My short fairy tale.

[Juxtys]

Once there was a boy who lived in a small farmer village. He was extremely poor, and since his parents death, and they were lazy enough not to leave much for him to inherit. Also, the boy has fallen in love with the daughter of the village's richest farmer. Since the girls in that community were sold as slaves, he could not afford her. He weighted all the option available for him and found the only possible solution: to pay a visit for the swamp dwellers.

Every local knew that the swamps were the home of devils, since they liked the murky places and tried to grab the passers by from their wells, but the boy had no other choice and came there at midnight. The moon light the swamp as the boy approached the passage to the swamp. A guardian greeted him there:

'What do you want, little boy?'

'I... I need to borrow 1000 gold pieces from your master.', answered the boy.

'I see that you need them. Wait a bit.', the devil guardian whispered and left the boy alone.

After an hour, the lord devil came near the pass and handed the boy a huge sack of gold, under one condition:

'You will have to bring all this gold after a year, by midnight. Otherwise, you will have to become one of us for 1000 years, since you borrowed from us 1000 gold pieces.'

The boy had no other choice but to accept. As he came back to the village, his life has changed. He managed to build a new house for himself, increase his farmlands and buy additional cattle. In that one year, he became so rich that he could simply gather that 1000 gold pieces to bring the devil back.

As he approached the swamps, he could picture them even darker. A small devil met him on his passage to the devil's kingdom and told him to go back;

'The old devil is no longer in charge, because he at last found a man worthy of his gold. You can keep that sack you come with and everything what's inside.

As the boy came back, he was happier than ever in his life. He married his loved one at the next week and they lived long and happily ever after.

The End.

Any comments?

[Greebo]

I like it. It needs some work on the Grammar and use of the language, but I assume your native tongue is not English, so as creative writing in a second language it's very very good.

It needs some explanation as to why he only had one choice. Why couldn't he get a job, or borrow money from someone in town? Also what were the devils, and how did they relate to the village? Not much - just a little explanation behind the major concepts. He needed money - why? He went to the Devils - who are they? What kinds of deals did they offer? That sets the stage, so the specific offer made to him makes more sense immediately. Maybe talk about how whenever someone went to the devils, eventually the devils collected the person - thus setting the stage for why it was significant that the old head devil could be set free.

But the moral is good - if you take well considered risks and you apply yourself to the best of your ability you can not only succeed, but prosper beyond your imaginations.

Very nice work!

[Juxtys]

I like it. It needs some work on the Grammar and use of the language, but I assume your native tongue is not English, so as creative writing in a second language it's very very good.

It needs some explanation as to why he only had one choice. Why couldn't he get a job, or borrow money from someone in town? Also what were the devils, and how did they relate to the village? Not much - just a little explanation behind the major concepts. He needed money - why? He went to the Devils - who are they? What kinds of deals did they offer? That sets the stage, so the specific offer made to him makes more sense immediately. Maybe talk about how whenever someone went to the devils, eventually the devils collected the person - thus setting the stage for why it was significant that the old head devil could be set free.

But the moral is good - if you take well considered risks and you apply yourself to the best of your ability you can not only succeed, but prosper beyond your imaginations.

Very nice work!

Thank you. My native language is Lithuanian, that's why my grammar and use of language is not that good.

Devils play a huge role in Lithuanian mythology. They are known to be swamp dwellers, because it was believed that swamps are the passage to other realm and to enter it, you have to drown.

Unlike the Scandinavian Mythology, Lithuanian pictures a devil as a cheeky, fun-loving being, that is relatively easy to cheatupon. Also, mills were associated with devils, and mill owners were blamed for signing treaties with devils. Mill devils were believed to be hard-working and loyal to their masters.

The boy in this story was too poor to be able to borrow that much money from someone in town and wanted to marry a daughter of a rich farmer. To marry a rich farmer's daughter, you must've been equally rich and hired field hands were badly paid. So, the only option was to strike a deal with a devil.

Devils were believed to be very just creatures. They hated lazy people and rewarded the hard-working ones. Devils in our mythology not only lend money. Also, they employ musicians at their parties or bless you to have success bargaining for a bride in exchange for your first daughter.

The old devil retired because the boy did not try tricking him. If he, on the other hand, wanted to keep all that gold for himself, the devils would not allow the boy to have rest.

I hope this answers all of your questions.

[Randroid]

Thanks for the clarification, that was really helpful. Makes a lot more sense to non-Lituanians now. I like your fairy tale, excellent work.