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Japan's First Lady: I was abducted by aliens

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http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/sep/0...-hatoyama-japan

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/worl...icle6819688.ece

Japan recently elected a new Prime Minister, Yukio Hatoyama. His wife, 66 year old Miyuki Hatoyama, amongst other things, claims to have been taken to Venus by aliens.

While my body was sleeping, I think my spirit flew on a triangular-shaped UFO to Venus,” she said. “It was an extremely beautiful place and was very green.” Her first husband suggested that it was probably just a dream — but Mr Hatoyama, she insisted, would not be so dismissive. “My current husband has a different way of thinking,” she said. “He would surely say, ‘Oh, that's great!’”

"I eat the sun," Miyuki says, raising her arms as if to tear pieces off an imaginary sun. "Like this: yum, yum, yum. It gives me enormous energy. My husband has recently started doing that too." Clearly, this is where Gordon Brown has been going wrong.

It was during one of these that she spoke of her past-life friendship with Cruise and her ambition to make a film with him.

“He was Japanese in his past life, and we were together so when I see him, I will say, ‘Hi. It’s been a long time,’ and he will immediately understand,” she said.

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It had to happen sooner or later, you do realize, folks? Japan has been on the cutting edge for so long that it was inevitable that it would slip off the edge, fall down the rabbit hole, smash its head through the looking-glass and arrive, hallucinating, at Bizarro World.

Can you see what future negotiations with Japan will be like?

"I'm sorry, President Obama, but I am afraid you have to comply with our demands, otherwise our first lady will eat the sun."

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Can you see what future negotiations with Japan will be like?

"I'm sorry, President Obama, but I am afraid you have to comply with our demands, otherwise our first lady will eat the sun."

Now that you mention that, does anyone know if it's OK for a vegetarian/vegan to eat celestial bodies?

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  • 1 month later...
"I eat the sun," Miyuki says, raising her arms as if to tear pieces off an imaginary sun. "Like this: yum, yum, yum. It gives me enormous energy. My husband has recently started doing that too." Clearly, this is where Gordon Brown has been going wrong.

gordon_brown_is_tired.jpg

Mr. Brown, preparing to eat the sun.

eat_sun.jpg

NO!!!! Someone's already gotten to it! Now he will never be able to unite the forces of Japan's First Lady, Tom Cruise, and L. Ron Hubbard save the planet from Global Warming!

Edited by Devils_Advocate
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While obviously laughable I don't find it any more bizarre than most of our elected officials' belief in a very grumpy Jewish man in the sky concerning himself with our sex lives, foreskins and shellfish platters whose zombie son wants us to drink his blood and pretend crackers are his flesh.

In fact, I think aliens are significantly more plausable.

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