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Moral responsibility of enabler parents

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happiness
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My brother is a🤢 🤮 person.

He turned out this way because my father is a massive enabler. Despite being a very intelligent man, he is too irrational to even grasp the concept of enabling. He believes that he cannot kick my brother out of the house, or cut him off financially, and that there is some invisible hand of the universe putting a gun to his head, forcing him to act for my brother’s sake.

It has DESTROYED my brother’s life.

I am grateful to him for things he has done for me, and maintain a friendly, but aloof relationship with him. I have accepted that he will never change, he is too old and his mind is too irrational, and he will enable until he dies. I stay out of the way of the situation as much as possible, but when I see what has become of my brother, and am exposed to his lifestyle, I feel borderline total disgust for my father for what he has done, and what he continues to do.

If I hate my brother, should I also hate my father, who enabled him into oblivion? Is he any less evil? 

 

 

Edited by happiness
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The experience of your own reaction is your payment for your understanding or misunderstanding of the world.  Rationality/Justice counsel proportionality, not only for those others whom your sentiments are about, but for your own "experience" of other people, which you put yourself through.

Hatred is the most vile and extreme sort of emotion which takes a toll on the experiencer which has to be paid for by the benefits of the extreme action it urges one toward... be it elimination of a mortal enemy, or complete disassociation with a thoroughly toxic and irredeemable person in whom no value whatsoever may be found... but make no mistake it does not leave one unscathed, whether any action, appropriate or not, is taken in response.

Upon reflection, you may find disappointment, sadness, regret, lowering of esteem are more rational for you to subject yourself to as an experience and more Just and proportional a response to others.

Be rational in your assessment of the whole person, be it your brother or your father.

 

Also, final responsibility for an adult person of sufficient intelligence lies with that person alone... fault the father a lack of fatherhood as a factor but you cannot negate the son's final responsibility in making his own soul.

Edited by StrictlyLogical
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