Conversational rules

[LoBagola]

How does one determine what is necessary and what is not necessary to discuss during conversation? I moderate my words and how much I reveal by social instinct at the moment but it would be nice to get some deeper theoretical understanding, if that's even possible. I'm hoping I can guide myself to better, more enjoyable and productive conversations.

I started recently mostly putting my heart on the line (barring unnecessary details) to let people either hate me or love. Saves me, and them time. I don't mean I just go up to a random person and blurt out details about my value and life. I fit it into the natural flow of conversation as much as I can and gauge reactions. I don't want people in my life who think I'm weird for wanting/thinking about growing as a person.

If I was in a work/corporate job type atmosphere I might never discuss what I've discussed here or in my other posts. This is instinct - but I think it's because it's irrelevant to the context. We are there to work together on something - not discuss politics, philosophy or life values. Sometimes some banter/chatter is okay - like sports - to make us connect a little more. However, with my friends I want them to know. I don't want to hide the fact I think and introspect alot about philosophy / self-development. If they think I'm weird or silly for thinking about these things - I almost never want them in my life or around me. Only a few weeks ago I used to have many people like this in my life and I've finally decided to leave them.

Edited January 31, 2013 by LoBagola

[dream_weaver]

Steven Covey suggests "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood",

Dale Carnagie emphasizes this in his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People".

Reader's Digest offers what it deemed fit to print: "12 Golden Rules of Conversation"

The ARI estore offers "Objective Communication" for under $10, if you're interested specifically in developing substance over style in your communication.