Jump to content
Objectivism Online Forum

Could you date a stripper?

Rate this topic


Ben Archer
 Share

Recommended Posts

And could you (guys) date a stripper?
Absolutely not. My wife would kill me.

But also, why would you want to date someone who was "just in it for the money"? A career is supposed to be about your central purpose in life. Or do you mean, could I date a law student who's stripping to put herself through law school? So she's not really a stripper, she's a law student who happens to be temporarily working as a strippre. I'd still have to clear that with my wife.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My cousin was a male dancer and if I was a girl I would have dated him. He approached it as a career and eventually learned about the night club business and opened several night clubs, gentlemen's clubs and limo services with the money he saved from the job. The job gave him a lot of capital to get on the right path and become a multimillionaire before 30.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A simple question, but the answer isn't so clear to me. Assuming the girl was just in it for the money, and thought of it as a job, nothing more, would it be wrong to strip? And could you (guys) date a stripper?

The idea of treating it as "just for the money" seems worse than someone who really enjoyed that kind of work.

The idea of some girl dancing because it makes her feel like some sort of sex goddess is much more interesting and attractive than someone who MUST dance because it affords her a paycheck. In particular, depending on how far she will go with the stripping, she will be sharing something that is normally reserved for more intimate occasions, nudity, sexuality. If she doesn't enjoy doing this, then I would see it as a something bad, in the same way I think soldiers who do not enjoy soldiering are doing something bad. Those high-risk sorts of jobs that require unusual personalities shouldn't be pursued lightly (if they want to preserve what is being risked).

For the question though, I don't think I would, not because I think being an exotic dancer is inherently evil, but because I am not entirely sure how I could fit into that woman's life, just like I am not sure how I could fit into a soldier's life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A lot of context seems to be missing. Are we speaking of the exotic dancer type of stripper, or the kind who works at a trashy strip club? Stripping could be treated as performance art, which may or may not be trashy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A lot of context seems to be missing. Are we speaking of the exotic dancer type of stripper, or the kind who works at a trashy strip club? Stripping could be treated as performance art, which may or may not be trashy.

CONTEXT CONTEXT CONTEXT, yes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My girlfriend wants to go back to dancing because we're going through some hard times. I found out early on in the relationship that she used to dance, and it didn't bother me because she said she was past it.

She loved it because it gave her confidence. The place she worked at isn't trashy, but it's not the classiest place in the world either. She says she enjoys the fast paced environment, that she's good at it, and that she can make a lot of money. I tell her my concerns about how she'll be getting naked and giving guys lap dances, but she says I'm just being insecure, that she doesn't get turned on doing it, and that's not why she enjoys it. That it's "just a job" in that way.

I'm not sure what to think, but at this point, If I try to keep her from dancing any longer, she's going to leave me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If that is what she wants to do, and you really care about her and wish to be in her life, let her do it. It's understandable you may have feelings of jealousy because strangers can see her nekkid, but it's just a job. There used to be a classy strip club almost across the street from where I work (it was demolished to make way for a convention center) and the girls would pull in $1000 a night on a good day, and drove Beemers and Mercedes. The bouncers escorted them to and from their vehicles so weirdoes wouldn't bother them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you can get through the (nearly) inevitable pang of jealousy and believe that she isn't looking for an excuse to get out of your relationship, let her do it. If I was in your position, I would, but I don't really get jealous. If the roles were reversed, I could see myself remaining detached in a sexually-charged job like that.

A job is a job if you need money, as long as it's not morally reprehensible. With stripping, as long as the boundaries remain clear and it stays just a titillating entertainment (ie. it's "classy" and not "sleazy"), I don't find it immoral.

However, if you can't get past it, or if she isn't being totally honest with you, in your situation it may be immoral to stay with her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Whoa! What is wrong with doing things for money? We need things to survive, we have obligations we have undertaken, and they virtually cost moolah. Ideally, you would find work that satisfies other aspects of your being, but let's not put that young lady down.

And, ain't nothing wrong or degrading about stripping...society has a warped view of it and just about everythinh else sexual. The human body can be beautiful and a joy to behold...beauty reflects the ideal and is evidence that there is perfect order in the Universe, a critical pillar to our self esteem...(there is an order and we can know it).

Rather than restrict, restrain, fence in, the scope of our interests and attention, and the joys they evoke, let's set them free.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh hell yes. :D

Well ... maybe, as long as she wasn't gruesomely overweight and ugly. :)

And asked me nicely.

Long while ago, I dated an 'escort lady', who was actually one very sweet, romantic, and bright girl.

Of course, when I found out, I went into a jealous fit, and broke it up.

Now, I think I was an immature idiot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would not have a problem with it. But then, both my fiance and I are bisexual and kind of sexually adventurous. We haven't done anything with other people yet, but plan to do it together.

If there is no emotional or intellectual attachment to the sexual activity, and it is done with the consent of both people in the relationship, then I don't think there is anything morally wrong with it. That is, I have no problem with sex simply for the sake of physical pleasure (and this might be outside the thinking of strict Objectivism, but oh well).

It is only if a sexual encounter outside the relationship became more than just sex that I would take issue with it. In my own situation, my finace is actually living in a different state from me right now (I am going to be moving there when I can find a job). If she told me she wanted to go out and try to pick someone up just to have sex because she was horny all the time, I would have no problem with it. However, she has a male friend that she sees on a fairly regular basis that she thought she might want to have sex with, and I said absolutely not. AFAIK, she respected my wishes on that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Whoa! What is wrong with doing things for money? We need things to survive, we have obligations we have undertaken, and they virtually cost moolah. Ideally, you would find work that satisfies other aspects of your being, but let's not put that young lady down.

And, ain't nothing wrong or degrading about stripping...society has a warped view of it and just about everythinh else sexual. The human body can be beautiful and a joy to behold...beauty reflects the ideal and is evidence that there is perfect order in the Universe, a critical pillar to our self esteem...(there is an order and we can know it).

Rather than restrict, restrain, fence in, the scope of our interests and attention, and the joys they evoke, let's set them free.

Money isn't the only consideration that should be taken when considering to do a job or not. As I said earlier, I don't think it would be a good idea to be a soldier if one didn't like that sort of thing, I think being a stripper for money only would be bad as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I decided to support her decision. It wasn't easy for me to do. However, since I resisted it for the last 4 or so months—which apparently caused her to resent me—she's moving out for "a few weeks or so" so she can have "some space." She says she still loves me but needs time to get her life in order.

Edited by Ben Archer
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I decided to support her decision. It wasn't easy for me to do. However, since I resisted it for the last 4 or so months—which apparently caused her to resent me—she's moving out for "a few weeks or so" so she can have "some space." She says she still loves me but needs time to get her life in order.

The stripping aside, if you love her hang in there. I went through the same thing with my fiance. She moved back home after living with me for 10 months (hence the living in different states) because she didn't like NY and because she wanted some space from me. I said I would move in with her in Ohio if she wanted to stay together. After about a month apart she realized she really missed me and now can't wait until I move there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The stripping aside, if you love her hang in there. I went through the same thing with my fiance. She moved back home after living with me for 10 months (hence the living in different states) because she didn't like NY and because she wanted some space from me. I said I would move in with her in Ohio if she wanted to stay together. After about a month apart she realized she really missed me and now can't wait until I move there.

Thank you for this—it's been really tough and I'm glad to know it's working out for you. I do love her, and I fully respect her decision. The contrast is pretty unbearable though, and the self–doubt at times.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As I said earlier, I don't think it would be a good idea to be a soldier if one didn't like that sort of thing, I think being a stripper for money only would be bad as well.

I think it depends on context. What are the alternatives? If there's a different career that you would love and that paid enough to live on, but you decide to do something you don't enjoy because it pays better, that's bad. But you may not have a better alternative. My parents had a friend who as far as I know didn't have a strong career passion. He wound up building a career specializing in helping airlines deal with regulatory paperwork or somesuch -- he didn't enjoy it, he didn't hate it, and it paid close to seven figures a year. He got his enjoyment outside of his profession, and that worked for him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Let's get real about this whole 'what career is respectable enough for a rational, and moral, person' thing.

We can't all be architects, and it is a tough world out there.

A friend of mine was once in some anguish about taking a job as sales rep with a heavy equipment (earth movers, cranes, etc) company. So he'd always had an layman's interest in engineering, but wasn't educated highly.

What he was is one of the finest blues guitarists in the country - really up there with the best of the US, and it's not just his buddy saying this!

So, I asked what's the problem?

He felt that though it was a hard life making a living out of music, he'd be "selling his soul" by taking the job offer. He was a musician, first and fore most, after all.

I advised he grab the job. I did not believe there was any contradiction here. To be true to yourself, you first have to live; and making money in some area that's not your passion, will free your time to continue in it , and nurture it.

Also, life is long and unpredictable, and one doesn't know what opportunities may jump at you later, from an action you take today.

So I told him he had to survive, first, and he went for it.

You get a profession, then you get a career, and then there are jobs.

It is important to separate them in your mind, I think.

Also important not to judge yourself (or others) over-critically on what that job is, right now.

My maxim is - survive first, so that you can learn to flourish later.

(My friend is happy, 15 years later. He still travels the country handling equipment sales to mines and construction; he's an even better guitarist, who plays gigs on weekends with his band - when he chooses the right one, not because he's forced by financial pressure. Muso's here know how significant this is. Two jobs, one he thoroughly enjoys, the other his passion, and, cherry on top - he is an independent man.)

Sorry if I drifted off-topic here!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When choosing a career, it's good to challenge yourself and do what you love, that way you get more out of it. If someone wants to be a stripper it might be able to fulfill those ends. If it's being done as a job only, I don't see the problem with that.

I love this girl, and this is her passion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krdL38jPCkw...feature=related

:dough:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When choosing a career, it's good to challenge yourself and do what you love, that way you get more out of it. If someone wants to be a stripper it might be able to fulfill those ends. If it's being done as a job only, I don't see the problem with that.

I love this girl, and this is her passion:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krdL38jPCkw...feature=related

:dough:

Thing is my girlfriend will be giving guys lap dances...in addition to the stage stuff

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...