Spare the rod; spoil the child?

[Trebor]

In 2004, Texas Judge William Adams (Rockport, Texas), a family court judge no less, (and his wife I assume) beat his daughter, Hillary, sixteen at the time, for downloading music (illegally) and playing video games (as I understand it). Hillary had set up a video camera in expectation of something about to happen. She only recently uploaded the video to YouTube.

According to a recent interview, the judge has said that it was a long time ago, it wasn't as bad as it looked on the video, and he has since apologized.

"In my mind, I haven't done anything wrong other than discipline my child after she was caught stealing," Adams said. "And I did lose my temper, but I've since apologized."

Police investigate Texas judge over video beating

Edited November 3, 2011 by Trebor

[EC]

There will be people who defend this sort of thing.

[Hairnet]

So if the guy really wanted to enforce the law (above protecting his own daughter), he would have like called the cops, or made her delete everything, or something like that. Not be a vigilante. The fact that he is a family court judge is just really sad (meaning he new better than to do this on so many levels).

[ToyoHabu]

I found this video on spanking is relevant to the judges statement "In my mind, I haven't done anything wrong other than discipline my child after she was caught stealing," Adams said. "And I did lose my temper, but I've since apologized."http://youtu.be/ONNRfflggBg

[Trebor]

"Texas judge's daughter says he 'dared' her to post beating video"

'Hillary Adams appeared on the "Today" show Thursday morning and said she held on to the video for years and chose this moment to reveal it because she'd finally had enough. Although she did not go into detail, she told host Matt Lauer that "the disputes and the harassment were escalating, and finally it was just the straw that broke the camel's back." She added: "I told him I had the video and he brushed it off. ... He didn't seem to think anything of it, and basically dared me to post it.

'She said she had set up the video camera on her dresser to capture the discipline that routinely occurred in the household. "It did happen regularly," she said. "I waited seven years because back then I was still a minor and living under his roof, and releasing it then, I don't know what would have happened to me, my mother, my little sister. So waiting until today, seven years later, has allowed me pull away and distance myself from the consequences."

'On the show, Hillary was accompanied by her mother, Hallie, who is also seen in the video striking the girl and telling her to "take it."

'The mother, who has since divorced William Adams, said she saw the video for the first time this weekend. She said she knows many people wonder how she could have participated, or stood by while her husband meted out the blows.

'"My answer to you and to the world is something that I've been hiding for a very long time, it's a family secret, and that's addiction," she said. Although she did not go into details, she said she is not the one with the addiction.

'She added, "I lived in an environment of dysfunction, and it steadily got worse." She said she tried to leave her husband when Hillary was just a baby but he "shamed" her into returning to the marriage. "I was completely brainwashed and controlled," she said, adding that her husband told her "what to say, what to do."

'Hillary Adams said she has forgiven her mother.'

Ah, the mother was but a victim of the father. Not responsible for her own participation, and forgiven. (You can hear the mother demand, in the video, that Hillary "bend over and take it like a woman." Makes one wonder just what women are expected to bend over and take.)

But the father, well he needs "help."

Dr. Hurd has some interesting and revealing things to say about this whole phenomena of wanting to "get help" for others in his recent daily dose posting: "Behavioral Change Is NOT the Same as Change of Mind"

Seems that what a lot of people want is some means of controlling "helping" others, especially those that they "love."

Edit: Good comments (Newburgh Mama blog) re the "take it like a woman" statement of the mother: "

Edited November 3, 2011 by Trebor

[Trebor]

There will be people who defend this sort of thing.

I just noticed a new comment for the article I just mentioned, "Texas judge's daughter says he 'dared' her to post beating video":

"My father used a belt, also. I think this is what he knew. I seriously doubt he considered it abuse. We all turned out well - responsible, hard-working, and never trouble with breaking the law. Certainly there are better ways to punish children, but child abuse - not really."

[EC]

This type of punishment is definitely on the fine line between the two. I know my own father used it on me when I was a child and it didn't end till I was about this girls age at the time and could defend myself. Me and him still aren't on good terms as a result and I'm 34 now. Also as a result I've never used physical punishment with my own son, always using stuff like time outs or just discussing misbehavior in a rational way with him and it has worked.

Even if this were okay age 16 is to old for this. My grandmother married my grandfather at 15 and even though this is not the norm nowadays the point is that around this age you have to start treating people as adults and not children. Adults can't legally beat other adults nor should they.

[Trebor]

This type of punishment is definitely on the fine line between the two.

This, that judge's (and wife's) action, was on the borderline between appropriate discipline and abuse?

[Trebor]

This video has certainly caused a stir.

Just noticed this comment ("Texas Judge Caught on Video Beating Daughter 'Needs Help'"):

"You Liberals attacking the judge's behavior are sooo funny. You people actually think it's okay to murder a baby before he or she is even born !!! But we're supposed to believe you actually care about this abused girl, or children at all ??

What a world!

[brianleepainter]

A few more comments :

"I agree with the judge to do in his power to straighten her up, I was beaten up because I was out of control, and I was thankful for that otherwise I will be end up in jail or dead. What she does is disrespectful to you father, you should honor your parents when all they try to do is for your own good, what we got now is children lack of discipline and spoiled brats thanks for the liberalism."

"That was so far from a beating, good grief people. My granddad used a razor strap, on my mother, and I got a belt & a switch used on me. I did not get very many because I did not like spankings. If the kids of today had gotten spankings like we all did they would not be wanting hand outs from tax paying people, and be causing the problems like today. They all need to be gathered up and sent to China or Russia. If they hate this place so bad why don't they just leave."

"I'm glad I got spankings as a child and they were far worse than that."

Edited November 3, 2011 by brianleepainter

[EC]

This, that judge's (and wife's) action, was on the borderline between appropriate discipline and abuse?

Morally no. Legally yes. I think it's morally wrong to beat a child of this age (or any age for that matter) but I also don't think it should be illegal for a parent to give a few "swats" to their child within limits, although it usually disgusts me and I would never do it. I don't know where the actual line should lie but I do know that those that get close to it or cross it are the ones that actually need the disciplining because it shows lack of respect of rights and usually deep-rooted mental problems.

[Trebor]

The judge (father) in the video has released a statement through his lawyer:

"Statement From Judge William Adams"

http://www.ksat.com/...473/detail.html

[Trebor]

'"I think the really powerful thing about this video is that, for a lot of people, this is child abuse, not corporal punishment, but the reality is that, under the statutory norms that exist in our society, this would not qualify as a crime or child abuse in any state in the country," says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire in Durham.'

"Texas judge beating video: brutal lashing or parental discipline?" http://www.csmonitor...ntal-discipline

[EC]

This is just the kind of animosity that this type of "soft" abuse creates between a parent and child, and why I think it is morally wrong. The "discipline" possibly ends up causing more harm to the future relationship than it does in correcting bad behavior in the present. By the way, it sounds like the father is trying to deflect attention away from himself and towards his daughter by using argument from authority in a case that because of the nature of the video speaks for itself.The motivation she had for releasing the video is irrelevant, and the release is probably a good thing since it show the actual character of the man who is supposed to be objectively applying the law.

Edited November 4, 2011 by EC

[Trebor]

I agree. Sad case, but I think it's good to have this out in the open being discussed.

[brianleepainter]

Hillary Adams discusses the release of the abuse tape along with her response to Judge William Adams' statement : Hillary Adams

Edited November 4, 2011 by brianleepainter