Hazmatac Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 The scenario: My mom argued with my dad and me and left somewhere unknown (for the last two days). My driving test is today. My dad's headlight is out, we need a new car. He calls up his friend, but says to say that mom somewhere where we know, to make my dad look good. I am opposed to it and we fight over it.The issue never gets brought up. He threatened never doing me any more favors if I don't lie about mom. What should I do? Alternate Scenario: I am a 8 year old and mom makes me late to school, tells me to lie and say we had car problems. Should I go against her and tell the truth? What should I do? Thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Lonely Rationalist Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 Why would the fact that a parent tells you to lie make any difference compared to lying normally? It's still a faking of reality. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grames Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 Both scenarios involve being embarrassed about a situation which is not anyone else's business. You can comply with the spirit of the request by deflecting away any questions leading to the sensitive topic. That would avoid embarrassing anyone further and keep you from lying. Deflection can be gentle as in artfully directing the conversation or a blunt "none of your business", whatever is warranted by the nosiness of the person prying into your affairs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazmatac Posted June 30, 2009 Author Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 Both scenarios involve being embarrassed about a situation which is not anyone else's business. You can comply with the spirit of the request by deflecting away any questions leading to the sensitive topic. That would avoid embarrassing anyone further and keep you from lying. Deflection can be gentle as in artfully directing the conversation or a blunt "none of your business", whatever is warranted by the nosiness of the person prying into your affairs. Never thought of none of your business, that's a good one. I would have gone with "I don't feel like disgussing it right now." Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greebo Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 Never thought of none of your business, that's a good one. I would have gone with "I don't feel like disgussing it right now." Thanks More tactful, and so probably less alienating to others when you say it. I'd start with, "I'd rather not talk about it" and if someone is pushy, then move onto, "I said I don't want to talk about it, and since its none of your ****ing business, I'm not going to, so stop pushing your nose where it doesn't belong before it gets hurt." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizdum Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 In either scenario I'd be shopping for new parents; parents who would not hold their child's virtues hostage to their secondhand self-image, incompetence and refusal to be responsible adults. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-Mac Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 Shopping for new parents? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wizdum Posted June 30, 2009 Report Share Posted June 30, 2009 Shopping for new parents? As if it isn’t bad enough to fake reality oneself, it’s even worse yet to ask someone else to do it for you and monstrous to make such demands of any child, let alone ones own. Yes, I'd go shopping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cliveandrews Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 As if it isn’t bad enough to fake reality oneself, it’s even worse yet to ask someone else to do it for you and monstrous to make such demands of any child, let alone ones own. Yes, I'd go shopping! 8 year olds can post on the internet? That's crazy to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K-Mac Posted July 1, 2009 Report Share Posted July 1, 2009 Haz, we obviously don't pick (or buy) our parents, and despite what our culture and Christian "morality" expects of you, you do not have to value your parents. From what I know about you, you may be in a position where you must live with them, at least for now, so you will just have to make things work until you can get out on your own. As others stated above, there are ways to get around your situation without lying, so I would tell your dad that is how you plan to approach the situation. (Hopefully, your dad will learn something from you in the process.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hazmatac Posted July 2, 2009 Author Report Share Posted July 2, 2009 Haz, we obviously don't pick (or buy) our parents, and despite what our culture and Christian "morality" expects of you, you do not have to value your parents. From what I know about you, you may be in a position where you must live with them, at least for now, so you will just have to make things work until you can get out on your own. As others stated above, there are ways to get around your situation without lying, so I would tell your dad that is how you plan to approach the situation. (Hopefully, your dad will learn something from you in the process.) Thanks Kelly. Indeed, I have to live with my parents for the time being for my mental health, but I am slowly getting better. Thanks Kelly and thank you everyone for the advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q.E.D. Posted July 2, 2009 Report Share Posted July 2, 2009 You can also try to explain your situation to your father. He might confuse your general aversion to lying with laziness, spite, or some nameless fuck-you-dad. I'm sure he won't evaluate the situation on rational terms unless you walk him through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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