every movement of my body, and that sense of control helps my mind feel at ease. In other words, it somehow has the ability to make my mind feel the same way it does after sex. My body feels tired, yes, but I've discovered no amount of exercise can come close to replicating that physical feeling that follows an exhasting session of lovemaking.(if anyone knows of such an exercise, please let me know and by exercise I mean something other than self-service; that's boring). So if sex is metaphysical and makes one feel exhiliarated because it is the physical celebration of one's values, how come exercise is producing the same effect? Is it simply because my esteem for myself has now, finally, taken its proper place? And because I can't celebrate it with the one man I thus far deem proper, I celebrate with myself in this way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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