monart Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 (edited) Romantic Love vs Selfless Love [In tribute to Ayn Rand and her 4R's: Reality, Reason, Rights, Romance] ----- “To say ‘I love you’, one must know first how to say the ‘I.’” -Ayn Rand, The Fountainhead. Romantic love is self-worthy love. Selfless love is (self)worth-less love. To love with romance is to regard someone as a value and a pleasure, worthy of having in and for one’s life. Romantic love is worthy love. In contrast, to love someone without regard to the value or worth to oneself, is to love without cause or reason. Selfless love is worthless love. In reality and by the nature of human life, to love is to value, to treat and respect an existent – a person, an idea, a condition, a place, an activity, an event – as a value and a source of pleasure to oneself. Love is self-based, self-sourced, and self-motivated. Love is selfish. Selfish love is real, true love – love by reason, by rights, and for romance. Selfless love is self-contradictory and invalidated by real facts. Selfless love is self-denial, self-abnegation, self-abasement, self-sacrifice – not good for self and against human life. Selfless love is unreal, false, and painful love (by intention and as consequence). Selfless love is love without reason or rights and not for romance. Selfless love, to the extent it’s believed and practiced, leads not to a successful, happy life, but to suffering and death (or a living death), and, along the way, is ridden by guilt, shame, hatred, and fear. Yet, selfless love is extolled by altruists as the highest moral imperative, as love for the alter, as other-ly love. Knowing that selfless love is irrational and cannot be practiced consistently (without dying), altruists blame, not their ethics, but humanity for being morally flawed, imperfect, selfish and evil; and so needs to be ruled by faith and force. Altruism, under cover of being an ethics of benevolence and compassion, actually induces fear, doubt, and guilt. Guilt and shame, from not being able to practice an irrational and impractical ethics, weakens the will and makes the will more malleable and submissive to collectivist/statist tyranny. The dominant moralities of altruism (other-ism) – Christian, Judaic, Hindu, Islamic, Buddhist, Confucian, Taoist, Environmentalist – praise selfless love as the moral, categorical imperative (a la Kant): that one should love another, not because of the value to oneself, but because it’s not of any value - because it is of other than value for oneself. So altruistic parents should love their children, not for reason of their chosen, desired value, but merely as a duty, without inclination, derived pleasure, or any self-interest. Moreover, parents, for ideal selfless love, should love other children above and instead of, their own children. Selfless love is called agape – based on unconditional, indiscriminate, promiscuous, dutiful, altruistic love. Selfish love is called eros – based on conditions of one’s evaluation and discrimination of worth, pleasure, and desire. Altruist love, agape, is actually love for those of little or no value to you, to love them over those of higher, personal value. The higher the value you sacrifice to those you don’t value, the higher the moral worth. Of even greater moral worth is to love those who are dis-values to you, those you despise, loathe, and are repulsed by – precisely because of that contempt you have for them. In contrast, romantic love, eros, is founded on mutual admiration and self-esteem. It is love made by the choice and desire of oneself, for real reasons, to achieve one’s purpose: happiness and joy. Romantic love is rational, rightful love for the value and pleasure, the exaltation and ecstasy of oneself – for no other reason. It's the only true, romantic love: there's, really, no “other” true love. Romantic love in harmony with self has beauty. Selfless love without harmony with self is ugly. --- Image of "Tenderly" by Bill Mack Edited March 16 by monart Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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