Personal crisis and thoughts

[thinker]

thoughts.doc

[softwareNerd]

thoughts.doc

Notice: 48 people viewed your post, but only 7 downloaded your document. If you want to encourage members to read something on a forum, you need to post rather than link. It is just how it works. Your doc was short enough (about a page). So, it could be posted in entirety.

Many of the things you mention are a very common part of adolescence. I understand that it will always feel unique to each individual, but every baby weans a little differently too. However, instead of responding to that, I wanted to ask: What would you like to do with yourself in an ideal world? If you're like almost every other 17 years old, you will answer that you do not really know. Super-normal.

So, to re-frame: what interests you?

Edited February 28, 2013 by softwareNerd

[thinker]

Thank you for answering.

 

Notice: 48 people viewed your post, but only 7 downloaded your document. If you want to encourage members to read something on a forum, you need to post rather than link. It is just how it works. Your doc was short enough (about a page). So, it could be posted in entirety 

That's right, I felt more "comfortable" with "hiding" it, so I didn't gave it much thought.

 

 So, to re-frame: what interests you?

I don't exactly know what to answer. I "feel" that I have several interests, but I'm just not aware of them. Or that I haven't discovered my "approach", "creativity", "purpose" or "passion". "Academically" I guess maybe philosophy, economics and linguistics (grammar never interested me, though), but certainly more. I don't have any particular hobbies. I've thought about what I think my strength is, but it's difficult to explain. This was the best I could come up with: "Artistic intuition" toward determining creations/designs. How would you describe your strength? Maybe I have some good/important/relevant things to say about myself, but I don't know what to introspect about.

Edited March 1, 2013 by thinker

[aleph_1]

Whatever you do, a girlfriend is probably not the answer. It sounds to me that you have self-esteem issues and the class-a number one way of faking self-esteem is through sex. Many people seek validation through a relationship, but they have things backwards. The relationship does not give you virtue. Go ahead and find a girl if that is what you want, but don't expect that to substitute for virtue. instead, find something productive to do with your time. If school is not for you, then find work. After that, celebrate your virtue in the way you see fit.

[thinker]

So what do you think I should do with my self-esteem?

Edited March 1, 2013 by thinker

[Hairnet]

   I have gone through most of that stuff. Honestly I could have written that when I was sixteen or seventeen. 

 

   Misanthropy is bad for you. I have learned with proper boundaries and empathy skills, you can be on good terms with just about all your peer group. You should not be everybody's friend, but you can have meaningful interactions with most people as long as you keep a healthy distance and you genuinely want to learn about the experiences of others.  

 

   You criticize people for going to clubs and drinking, but have you ever wondered why they make that such a big part of their life? Have you ever talked to anyone about these things and attempted to learn what it is that makes these things worth while to them? The variety of perspectives and ideas you might find in people you thought were shallow might surprise you. All I am asking is that you give people the benefit of the doubt. 

 

    I would suggest completing high school, and getting into college. I used some of my student loan money to get Rosetta Stone for Spanish, and it is about a hundred times better than any Spanish teacher I had in high school. If you like Italian, you can pursue a degree in international relations or international business . 

[mdegges]

"I have this ”view” of the world often, that gives me a kind of bad feeling. Its

like I feel its a kind of ”anti-exotic” place. A place with dark and cold
weather with superficial people with wrong ideals, where romantic things aren't
valued, where people are concerned with materialistic and superficial things
and go to clubs and drinking."

 

Sounds like you are stuck in the malevolent universe bubble.

There is a really good thread about that on here, I'll try to find it.

 

Edit: Ok, yes- here it is. Hope you're familiar with The Fountainhead:

 

Is Dominique Irrational?

 

Q (Ferris): "Dominique mentions to Alvah Scarret that she destroyed a very beautiful statue she loved. She did that so that no one else would ever see it. If she valued the statue, why did she destroyed it? ? She had bought the statue, so why didn`t she hide it in a room in her house, making her the only person able to see and apreciate it?"

 

A (Grames): "Dominique is in fact wrong and irrational in her philosophic premises which lead her to destroy the statue. It is the lesson she has to learn and the character arc she follows in the story to come to understand this. She has what Rand calls the malevolent universe premise, which is not merely that that there are such people as "second-handers" but also that they "run the show", the universe belongs to them by nature and it is futile to fight them head-on. For Dominique destroying an inspiring statue is an act of rebellion against an inherently evil existence. Dominique must learn of her error from Roark."

 

A (2046): "Dominique's flaw was that she held a malevolent view of the universe in that she saw evil as active, efficacious, and omnipotent in the world and the good as passive, weak, and impotent to succeed in the world. Evil is powerful, good is powerless, basically. She destroyed the statue because she thought it was too good for the scum that inhabited the world, they were not worthy to share existence with such a vision of man. A vision of man and the universe it represented, which didn't exist to her. Therefore, she wants to destroy her values because she doesn't want to get her hopes up, so to speak, and have them dashed when she finds out they don't exist. Instead, she tells herself they don't exist and she won't achieve any values so that she won't have to suffer the pain of losing them. As far as if this is irrationality, in the wider sense, it is because it is a kind of philosophical pessimism that isn't warranted under a rational morality. In a rational morality, it is the evil that is impotent because the entire point of morality is that it is a tool of survival and flourishing life for man. But her error is not an immorality on her part, but an honest error of knowledge (there being a difference between the two.) Dominique is an independent thinker, and so she retains the means to correct herself, and does so when she sees the forces of evil failing at life and Roark winning at life."

Edited March 1, 2013 by mdegges

[whYNOT]

A few things: Since self-esteem is basically a combination of a sense of worthiness to life (subconsciously held) and a sense of 'efficacy' - effectiveness in living (partly conscious, I believe)- I'm not sure that as yet self-esteem is your problem. Though it could be later. I usually at this stage recommend studying closely Nathaniel Branden's books, or at least one or two. (E.g. 'Honoring the Self'.)

Being "worthy" is a fundamental premise, related to the malevolent/benevolent universe principle, I think. One wants to sense that 'the universe' is worthy of living in, too - after all.

For myself, it took years of consideration to change from a fairly bleak view when younger, to one of a 'neutral' universe: as in, the universe isn't for you, or against you, it doesn't even care if you exist -

it just IS. There's much satisfaction in this obvious fact. Add on the evident, of the universe's ability to sustain our lives - with man's reason - and its incredible variety to constantly appreciate, and you know what? we're fortunate to be alive.

For people, others, who are an integral part of life, I believe I see some perceptive insights in your account. Were we all so sensitively attuned when in our teens? From previous comments it might not be so rare. (To keep the perceptivity, with less unbearable sensitivity, isn't that the answer?) Thing is you're right. There is no shortage of hypocrisy, shallowness, irrationality and self-abnegation around us. I think more today then ever, but that's a slightly subjective opinion.

Point is - what's there you can do about them - and what should you do about it? Nothing, other people are out of one's control. I really strongly advise always being quick to think, slower to judge, and very slow to condemn. )And to break the natural inclination of making comparisons to oneself.) They may not know it explicitly, but everyone else is "an end in himself" as you are. Pay close attention ~ live consciously ~ and you should find yourself getting in the habit of treating each person rightly and properly as an individual (as you yourself are) who have sometimes surprising attributes and thoughts. But of course keep your distance from any whom you can find no shared values with, those who will not think, as they'll drain you.

The rest, interests, unique talents, career and romance will follow, and become known to you.

If you do indeed have ADD, you have my sympathy! but once recognised and understood it is not so bad, and even has some up-sides, I think you'll find.

All the best.

Edited March 2, 2013 by whYNOT

[bert]

Did you feel this way prior to your introduction to Ayn Rand? If you've recently read her books, would you say some of the things you wrote about, especially your "view" has been influenced by them? Rand's fiction is extremely stylized showing the very bad and the very good. This can be helpful as one can grasp ideas more clearly. However, look closely at the things you are criticizing making sure you are not just seeing the world through a falsely stylized lens. Your view is a negative over generalization ignoring the various counter examples which show this is not a malevolent universe as you seem to believe. It seems like you have some interests of sorts - focus on those and whatever else is the good in your life.

[whYNOT]

bert, Fair comment. "Extremely stylized" is correct, partially - Rand would also say she meant every word of her fiction. People as they are, can be, and should be. There is the danger of taking her Romantic-realist novels literally, rather than representations of her ideal men and women. That can become rationalistic. "Layering" such ideals over one's own life, detached from your existence, and so reality.

Working it through for one's self, is definitely harder - but rewarding.

Which goes for the "malevolent universe", too. I think a good number of people who take to Objectivism

do not have the benefit of a benevolent universe premise to start with. Too much is dependent on

previous authority figures, wrongful assumptions and poor epistemology, and simply, personality type. IOW, not completely of your own making, somewhat sub-consciously held.

I think the greatest harm is in forcing oneself to take on the BUP, rationalistically again:

faking it. You can't just flip a switch from one to the other.

It does require focused extraspection and introspection, often involving moving (over

time) from primacy of consciousness to primacy of existence; reconsidering the metaphysical nature

of man and reality; and through observation, induction and deduction building concepts up for

yourself. At every point, putting it into practice and seeing it work for you.

At least we know the principles to aim for, which makes it easier, but they must be made

one's own.

Not anyone here, but I think the malevolent universe principle is thrown around a little

carelessly - with a little implication of immorality in it - with few suggestions on how to go about

changing it genuinely, as it can be.

[Leonid]

thoughts.doc

Dear thinker! Stop worry. You are undergoing very normal process which each and every perfectly normal teenager has to go through. Nothing is wrong with you and with your self-esteem, otherwise you wouldn't expose yourself in public like that. You are growing, you body is changing and your hormones work overtime. That's will soon over and your impeccable mind will take over again. You are smart and honest and that what counts. 

Edited March 5, 2013 by Leonid