low_entropy Posted February 1, 2005 Report Share Posted February 1, 2005 Here's a cheesy one I thought up while reading Atlas Shrugged: Double Jeapordy round: "I'll take fictional characters for 600, Alex." "This hero of an Ayn Rand novel started a capitalist's haven" [contestant buzzes in] "Who is John Galt?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMERICONORMAN Posted February 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 Here's a cheesy one I thought up while reading Atlas Shrugged: Double Jeapordy round: "I'll take fictional characters for 600, Alex." "This hero of an Ayn Rand novel started a capitalist's haven" [contestant buzzes in] "Who is John Galt?" Okay: "I'll take Ayn Rand Heroes, for $1000." "He offerd Roark the opportunity to build his wife's house as he wished, then offered him financial luxury forever, so long as he ceased to build forever after that one." "Who is Guy Francon, Alex?" "No. I'm sorry." "Who is Gail Wynand" "Yes." "Where would you know like to go?" "I'll go with Romanticism for $1000." ---- Americo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMERICONORMAN Posted February 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 Here's a cheesy one I thought up while reading Atlas Shrugged: Double Jeapordy round: "I'll take fictional characters for 600, Alex." "This hero of an Ayn Rand novel started a capitalist's haven" [contestant buzzes in] "Who is John Galt?" I don't believe I didn't get this one right away. I went straight to mine, and then went back and reread it, before getting it. Isn't that funny? Americo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottkursk Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 Here's a cheesy one I thought up while reading Atlas Shrugged: Double Jeapordy round: "I'll take fictional characters for 600, Alex." "This hero of an Ayn Rand novel started a capitalist's haven" [contestant buzzes in] "Who is John Galt?" I was watching Jeapordy after work at a bar. We were blurting out answers and having a good chuckle with some of the answers. There was an actual question that went something like this: "Of the novel We The Living: It's as close as I can come to an autobiographical work." I blurted out "Who is John Galt?" instead of the correct answer. Someone down the mahagony ridge started laughing loudly. He got the error. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottkursk Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 My favorite bit of Objectivist humor is Objectivist Pick Up Lines. Full of inside jokes that unless you are familiar with Objectivism you won't get. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMERICONORMAN Posted February 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 My favorite bit of Objectivist humor is Objectivist Pick Up Lines. Full of inside jokes that unless you are familiar with Objectivism you won't get. I wonder whether Ayn Rand would laugh at those. But I needed to read those, thanks. I've been feeling sad these last few days. Americo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottkursk Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 But I needed to read those, thanks. I've been feeling sad these last few days. Americo. You're very welcome. I've got Isaac Asimov's (yes, the scifi guy) Treasury of Humor. The covers are long since gone since it's old and well read. He has a very good sense of humor in a non-offensive or attacking way. He tryed to analyze humor and why people find it funny. More importantly, he has a huge trove of positive jokes. I read it for a good pick-me-up or for something to start meetings with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deedlebee Posted February 2, 2005 Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 I liked the Jeopardy/Galt joke ;> This is a good question for the purpose of this topic. The Objectivist dramatist should spend his life writing serious exalting fiction. However, most students of Objectivism are in a transitional period. Since they are in a transitional period, then they are moving from malevolence to the appropriate benevolence. It is the malevolence that still exists in their psychologies that is the source of their reaction to the darker type of humor. For most there is this bitterness at the world, and laughter at the evil of the world is a way to stab at it. The ultimate goal is to rid oneself of this bitterness. It could be that I'm approaching all this from a different mind set, but is this an appropriate generalization? Do all people that tread the course of transition towards Objectivism feel that their lives are filled (even slightly) with bitterness? When I look back at my past, I see a life that could have been better if I was more aware of these values explicitly. Should I be bitter? I don't see how that is helpful to me in anyway. If events went wrong, I acknowledge that, change and move forward. The only harsh experience I've had so far as a direct result of trying to incorporate Objectivism into my life involved shame, which manifested and disappeared all within three days. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but, as a new student to this philosophy, am I missing out on some kind of crucial suffering? Am I in some kind of denial? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMERICONORMAN Posted February 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2005 I liked the Jeopardy/Galt joke ;> It could be that I'm approaching all this from a different mind set, but is this an appropriate generalization? Do all people that tread the course of transition towards Objectivism feel that their lives are filled (even slightly) with bitterness? When I look back at my past, I see a life that could have been better if I was more aware of these values explicitly. Should I be bitter? I don't see how that is helpful to me in anyway. If events went wrong, I acknowledge that, change and move forward. The only harsh experience I've had so far as a direct result of trying to incorporate Objectivism into my life involved shame, which manifested and disappeared all within three days. I hope this doesn't sound rude, but, as a new student to this philosophy, am I missing out on some kind of crucial suffering? Am I in some kind of denial? I woudn't say all. If you don't have this "bitterness" then all the best for you. You're beginning your journey with a happy sense of life. I for one, began with Objectivism with a part of me that found joy in being "Byronic". I actually read Atlas Shrugged the first time while listening to the soundtrack to Surviving Picasso. And even today I like to listen to Spanish love songs of lamentation. I know that one day I will have to get rid of this. This is MY journey and others share this darkness while they are adventuring towards "the light". (I must say, though that I had then and do now a capacity for great ecstatic joy). This is off topic but it is funny: Have you ever heard merengue, the spanish dance music? The music is so happy and the dancing is so joyous but often the lyrics are depressing and yet the singers have wide smiles on their faces. So that the dancers dance while moving their hips from side to side, enjoying the experience with their partner all to lyrics like: "I lost my wife, she lives no more" or "I caught my wife in bed with my brother" "We were together for so long and then suddenly she got sick of me" "Although, I love you, I've fallen in love with someone else" "Oh my dying mother how I'm going to miss you." I find this phenomenon amusing. Americo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deedlebee Posted February 3, 2005 Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 Have you ever heard merengue, the spanish dance music? The music is so happy and the dancing is so joyous but often the lyrics are depressing and yet the singers have wide smiles on their faces. So that the dancers dance while moving their hips from side to side, enjoying the experience with their partner all to lyrics like: "I lost my wife, she lives no more" ... I have ;> And the way you describe it almost seems like it would fit perfectly into a Monty Python script I remember one particularly funny old SNL skit (though it might have had Chris Farely (sp?) who I generally dislike) where three or four people were in the kitchen eating breakfast. One of the guys takes a swig of milk straight from the carton then revulses and exclaims, "uhg! This milk is sour! Hey Billy (I don't remember the exact names/quote), taste this." So Billy takes a swig of the milk and repeats the exact same response. The first guy then sits down on a chair but quickly jumps up with a yelp and exclaims that there's a loose nail. "Hey Billy, sit on that!" So Billy sits on it, while still holding the milk. Eventually it builds up to where there are four or so things that are bad, broken or hurtful, and they all just continue to do the same thing over and over again, exclaiming to the other to try it. The skit went on too long, but the point was really funny. It reminded me of a time way back in middle school when once a light flickered and more than half the class looked up at it, and a few commented that indeed, it was flickering. Someone had the sense to say, "Like looking up at it will really do anything." I see people act like this all the time. It's almost amazing to me how many useless things people will focus their attention on when given an audience. Likewise a person will find something really horrible and immediately want to share it, but don't realize his behaviour is something he wouldn't want to repeat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMERICONORMAN Posted February 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 3, 2005 deedlebee: Have you ever read Ayn Rand's article ART AND MORAL TREASON? It can be found in the March 1965 issue of The Objectivist Newsletter or in the Romantic Manifesto. It deals with the malevolence that sometimes plagues a potential moral hero. Americo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMERICONORMAN Posted March 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2005 (edited) I noticed that my joke about marriage was removed. I must say that the point of that joke was that one will love one's spouse regardless of whether she flatulates, i.e., there are bigger values. One would be laughing, in the joke, at someone who would leave their spouse for such an act. In The Fountainhead, Dominique first has sex with Roark while he is dirty from a day of toil. The joke is against those who do not know that passion. For example, I remember my first and greatest love: I remember walking away from him in the earliest years because his breath smelled like milk. Later when I fell in love, I would have "tolerated" even more. But if the person who made the decision to remove that joke took offense, then take it off... I guess. But that is the meaning of the joke. Perhaps I didn't communicate that thoroughly. In Good Will Hunting, when Robin Williams relates how is wife woke herself up once, I took in that spirit. It was a tribute to love. Americo (The misunderstood). Edited March 6, 2005 by AMERICONORMAN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iakeo Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 Objectivist joke: An Objectivist standup comedian stading at a mic before an objectivist audience: "Scripture..." <uproarious laughter for a full 12 minutes> -Iakeo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 You know, that's a bit of an inside joke without the context... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EC Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 I heard this one recently and thought it was kind of funny: A chicken and an egg are in bed with each other late one night. The chicken takes a long drag on his cigarette and turns to the egg and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered that question." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Roark Posted March 12, 2005 Report Share Posted March 12, 2005 I just got done reading the Objectivist pick up lines. Hillareous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iakeo Posted March 13, 2005 Report Share Posted March 13, 2005 OK,.. how about this one: "Who is Gohn Jalt..?!" -Iakeo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWDS Posted March 13, 2005 Report Share Posted March 13, 2005 I am. I just don't get out much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangesiscool Posted March 14, 2006 Report Share Posted March 14, 2006 Since I've been an objectivist, I've had to get a digital watch, why? I'm not a second hander. (I can't remember whether I made this up or I got it from somewhere else) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myself Posted March 14, 2006 Report Share Posted March 14, 2006 This one has been floating around for awhile but just in case you haven't already read it Ayn Rand's A Selfish Christmas (1951) . Scroll down a bit on the page to get to it. I suppose it's possible for some Objectivists to be offended by this, but I thought it was hilarious when I first read it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jingles Posted March 14, 2006 Report Share Posted March 14, 2006 The manager of a beer store asks, "where's Pablo, I bet he's in the bathroom again!" about an employee who manages to sneek to the bathroom several times during his shift. Moments later Pablo comes strutting swiftly back to his post. The manager asks reproachfully, "So where have you been?" "Nature called," replied Pablo with a smile. "But this is the fifth time today!" rebuked the manager. "Sir, nature to be commanded must be obeyed," responded Pablo respectfully. "Well, how come nature doesn't call myself or the rest of us so much?" Pablo answered, with his hand to his mouth as if revealing a secret, and winking at the last instant, "Nature has a thing for me." Toilet humor has no place here, what do you think this is, Taggart Incontinental? Sorry... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangesiscool Posted March 16, 2006 Report Share Posted March 16, 2006 Toilet humor has no place here, what do you think this is, Taggart Incontinental? Sorry... Dear moderators, Would it be impossible to pass a test in order to be allowed to try to be funny? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesDL Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 My favorite jokes are "dumb"jokes. It's more about delivery... ie: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam. What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?" What's new? Pi over Lambda. (Physics humor - hilarious to nerds ) Also very funny: children. Check out this link, where it says "kid's ideas about science": http://www.utc.edu/Academic/PhysicsGeology...shum3.html#misc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatdogs12 Posted May 3, 2006 Report Share Posted May 3, 2006 [Lisa walks in] Homer: In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics! I remember when I saw that episode, it is just funny on so many levels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D'kian Posted May 8, 2006 Report Share Posted May 8, 2006 I thougt one up. It's not very funny: Q: Why did the socialist programmer refuse a job offer from Microsoft? A: He dind't want to get paid with monopoly money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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