Workplace Enthusiasm

[Saraswathi]

Hi,

I am a student in a lab where one is expected to give periodic work presentations.Now there are 2 people in the lab who engage in a lot of unreasonable criticism behind people's backs and some who silently support such behaviour by listening.One of them has a gender problem,in that he cannot accept women doing well.So no matter how a female student is,he makes it a point to criticize her on her back and leaves no oppurtunity to make fun of her achievments and find faults.The other has a very negative view of all achievements.During work I do not let their views influence me,but it has happened twice that during presentations,especially when my work has not been upto the standards I set,even though they may be sufficient for the talk,I tend to get influenced by how the critisizers may view my work and it affects me for at that time.They also make bored,annoyed faces as if they have been forced to sit in the talk.Their expressions demoralize me and I have underperformed in my presentations and am fearful that this might happen again.Any suggestions on how I might shield myself?

[softwareNerd]

A few questions:

... are you the only lady in the group? If not, do they do this with all the ladies?

... where is your boss in all this?

... are these obnoxious guys good at their work?

... do they behave like this with some of the men too?

[Felix]

Focus on the fact that it's them whose life and work suck.

Not yours. You are fine.

Unless these people are complete assholes, you may try this one:

If their criticism is not valid, object them. If it is valid, tell them to do it openly. Teach them how to use their destructive world view for a useful purpose.

[studentofobjectivism]

I have one question: Why are you concerned with what they think?

[Saraswathi]

A few questions:

... are you the only lady in the group? If not, do they do this with all the ladies?

... where is your boss in all this?

... are these obnoxious guys good at their work?

... do they behave like this with some of the men too?

I am one of 3 ladies.Yes they do behave similarly with all ladies and the guys who are not friends with them.But nobody else seems to worry about it.My boss doesn't interfere and these guys are average at work.

[scottkursk]

Hi,

I am a student in a lab where one is expected to give periodic work presentations.Now there are 2 people in the lab who engage in a lot of unreasonable criticism behind people's backs and some who silently support such behaviour by listening.One of them has a gender problem,in that he cannot accept women doing well.So no matter how a female student is,he makes it a point to criticize her on her back and leaves no oppurtunity to make fun of her achievments and find faults.The other has a very negative view of all achievements.During work I do not let their views influence me,

People that tend to criticize others constantly at work or school, if the criticism isn't deserved, will eventually cause themselves to be not taken seriously by anyone. The problem is, it can and will take time for their negativity to sometimes make itself evident. It's like having a friend that always take the pessimistic view on everything. At first, you tolerate it but eventually you tire of it and just begin ignoring them.

but it has happened twice that during presentations,especially when my work has not been upto the standards I set,even though they may be sufficient for the talk,I tend to get influenced by how the critisizers may view my work and it affects me for at that time.They also make bored,annoyed faces as if they have been forced to sit in the talk.Their expressions demoralize me and I have underperformed in my presentations and am fearful that this might happen again.

If your work is good, it will show and people will begin to realize it. If you fight, and fight hard by using ruthless logic and not letting the idiots get you down, you will win. Never ever stoop to their level. Just go into every presentation with the expectation of what they will say and prepeare responses to them. If you respond in a cal and cool manner, picking at each of their criticisms and showing why they are wrong headed, then the share value of your mind goes up with each idea you espouse and theirs goes down. It could be put as simply as them losing face but that could be describe what I'm talking about.

Any suggestions on how I might shield myself?

Preperation and persistance. Luckily science is like business and the value of a correct idea is generally appearant. If someone keeps giving bad values, they will be ignored/fired/etc. As a manager, I have some employees that were negative to the point of being toxic to the workplace. Although they were producers in terms of commissions, their destruction of other people's positive ideas and actions, plus their constant negativity lead me to fire them when they didn't correct their attitude.

Keep up the fight.

[JMeganSnow]

I try to remember that criticism, regardless of source and the tone it's delivered in, is a guide as to how I can improve myself. That being said, critics are generally good at inspiring all sorts of guilt. So, you have to ask yourself, WAS my behavior/performance up to snuff? DID I act poorly? Then put some sort of plan in effect to correct that situation in the future and stop feeling guilty. (It can take a while for the guilt/bad feelings to dissipate, but if you stick with your plan, they will.)

I am extremely self-critical and I generally tend to assume that everything is my fault. Part of the problem is that I have unreasonable expectations for myself. I forget that I need time for R&R. Sometimes I resent the fact that I get tired, or hungry, or whatever.