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I discovered that the girl I had a perfect date has BOYFRIEND!

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Kart
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Guys Here is my history,

 

I meet this girl 2 months ago.I asked her to go out with me 3 times and she did not want to for different reasons, I didnt talk to her for two weeks and suddenly this weekend she called me, saying she wanted to go out with me .... then accepted the invitation, I went to dinner with her, then went to club and then we had sex, I was two days without talking to her, and I discovered that she has a boyfriend!! I liked her a lot, but do not know how to act ... pretend that nothing's going on and  go over it? Give up? I say her I know she has a boyfriend?

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and I discovered that she has a boyfriend!!

 

And? Do you know if she and he have a monogamous relationship or not?

 

Why do you know so little about this girl before you slept with her? Do you have a policy that you only have sex with people who don't have any other kind of sexual/romantic relationship? Did you bother to inform her of this before having sex?

 

I'm not trying to criticize you (yet :P). Take my questions as they are; I'm trying to figure out the larger context of this.

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Let me address a couple of points of your post about where I think you've gone wrong. I still don't know the full context, so my comments/advice might change if I knew more.

 

I meet this girl 2 months ago.I asked her to go out with me 3 times

 

To go out? I know you are referring to the traditional Western model of courtship. But I reject that model, for various reasons. When I ask people to "go out" (whether it's a girl I'm sexually attracted to, or girls or guys I'm not attracted to sexually), it's the same -- I ask them to go do fun things with me. Social things. If it's just me and a girl I find attractive, it might look like a date on the exterior, but in reality I'm not following the traditional "date" model. I am just out doing something fun, and she is tagging along. This is a minor point regarding your post, but important to say on the outset.

 

she did not want to for different reasons, I didnt talk to her for two weeks

 

Why didn't you talk to her for two weeks? Aren't you friends with her? Just because she didn't want to "go out" with you, then you aren't going to talk to her or be friends with her? These questions relate to the point I was implying above: You ought to focus on actually being friends with people. Whether they are romantically or sexually attracted to you or not shouldn't change your friendship, if they are an awesome friend. Sounds like you were trying to have a "date" with someone who isn't actually your friend, and is a bit of a stranger to you. And if you didn't get what you wanted, you weren't interested in pretending to be friends with her.

 

and suddenly this weekend she called me, saying she wanted to go out with me

 

Given what you've said so far, my instinct tells me that she had some issue with her boyfriend, or some other reason (maybe she was just extra horny?) that made her think, "Hey, I know I've got one guy who is down. Since (X) happened (where X could be, my boyfriend cheated on me, or my boyfriend was being a jerk, or whatever), I'm going to go out and show him and sleep with Kart."

 

I don't know, but that's my instinct. If she called you out of the blue.

 

 I went to dinner with her, then went to club and then we had sex

Sounds like fun. Although like I said, I generally like to know something about the people I have sex with, and they have to have certain values before I have sex with them (which required that I know something about them and about their lives).

Edited by secondhander
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