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Objectivist adultery

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gauthier
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For me it would be a deal breaker. I love my boyfriend based on common values and goals. If he were to cheat, it would mean part of who I thought he was before was false. Thus, not the person I fell in love with. It all comes down to what kind of relationship you want and whether or not you can still have that when you're completely honest with yourself.

I'd like to get a few opinions on this.

If you were married to an Objectivist and he/she commited adultery what would you do? Is this a deal breaker? Can your spouse still claim to be an Objectivist? I realize that I am leaving out the context so PM me if you would like more detail. I could really use the advice...

Thanks.

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The act of sex celebrates the best in life. It celebrates your personal joy in life and value of that person you are having sex with it. Because of that, the person you have sex with needs to be the best person you can be with. They are your highest valued person.

When someone cheats on you, they are saying that you are no longer their highest value. This other person has become their highest value. If they did not tell you this before they cheated on you, they are being dishonest. Every moment they are with you, they are living a lie.

The only rational way to "cheat" on someone (and it isnt really cheating at this point) is to be honest with your partner. They should tell you "I no longer see you as my highest value, and wish to be with someone else." At this point the relationship should be over and you should both go your seperate ways.

You of course, should try to convince them why they are wrong, and you are the better man to be with (assuming you are). If you are right, and they still dont want to be with you then you should break off the relationship immediately. Anything else would be a waste of your time and theirs.

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The act of sex celebrates the best in life. It celebrates your personal joy in life and value of that person you are having sex with it. Because of that, the person you have sex with needs to be the best person you can be with. They are your highest valued person.

When someone cheats on you, they are saying that you are no longer their highest value. This other person has become their highest value. If they did not tell you this before they cheated on you, they are being dishonest. Every moment they are with you, they are living a lie.

The only rational way to "cheat" on someone (and it isnt really cheating at this point) is to be honest with your partner. They should tell you "I no longer see you as my highest value, and wish to be with someone else." At this point the relationship should be over and you should both go your seperate ways.

You of course, should try to convince them why they are wrong, and you are the better man to be with (assuming you are). If you are right, and they still dont want to be with you then you should break off the relationship immediately. Anything else would be a waste of your time and theirs.

Very well said.

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When someone cheats on you, they are saying that you are no longer their highest value. If they did not tell you this before they cheated on you, they are being dishonest.

More than dishonest. Lying and scamming.

Every moment they are with you, they are living a lie.

I would say they're making YOU live a lie, through lying.

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If you were married to an Objectivist and he/she commited adultery what would you do?

Confront (in a non-violent fashion) and interrogate the individual.

Their motives/reasoning/psychological state/etc... would all be relevent to how I would proceed.

Its pretty complex, so generating some IF-Then scenarios would be tough.

Is this a deal breaker?

Probably... but not absolutely.

Can your spouse still claim to be an Objectivist?

This is probably one of the least relevent questions I would be asking myself.

To me, trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship.

Cultivation of that trust takes time, and infidelity instantly erases all of it.

My interrogation would primarily be an attempt to make a judgment about whether or not the person was worthy of risking any further trust and emotional investments on, or whether we were finished.

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