Sexual roleplay with strangers online

[Tamaus]

So as of late, I've been getting involved in sexual roleplays online in twitter, where each person, usually avoiding any personal information like name, face, etc, plays a fictional character and create a erotic narrative. And I've been wondering: is this inmoral? Am I evading reality in any way doing this? The reason I'm doing it is because it allows me to explore certain fantasies without having to go and try causal sex which I'm completely against. I also know that is merely fantasies, I am not commending the fantasies I'm participating in, I know the difference between a fantasy and actually having intercourse. Also, I'm single and currently unable to find a partner, but I still want some form of variety in my masturbation. However, actually doing this sort of activity has felt weird since I started, since one thing is being alone in my room with images and such (I cut pornography, but I still use literotica and erotic drawings) and chatting with someone over kinks. Again, I've always made sure to keep these sessions purely fantasy, never agreeing to show any personal information neither asking for nudes from anyone, merely interested in roleplaying the fictional characters. What do you guys think? Is this a healthy aid to masturbation or am I doing some form of evasion? It's been eating me for a while now and I'm constantly thinking about it

[MisterSwig]

1. Why are you against casual sex?

2. Do you have trouble talking to people you find sexually desirable?

3. Are you interested in dating anyone you know?

I wouldn't recommend habituating yourself to anonymous roleplay porn on Twitter. It sounds like it's too far removed conceptually from real sex that it might cause psychological issues. Look at pictures or videos of real people that you find visually attractive.

Edited July 19, 2020 by MisterSwig

[Tamaus]

17 hours ago, MisterSwig said:

1. Why are you against casual sex?

2. Do you have trouble talking to people you find sexually desirable?

3. Are you interested in dating anyone you know?

I wouldn't recommend habituating yourself to anonymous roleplay porn on Twitter. It sounds like it's too far removed conceptually from real sex that it might cause psychological issues. Look at pictures or videos of real people that you find visually attractive.

1. Because if I feel the need to relieve myself sexually I prefer masturbation, since revealing myself to a stranger (as in physically doing it) feels like I'm exposing something too private to someone else and would just left me feeling bad about myself aftwerwards.

2. I don't have troubles speaking to people who I find sexually attractive, just a lot of the time that attraction ends when speaking to a lot of them, so it feels extremely shallow a lot of the time.

3. I don't know anyone at the moment who would interest me enough to consider dating.

Well, I guess that could be an issue if I were trying to replace actual sex with those. What sort of psychological issues do think can arise from that? I don't like watching porn or nudes from real people, since I don't like pornography, as in, actual people performing sexual acts on video or photos. I condemn anyone doing such a thing because it's a violation of their integrity, and sex is more intimate than that on my view, so it would be a bit hypocritical to watch that while also condeming the people who do it. 

[Eiuol]

On the face of it, I don't see what could be wrong with role-playing fantasies. Nothing you said sounds very concerning. The only thing that sounds off is that you seem very intent on removing any possible personal connection and making the whole thing transactional. That would be the same for nonsexual role-playing. Are you open to being friends with these people outside of your role-playing? In other words, are you thinking of your role-play partners as people, and this as a common interest? If you were to depersonalize everything, over time, you might develop unhealthy habits or behaviors.

But if you think of it as a type of conversation, where sometimes you might make a friend, other times not, I don't see any cause for concern. And hey, if you really connect with someone, you might even start a relationship with them. I don't think Twitter would be very conducive to that though.

[Tamaus]

10 minutes ago, Eiuol said:

On the face of it, I don't see what could be wrong with role-playing fantasies. Nothing you said sounds very concerning. The only thing that sounds off is that you seem very intent on removing any possible personal connection and making the whole thing transactional. That would be the same for nonsexual role-playing. Are you open to being friends with these people outside of your role-playing? In other words, are you thinking of your role-play partners as people, and this as a common interest? If you were to depersonalize everything, over time, you might develop unhealthy habits or behaviors.

But if you think of it as a type of conversation, where sometimes you might make a friend, other times not, I don't see any cause for concern. And hey, if you really connect with someone, you might even start a relationship with them. I don't think Twitter would be very conducive to that though.

I've mostly been doing it to indulge into fantasies I've had but find hard to satisfy with other things like erotic literature or such, and the place I heard about it was Twitter first, so I've been doing it there. I didn't think of that honestly, depersonalising it. I've tried to keep it mostly limited to those role-playing fantasies, and not much more. Would come, have a chat with someone and then leave without much more interaction. There's only one person so far who I would consider in a loose term a friend, but even then is mostly acquaintence. I guess depending on who I meet I am open to something more, but haven't really tried it. I have another objectivist friend who told me that he would consider this inmoral, saying I'm trying to replace a real life need, having a partner with a virtual fantasy and sometimes I wonder if I am really doing that, so I try to remind myself when I chat that I'm trying to just indulge into a fantasy. Not sure if it's having the opposite effect

[MisterSwig]

12 hours ago, Tamaus said:

I don't have troubles speaking to people who I find sexually attractive, just a lot of the time that attraction ends when speaking to a lot of them, so it feels extremely shallow a lot of the time.

So, what happens with the ones that meet your standards for conversation? Do you date them and have sex?

12 hours ago, Tamaus said:

What sort of psychological issues do think can arise from that? I don't like watching porn or nudes from real people, since I don't like pornography, as in, actual people performing sexual acts on video or photos.

If you're just relieving your sexual tension, it should be easy to accomplish the task with a simple picture of an attractive nude, or a video of someone masturbating or teasing. You can avoid hardcore sex videos. There is literally anything you could want or need online now, including fully dressed actors roleplaying fantasies on camera, so you get the visual and the audio.

Here's the issue with the Twitter thing. You're taking it a step too far, in my opinion. You're relying on a live interaction with the other roleplayer, whereas with a picture or video there is the separation of the recording. You know it's not a real relationship. You're merely relieving yourself. It's masturbation, not a sexual relationship. However, with Twitter it's a sexual relationship with a stranger. It's like phone sex with a stranger, but without the audio. So the concern is that you are associating sexual relations with tweeting a stranger.

I don't think you're doing it merely to relieve yourself. Your friend is probably correct that it's replacing sex for you.

I suggest ending the Twitter roleplaying. Wait until you're so horny that you can masturbate while merely thinking of someone you like, and then we can work on your issues with finding a real partner.

[Eiuol]

15 hours ago, Tamaus said:

I have another objectivist friend who told me that he would consider this inmoral, saying I'm trying to replace a real life need, having a partner with a virtual fantasy and sometimes I wonder if I am really doing that,

Unless you are lying to us about what you really think about sexual role-playing or don't want to admit what you really think, it doesn't sound like you're trying to "replace" anything. You very clearly think it is different than sex, and the way you talk about it sounds like exploring sexual interests. Just like any other kind of role-playing. I don't see a reason to say that adding sexual pleasure somehow changes things. What would be wrong is rationalizing why you do it ("I'm doing this because no one finds me sexually attractive, so of course I do this", "the only things I like sexually are completely made up, so this is the only sex I can have that I enjoy"). Those examples are an attempt to replace sex with role-playing. 

3 hours ago, MisterSwig said:

So the concern is that you are associating sexual relations with tweeting a stranger.

This would just be an associated memory. What matters is what someone thinks about the association they make.