Don't do crime, don't pay taxes

[Leonid]

JOHANNESBURG. The police and other corruption-busting organisations have warned South Africans to stop paying tax, saying that citizens are knowingly becoming accessories to crime by funding a shady gang of confidence tricksters, fraudsters, embezzlers and petty thieves known throughout the criminal underworld as “the South African government”.

According to recent estimates, around R100-billion is stolen by corrupt public officials every year, thanks largely to a massive annual heist known to government criminals as “tax season”.

“As far as we can tell there’s a front operation, fairly legit, they’ve got offices and everything,” explained lead investigator Colombo Phiri.

“There’s a big blue sign over the door that says ‘SARS’, and every year during the ‘tax season’ heist they rake in about R350-billion of swag.”

He added that once the loot was safely in SARS’s vaults, the “Government Gang” usually stole between 25 and 30 percent of it, depending on the current price of BMWs, the amount of patronage they needed to buy from regional ANC Youth League commissars, and the number of political opponents they needed to assassinate in Limpopo and Mpumalanga.

Phiri conceded that up to R100-billion was also being stolen in the private sector every year, but said less fuss was made of this for one major reason.

“The main difference is that citizens are not required by law to hand over 30 percent of their earnings to patently corrupt companies,” he said. “It’s not like you go to jail if you refuse to shop at your friendly neighbourhood arms dealer.”

However, he said, the law was the law and taxpayers who willingly funded organised crime – or extremely disorganised organised crime, as in the Eastern Cape and Mpumalanga – could expect no mercy.

“When you fill in that tax return and write that cheque, you know that 30 percent of your money is going straight into the slush fund of some self-entitled mouth-breather with a Grade 9 education and a cousin in the Youth League,” he said.

“Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.”

He added that those who flouted the law by paying tax would be prosecuted, unless prosecutors accidentally shredded and then burnt their dockets after being bought off with tax revenue.

“Do the right thing. Stash your salary under your mattress and if you see anyone who works for the government, from a local councillor right up to cabinet ministers, do not approach them but rather go to a safe place, keeping your money well out of sight, and call the police immediately.”

Edited April 15, 2011 by Leonid

[goldstandard]

What is your source, please?

[Leonid]

What is your source, please?

Don't know. I just found it on facebook.

Edited April 16, 2011 by Leonid