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The Holy Trinity

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I play in a bell choir at a local Methodist church.

I'm not a member, I don't believe, and I don't pay lip-service to the church's service - I just like music and enjoy playing in the bell choir. My wife also plays, and so does my mother-in-law, who IS a member of the church. So its kind of a family thing for us to play music together.

So this last sunday was "Trinity Sunday", in which the Methodists (and possibly other denominations) attempt to explain the inexplicable. They attempt to explain how God can be three persons and one person simultaneously.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Theology, it goes like this:

God is The Father is creator of all things, made the universe, mankind, etc. etc. and gave us original sin with rigged garden of pardise

God is The Son is the direct child of God, conceived by immaculate conception, Jesus Christ

God is The Holy Spirit is ... well... pretty much no Christian understands or agrees on that, but its really mystic

God is considered to be all three of those entities, AT the same time, AT ALL times, in Christian theology.

So the pastor at this church, a serious hyper-pseudo intellectual, spent about 30 minutes talking about the trinity, which mainly involved 25 minutes of rambling on about a bunch of unrelated material supposedly focused on the question "Who are you, really?", and then ended with his "proof" of the trinity to his atheist or doubting or something negative friend who wanted an explanation.

Long story short, the pastor showed him three forms of water - they walked on ice, they drank tea, and they wrote in water vapor condensed on a mirror (never mind that the latter was liquid, it was to illustrate steam). He then said that this was how God was a trinity - three forms, one being.

I wanted to scream.

The claim is that God is analogous to water didn't, to pardon the pun, hold water in the slightest.

No quantity of water is ever able to be Gaseous, Solid, AND Liquid at the same time. A cup of water may be frozen, or melted, or transitioning, or transitioning from solid to gas, but no single molecule of water is ever in both states at once, let alone all three.

I swear it was all I could do not to just burst out laughing at the nonsense.

By the end of it all, the whole congregation was practically asleep, impatient to get the hell out of church, and this pastor thought he'd proven that A is both A, and NOT A, and sort kinda A, all at once.

UGH! :)

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God is omnipotent. He can be A and Not A and Not A (and even Not Not A) at the same time if He wants to. He can also dice, slice and make julienne fries! And He's all yours for the low, low price of everything you are, everything you own and every waking moment of your time for as long as you shall leave! You won't get a better bargain this side of the Ninth Circle of Hell! Send a check or money order (no credit cards) as downpayment to the nearest church, synagogue or mosque! This one-time only offer is not available at any store! (stores ahve more sense than that). Call now! Operators are standing by!

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The notion of trinity was not universally accepted by early Christians. It is really funny how many hours and lives have been frittered away in arguing if the trinity is valid, and if so exactly in what sense: three entities, three modes of one entity, three types of human experiences of the same entity. It is bizarre to contemplate the councils and arguments by church leaders, about something that is fictional.

From what (little) I know, even today, the mormons hold out for three entities, while the Jehovah Witnesses argue for some notion of Christ not being quite as almighty as the real almighty god. It's all very confusing -- I can't keep it straight ... like the magic in those Harry Potter books.

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I can't keep it straight ... like the magic in those Harry Potter books.

I find Harry Potter magic to be much more understandable because it was one person creating it, knowing it's supposed to be fiction. :)

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